14/03/2024
I met with Gary in the kitchens after washing my face with warm water and using the toiletry on the first floor. “She also said to tell you that you don’t need to worry about her, and that if you were to ask questions about her not to answer them.” Garry had spoke immediately upon my entry- as if he’s been late in doing so. It took me a moment to accept that he was referring to Aihdah, but because there was no one else he could be referring to it just kind of clicked.
I would be staying on his side of the Estate tonight, an add on of sorts to the original structure of the house that occurred sometime in the 1700’s.
He reheated some duck stew on an open flame stove top. I was interested in learning what had to be done and he explained the simplicity of it eyeing me over the pot. Holding the copperware in front of himself in that way showed that he had large forearms covered in hair, and a tan. I could already smell the contents mixing, carrots, potatoes and the meat.
“You take everything left over from the week prior and put it in a pot.” He paused for emphasis, holding the deep copper pan in the air, “and then you cook it.” It’s really that easy, he gave me a sorry look. “Sometimes you just use the juice of the meats for broth and add salt and pepper.”
“But for how long?” I asked.
“That’s the great thing about stew; the longer it cooks and simmers, the better.”
“But then, what is too long?” I urged him to continue.
He looked at me as if I was possibly asking too many questions. Then he answered, his words picking up rhythm and speed as he expelled them. “Well, if it starts to burn the bottom the pan and the water content in the stew evaporates, followed by the contents in the pan igniting, smoke running about the house, the darned sprinkler system turning on… well then Enniah, you cooked it too damn long!” His eyes were so wide and open, they looked like they could roll out of his head. “Gosh, you sure ask a lot of questions when I see you.” He sighed again. “But you know what, I like you.”
“But, what does evaporate mean?”
“Enniah!” he stood open-mouthed. “Do you really not know?”
“I’m sorry Garry… It’s just…” I attempted to put it in words, how I needed to know the process now. I was slowly becoming addicted to learning. I wanted to be able to take care of myself. I had to know so people wouldn’t think I was stupid; at least that’s how it had started. Now it was more than that.
“You don’t have to explain it; this is a place for strange beginnings. Evaporate means to disperse water particles into the air. When water hits a certain temperature, a high one, it acts differently. It rises into the air.”
“Thank you.” I said.
He smiled.
I nodded. I just had to ask one more… “but like does that mean it separates, and disperses into the air because of the difference in temperature and pressure in comparison with those around it? I mean, because that’s why clouds exist right?”
He stared at me and I laughed.
“I learned a little about liquid to gas last week!” I said.
Garry just stood there still gawking at me. “I’m confused; so why did you ask what evaporate means if you understood any of that?”
“Well, I learned about liquid to gas state, and about the freezing point and boiling point. I was assuming that maybe evaporation was the process of visible liquid being dispersed throughout the air. Aihdah always tells me to think of our physical existence as little spheres, and that they push off of each other kind of like different oils and many of these spheres aren’t even visible. So when I picture water as little spheres and you apply heat to the bottom, I imagine them heating up.”
“Which,” I continued, “Aihdah says causes vibration, the more heat the more vibration. This means the little spheres would make more contact with the air above the pot, because they are moving faster, and because heat typically rises. But all this depends on the pressure of the spheres above it. I don’t know I’m still trying to understand it all. I mean I don’t really understand why heat is considered rising, when the entire planet takes place in a sphere. Doesn’t that mean to the people on the other side of the globe, that heat is sinking?”
Garry stared at me in a much more unusual way.
“What?” I asked. “She was teaching me about this stuff so she could make gold.”
“Gold?” he asked. “And it’s just that your thinking is very unusual, but brilliant. You don’t have all the pieces and I’m not sure if it’s all correct, but you are thinking of complex interactions when you don’t know how to cook a stew, or know what the word evaporate means. Also imagine that those spheres get stuck together in a field, because they aren’t moving past each other, well when these tiny bits, or these spheres don’t pass one another and vibration is at a very calm state, we observe a solid, when it is water, it is called ice. In English, we call those spheres molecules.”
“And that’s how we have snowflakes.” I smiled.
“Yes.” Garry nodded. He almost was at a whisper now. He left his bowl untouched while I dug deep into my bowl to grab for more of the hearty pieces of carrot and duck. “But why is she talking about gold?” he seemed particularly interested in that word. “You can’t make gold; you have to find it.”
“Well, I don’t know why. Is making gold a good thing? Does it have to do with energy, I mean she is always going on about how it’s all nearly impossible, but by using the normal routines of nature there is a way to enhance the energy gained from something she is working on, maybe enough to make gold, or gold is to make the energy, I’m not really sure.”
“What else is she teaching you, and why?”
“Is this not normal for her to teach?” I asked.
“Nothing about Aihdah is normal. But it is peculiar further yet.”
“You know I am not allowed to discuss Marter teachings, if that is what you are asking. But is there something special about gold?”
“I’m afraid I don’t know,” he replied raking his fingers through the stark hair on his scalp.
I stared at him. It was so obvious. His lack of eye contact, twisted lip and discomfort told me everything. “But you do know. Why won’t you explain it to me?”
He pushed up from his seat and thrust the chair underneath the table and grabbed his bowl and fork. “I am sorry, I don’t. You need to eat and get to bed.”
We remained in eye contact, and then he quickly turned away when he noticed I was taking him in fully, judging him even his worn clothes, and large brown eyes and thick short hair, I noticed that he had some gray strands scattered throughout, like his body was disagreeing on how old he ought to be. His face was tired in this light and marked from age, but he was still handsome. The strangest of all things was that Garry was using a fork instead of a spoon.
I laughed at this.
He lifted another fork full, the broth instantly left behind in his bowl.
“It would work better if you used a spoon.” I said.
He rolled his large eyes with a grin and placed his hands on both sides of the bowl before lifting it to his face. Then there was slurping. On his 4th finger, there was a worn ring of bronze color.
I just didn’t understand the importance of gold. I knew Aihdah obviously cared for it, and that he did too, the way his eyes lit up when he thought Aihdah was making it. He wasn’t being honest with me; I could just feel it, but I also didn’t feel like he was doing it to harm me. What was the point of hiding that information from me, and what purpose does gold have?
“Look, please just tell me Garry.”
I was surprised at how eager he was to answer. “Alright, well just remember you’re not supposed to talk to you about things and Aihdah is very specific about these particular things. You know about what you can hear, and learn.”
I stared at him.
“It’s used to make jewelry.”
“It’s also in the rehabilitation room! I know the golden handles in there had electricity.” I said. My mind filled with the events that happened there. It all seemed like it couldn’t have happened in a single night.
“Well I don’t know anything about that, but I know people like the jewelry.” He scratched his head. He looked nervous.
“So that’s the big secret? You think it’s desired because it makes bracelets and earrings? I don’t understand.”
Garry nodded. “Well gold doesn’t tarnish. So it holds up very well.”
“Your ring looks worn; is that gold?”
“Twenty-four Carat. It’s gold and some other metals, but what you see is surface scratches because gold is inherently soft, and the rest of its grungy color is from dirt and impurities. Look we have to stop talking about this; it can interfere with what Aihdah wants.”
“How, why would she care?”
“Just trust me. When she is teaching you, she doesn’t want someone else coming in and telling you something different than what she says. I am done on the subject.” It appeared as though Garry was becoming frustrated.
“How often do you stay here?”
“You mean to ask if I am here full time?” He asked after swallowing some flaccid poultry he had managed to balance on his fork. He wasn’t getting to much broth that way, so he ended up putting the bowl to his beard, and drinking it instead. When he brought it down, some of it was captured by the timber of his shortly trimmed beard.
“How long and since when?”
“I live here whenever Aihdah wants me to.”
“Do you love her?” I asked.
“Love Aihdah?” he balked. “Child, you are something.”
“It’s just I read about love, and it sounds so magnificent. I don’t know I feel like bits of my past are starting to come back to me and it has to do with love. I just know it does.” I said.
Garry perked up in his chair and looked eager for me to continue.
“It’s just there is this guy, you met him, Clinton. He is so annoying. Like I felt like Aihdah wanted me to love this person, but I just don’t have this feeling of love that I read about. I mean I liked him, I just didn’t feel like giddy. It just sounds all different. Is there something to it?”
“I don’t have any idea Enniah. Come on let’s get to bed. It’s 2 hours past morning.”
Garry made me close my eyes and said I wasn’t allowed to see this part of the homestead just yet. That I would be safe here. I asked him where the wolf came from or if he knew anything about them. “They’re a lot like dogs- he replied after I compared them,” part of the same family if you will, but that one seemed particularly fond of you. Now you need to close your eyes while we make our way through these corridors.”
I agreed. I covered my eyes when we reached a certain point and I tried to remember my footsteps, but it was difficult.
Tonight, I realized I would be sleeping in a bland room. It was mostly all wood, no paint. The wall was made of boards running horizontally and the ceiling had more wooden boards running in the same direction except they were much narrower, and the floor was the exact same thing. There were not any pictures or paintings or clocks. Just a room with a bed and a dresser. You could see tiny thin nail heads every so many feet that held it all together.
“I kind of like this too,” I whispered to myself.
“What’s that?” Garry asked.
“Nothing. I like the way wood looks.” I nodded. “Where is Aihdah? Is she okay?”
“She is fine.”
“But how do you know?”
“I just do; she told me she will see you in the morning. She told me to lock your door and make sure you don’t come out.”
“What if I have to use the bathroom, like I do now?”
“There’s a bathroom right there; it’s not a closet. Aihdah had the servant’s quarters redone years ago. This one now has a bathroom.”
“I should really change my clothes. This is uncomfortable.” I pointed to my silver strung corset.
“You’re exhausted. You will fall asleep in no time. There are probably loose clothes in the drawer over there if you need. Some of the other girls have stayed in this very room for their lessons, but you knew that.”
Actually, I didn’t know that. But I didn’t reply.
“Now, I don’t actually have to lock this door, do I?” He asked.
“No, please don’t.” I said. “What if anymore of those things come?” An image of discolored skin figures fading into a pinkish gray on a meek feeble body, lifeless. More bodies stacked against a wall somewhere. “What if there is dogs? More dogs?” I imagined them jumping the fence where the snow was piled high enough. What about those strange gigantic relative of theirs Garry spoke about? “What if there is a wolf?”
“That’s a yes. I’ll lock it.”
“NO!”
“You’re safe in here.” He closed the door and I heard his decision become finalized. Ca-Click.
