04/01/2026
New position at The Priest's Cottage anyone? 👻👻👻👻
🚨 NOW HIRING: SERVER AT THE PRIEST’S COTTAGE 🚨
Are you comfortable working alongside questionable life forms?
Do you have strong customer service skills and only a mild fear of the undead?
Then we want YOU to join our team at The Priest’s Cottage… proudly managed by our esteemed (and extremely well-preserved) host: Vicar Mortis 💀
About the Role:
You’ll be serving guests in our charmingly eerie cottage, ensuring every visitor has a spine-tinglingly good time. You’ll take orders, deliver food, and occasionally reassure customers that the vicar is “just resting.”
Your Manager:
Vicar Mortis has over 200 years of experience in standing very still and judging silently. A natural leader, he’s known for his rigid management style and bone-dry sense of humour.
Responsibilities:
• Greet guests with a warm smile (teeth optional)
• Serve food and drinks without screaming
• Politely ignore any unexplained noises
• Keep the vicar dust-free and upright at all times
• Close up at night (we don’t ask what happens after midnight… best not to)
Requirements:
• Previous hospitality experience preferred
• Ability to work evenings, weekends, and during supernatural occurrences
• Must not be easily spooked
• Team player (even if some team members no longer have flesh)
Perks:
•Free meals (ingredients occasionally identified)
•Paid breaks (taken outside, in the daylight, where it is SAFE)
•A supportive manager who literally cannot interrupt you
•Exposure to whatever is in the cellar (HR says we can’t elaborate)
Important Note:
Applicants must be comfortable working under a manager who is technically deceased but still very much “present.”
📅 Start date: April 1st
👻 Apply now before this opportunity vanishes into thin air!
The Priest’s Cottage is an equal opportunities employer. Humans, spirits, and animated skeletons welcome.