Hey BIRDE

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Hey BIRDE

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A space to support, celebrate, and be in community with those of us who are childless due to infertility, loss, or circumstance.💗Embracing what is & finding joy.🕊We didn’t expect to land here, but we will thrive. 🎤Podcast coming soon!

06/06/2022

The grief journey is a very different kind of grief.
One of my best friends shared this quote with me because it helped her embrace her unexpectedly journey. 💗She has very different reasons from me why she is childless- but we have found each other walking on the same path. She is much farther down the path than me, but remembers what it feels like to take those first steps into this “new” life we didn’t expect to live.
Sometimes, it’s almost “easier” to just be sad about how things turned out.
By easier- I mean less confusing. It is such a mind f*ck to go from sad about not having a kid, to being very happy how things are, back to sad, then back to happy.
BUT, I believe the more I allow myself to be happy- the longer I will stay in that state- and eventually happiness will become the norm.
This is one of the reasons I don’t think of myself as “childless”… instead, I’m a BIRDE. 🕊I was trying to fly to a specific location I’ve been planning for my entire life- but somehow I landed somewhere else.
It’s ok for me to be sad that I won’t ever get to land where I thought I was flying to… while also embracing the beauty of this new unexpected location.
Have you started to embrace this new location and enjoy it’s beauty? 🌅The more we share the beauty of this location, the more hope that can be provided for those that just landed here with us.
👉What (big or small!) have you enjoyed about this unexpected location?

27/05/2022

Hey BIRDIEs! 🕊 Who had unexpected side effects from fertility treatments? 🙋‍♀️
It’s been 6 months since my last IVF cycle and I am just now starting to physically feel more like myself. (Emotionally is a whole other topic!)
I knew I would have physical side effect ~while~ I was taking the meds, but I had way more physical long-term side effects than I expected (or was told about). Here’s just a few I’ve been battling and am still battling months later:
1️⃣ Weight Gain➞ I gained a solid 15lbs during IVF treatments. (6 months later, I’ve lost most of it and finally started to rebuild the muscle lost.)
2️⃣ Hair Loss➞ I have/had terrible hair loss around my temples and hairline (I’ve been using Rogain 1 time a day and it’s slowly coming back. At some point I will share the “before” and “after” photos.)
3️⃣ Breakouts➞ Skin of a teenager + wrinkles of someone in their 40s = not cute! (I’m back on Retin-A and my usual skin care routine.)
4️⃣ Broken Blood Vessels➞ All around my nose and on my face. (I was told this was from Estrogen quickly rising and dropping multiple times.)
5️⃣ Larger Hips & Feet➞ I’m now permanently up a pant and shoe size! I knew this could happen from pregnancy… but I didn’t realize it can also happen from all those HCG trigger shots!
What unexpected side effects did you have? Are you still battling them?

24/05/2022

Right before my 3rd round of IVF, I made the decision to share my journey publicly on my personal Instagram page
I decided to because 1 in 8 couples face infertility- yet when you’re part of this statistic- it feels very lonely.
I knew it would probably attract multiple different types of messages and comments- and it sure did! 😑I never asked for advice- but I sure did receive it lol.
I did actually receive a ton of support and encouragement (during treatment), but I also received many messages like these.
(My ‘favorite’ was the free tracking app message! 😂 Like- “Thank you good stranger for this groundbreaking information! Why did I just spend thousands of dollars and get hundreds of needles when I could just download an app FOR FREE and 💨POOF💨 be pregnant!”🤣🙄)
What unsolicited advice have you gotten?

19/05/2022

Am I right? or Am I right? 😂
When you’ve shared that your journey to have a child has ended…
What have people said to you that make you 😡🤬?

18/04/2022

One moment I feel like I’m ok and the next it’s right back in my face. It’s not getting better- it’s getting deeper. It’s expanding.

I’m talking about that bitch of an emotion: Grief.

This is a type of grief that’s hard for other people to understand.

After our 4th failed IVF cycle, Kevin and I decided to end all fertility treatments. This was in December.

➡️After all of the nonstop injections, drs appointments, procedures, bloods….

➡️After all of the physical and emotional side effects that made me look and feel like a different person….

➡️After all of the getting our hopes up, only to constantly be absolutely crushed and disappointed…

The feeling of RELIEF that I (we) didn’t have to keep going through all of that outweighed my grief.

❗️Finally, no more internal exams.
❗️Finally, no more hormones or needles.
❗️Finally, no more working out restrictions.
❗️Finally, I could go back to my regular skin care products.
❗️Finally, I could drink alcohol without feeling guilty.
❗️Finally, I could travel and not be terrified of getting sick.

I rested on that relief and tried to ignore the grief.

But grief is a bitch. She will not allow you to ignore her presence. And once she grabs on- she’s not going to leave.

It’s all hitting me hard right now. If you know… you know. (If you don’t- then be thankful you don’t.)

I’ve been taking these past few months to process how I feel. It’s different each day… and that’s ok.

I didn’t expect to land here… but I’m going to figure out how to love this new destination, grow my life around the grief, and thrive. That’s what being a Birde🕊 is all about 💗

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