Midlife Flyness

29/10/2025

Just because someone lives alone and can take care of themselves doesn’t mean they don’t need care.

We’re heading into a season where government support is unstable — SNAP benefits are being cut, programs are paused, and the cost of everything keeps climbing. When systems get shaky, community has to step in.

That means calling our elders, checking on our neighbors, and making sure folks have what they need — food, meds, warmth, and somebody who will actually pick up the phone.

This isn’t charity. It’s scaffolding.
It’s how we hold each other up.

C.A.R.E. — Because We Got Us.
Check. Assess. Restock. Engage.

23/10/2025

One of the real superpowers that comes with getting older is knowing your worth without needing anyone to validate it. There’s a peace that settles in when you stop performing for rooms that don’t see you, stop overextending for people who don’t value you, and stop negotiating your place in spaces you’ve already earned.

At this stage, everything in my life has to make sense on a soul level. Friendships, relationships, collaborations—all of it. If it doesn’t pour back into me, it’s not alignment. And baby, alignment over approval every time.

Because that’s what aging with intention looks like. You start realizing that peace isn’t a prize you chase—it’s the standard you set. And the beautiful thing is, once you learn that, everything else starts to rearrange itself accordingly.

That’s not ego. That’s evolution.

20/10/2025

This post was originally shared in 2022—and honestly, it still holds.
The problem isn’t that there aren’t enough older experts.
It’s that there isn’t enough imagination about what our expertise looks like.

People are perfectly comfortable calling on older women when the topic is fitness, fashion, or how to “age gracefully.”
But where are we when the conversation is about leadership, innovation, technology, or culture?

Aging keeps getting boxed into a lifestyle category—something to manage, not a lens to learn from.
But those of us who’ve lived through five decades of change don’t just have stories—we have context.
We’ve seen cycles repeat. We know what lasts and what doesn’t.

If your panels, podcasts, and conferences don’t include voices who’ve lived long enough to recognize the patterns, your conversation is incomplete.
We don’t just need older bodies in the room—we need older voices shaping the dialogue.

Because aging isn’t something to survive or conceal.
It’s perspective earned.
It’s data lived.
It’s vision you can’t Google.

So the question isn’t, “Where are the older experts?”
We’ve been here.
The real question is, “When will you widen the lens?”

19/10/2025

Last year, Arlinda dropped this rich fall set she called Cinnamon. I said, “Sis, that’s not cinnamon — that’s Sweet Potato Pie!”

Fast forward to this season, and look what she did. 👀
She named the color Kendra’s Cinnamon Sweet Potato Pie.

So here we are — two fly divas, vibing across the miles. Arlinda’s rocking her set in Carmel and together we’re proving that flyness travels. Whether it’s across states or across seasons — we keep it warm, spicy, and sweet.

16/10/2025

I’m still shocked. I know many of y’all are too.
We wanted more. We always do. We wanted the conversation to continue but it was time for him to go home.
Fortunately, the love letters he left behind will continue to speak to us❤️

14/10/2025

10/10/2025

What’s the mood?
Gray hair + melanin = elite combination

09/10/2025

Homecoming season hits different when you’re HBCU made. 🐅✨

There’s something sacred about stepping back on that yard — where you learned who you were, fell in love with your culture, and saw the fullness of Black brilliance reflected everywhere you looked.

I’m proud to say I was Tuskegee University made… 90s fine and all. Back when the booties were high, the waists were tight, the music was magic, and the love was real. From pledging Delta Sigma Theta Sorority -to meeting my husband (25 years strong!) — my roots run deep in that red clay.

Tuskegee didn’t just educate me. She shaped me. She held me. She gave me family.

So to all my HBCU fam, whether you’re heading homecoming this year or just holding the memories close — celebrate that legacy. There’s nothing like being HBCU made. ❤️💛

02/10/2025

Society keeps trying to hand us rules about aging—stay quiet, stay small, act your age. But Gen X? We never played by their rules. We’re not about to start now. Bigger. Louder. Freer & Flyer! 💃🏾🙌🏾❤️

24/09/2025

Menopausal weight was kicking my ass. All the things I did before suddenly stopped working. And after being good and pi**ed about it, I decided to give myself grace—and use this as an opportunity to learn how to honor this version of me.

That’s looked like lifting heavier, upping my protein and fiber, cutting back on sugar (but never cutting out joy—yes, I’ll still have a cocktail). It’s meant more steps, more water, and a whole lot more minding my business.

I usually share my workouts in Stories, but lately I’ve been slowing down to let my mind catch up with my body. Because that’s the real shift—allowing space to adjust my needs now, instead of clinging to what worked back then.

If you’re navigating this too, you’re not alone. We’re all figuring out how to evolve with our bodies instead of fighting against them. And there’s power in learning together.
❤️ Kendra

22/09/2025

Fly isn’t something you wear—it’s something you are. I just happen to do both.”

This weekend felt like a mirror—being with family and friends who see me clearly and reflect me back to myself. The laughter, the dancing, the living out loud… it reminded me that as we age, the real gift is leaning deeper into who we already are. Not shrinking, not performing—just showing up fully and being met with love that says, yes, more of that.

24/03/2025

But if the young folks are the new adults…

Then sis, that makes us the new elders.

I know—I had to sit with that too.
You’re not just the big cousin anymore. You’re not “just” grown.
You’re the one they’re turning to now.
You’re somewhere between Mama Dem and the babies.
And folks are showing up with real questions, real grief, real need—and no guide.

This post is for all of us who are stepping into that elder role (whether we feel ready or not). I’m calling it “junior elderhood”—that in-between space where we’re still learning, but also being looked to for answers.

Because here’s the truth:
We’re filling big shoes with very little instruction.
But we don’t have to do it alone.
We’ve always been each other’s best resource.

So here’s what I want you to do:
— Watch this carousel and see if you recognize yourself.
— Share your tips, your cheat codes, your elder-in-training moments in the comments.
— And if you’re ready to go deeper, I’ve got something else for you:

I’m launching a Substack—a private, intentional space for us to unpack these conversations without rushing, without algorithms, and without having to squeeze our stories into captions. It’s a space for the extended versions. The uncut stories. The parts we whisper to each other in the kitchen after the party.

I’m launching a Substack—a private, intentional space for us to unpack these conversations without rushing, without algorithms, and without having to squeeze our stories into captions. It’s a space for the extended versions. The uncut stories. The parts we whisper to each other in the kitchen after the party.

Because elderhood isn’t just about age—it’s about how we show up.
And I believe we can prepare together.

midlifeflyness.substack.com
Come through.