Marjani Lane

29/10/2025

I mean, I guess I have time for a quick drag.

The amount of times this has been asserted at polyamory-friendly spaces - whether it be an event or public forum is mind boggling to me. Like I’m just supposed to agree to this because of what?

And the assertions are always rooted in these beliefs:

- that single mothers need help so they need a village aka other women and one man to help them
- that Black women need guidance
- that this is what all of our ancestors did so we should regain our power and do it to (power meaning the men who suggest this)
- the Black community needs to pool our funds together and the only way to do that and support generational wealth is with polygyny

And all of these concepts are problematic to me. I have no issue with polygyny on a religious or cultural level as long as everyone is consenting to it and doing it not out of survival but personal choice. Building relationships out of survival or off the basis that “Black women and single mothers need help” is BOUND to fail. And it’s hella disrespectful.

But I always make time to unpack and check these types of comments.

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28/10/2025

Ever so often I am baffled by people’s lack of knowledge when it comes to STI transmission.

People will be pregnant and have barrier-free s3x with their partner who does the same with others and get surprised that they were transmitted something. For Pete’s sake - you’re pregnant and already at risk immunity wise? You have to protect yourself lol.

Or taking people’s word for their STI status and not actually physically getting tested themselves. Sometimes this method can go on for years and if someone gets sick they don’t have a reference point of transmission.

Or assuming because they are in a closed dynamic - there is no need to get tested.

Sh/t happens.

I don’t accept screenshots of STI paperwork for proof and I get tested between partners. I don’t depend on someone’s “good word” because I don’t like the idea of finding out later they lied and it could have been prevented had I gotten a test with them and used barriers.

Even when I was in committed long term relationships where I only had one partner I shared fluids with - I got tested and communicated any concerns I had. This topic never gets old to me, maybe others lol. But we have to talk about STIs to slow and stop transmission to others.

I remember my period was late one time and someone told me to get a pregnancy test because I had a brand spanking new partner and I was confused. And then I realized that they thought we were sleeping together without barriers because that was what they did with their new partners. And even though it was a harmless suggestion - this is how common and how normal it is for many people to have s3x without barriers.

So yeah - do you by all means - but let’s not use trust as sti transmission prevention - especially when people lack so much knowledge about transmission and don’t tend to use barriers with people they simply “trust”.

You can trust, and verify.

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28/10/2025

The unicorn hunter becomes the hunted,

28/10/2025

REPOST FROM 2021!

Gotta announce for a specific reason and that I cannot identify with this lol.

But I know some of us can lol. Hopefully you get you a boo or two before the winter rolls in.

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27/10/2025

Another beautiful repost -

But can non-monogamy be an act of liberation? Whether intentionally or unintentionally?

For you and how you live is it an act of liberation?

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27/10/2025

Fighting for their lives for the perfect triad. Never interested in anything else lol. Good luck!

25/10/2025

Poly-curiosity creates a gray area that many people - either polyamorous or monogamous/monoamorous are not entirely comfortable with.

And sometimes that gray area swings to monogamy. Sometimes people find out that polyamory or non-monogamy as a whole isn’t their “thing”…

And that’s okay.

There is still value in the experience. Even if it feels like there is not. We have to make space for people to learn about polyamory and to learn that it’s not necessarily for them if that’s the case.

I promise it’ll be alright lol.

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25/10/2025

24/10/2025

It’s not a huge flex or even a necessary one - but I’m not polyamorous because of a man. Like I wasn’t looped into this because it was suggested by a partner or spouse who may or may not have been polyam theirselves.

Now if you were - that’s okay and welcome to the party. But there seems to be this idea that women or feminine presenting people who are polyam are that way because of a man, usually a cis man. And while that is very common, it’s not always the case lol.

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24/10/2025

Unpopular opinion: you can explore your sexuality alone. Trying to make everything a 3some is a bit…telling.