29/10/2025
I mean, I guess I have time for a quick drag.
The amount of times this has been asserted at polyamory-friendly spaces - whether it be an event or public forum is mind boggling to me. Like I’m just supposed to agree to this because of what?
And the assertions are always rooted in these beliefs:
- that single mothers need help so they need a village aka other women and one man to help them
- that Black women need guidance
- that this is what all of our ancestors did so we should regain our power and do it to (power meaning the men who suggest this)
- the Black community needs to pool our funds together and the only way to do that and support generational wealth is with polygyny
And all of these concepts are problematic to me. I have no issue with polygyny on a religious or cultural level as long as everyone is consenting to it and doing it not out of survival but personal choice. Building relationships out of survival or off the basis that “Black women and single mothers need help” is BOUND to fail. And it’s hella disrespectful.
But I always make time to unpack and check these types of comments.
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