14/05/2025
People make mistakes. People learn. People course-correct. That’s the behavioral cycle of growth.
But culturally, we’ve developed a contradiction: we say we want accountability, but often punish the very vulnerability it requires. We treat imperfection as unworthiness, nuance as weakness, and any deviation from the “correct” opinion as grounds for exile.
I’ll be honest—I’ve done this too. I’ve judged too quickly. We all have. It’s human to react, to want clarity, to draw lines. But I’ve been working on slowing that impulse down. Because the truth is, not everything is a red flag. Sometimes, it’s just a moment. Or a mistake. Or a person mid-evolution. And cutting people off before they even have a chance to grow doesn’t build the world we say we want—it just makes it smaller.
When we make growth unsafe, people go quiet. They stop asking questions. They stop experimenting with new ideas. They stop showing the process of becoming. And we lose something vital: public models of transformation.
Take Robert Downey Jr.
He went from being seen as a risk—struggling publicly with addiction and legal issues—to becoming one of the most bankable actors in the world. He didn’t do it by pretending he’d always been perfect. He did it by owning his story, repairing what needed repair, and doing better in full view. And just as importantly, the world let him.
That’s what growth can look like—when we make space for it.
Because change doesn’t come from people who’ve always gotten it right. It comes from those willing to confront their missteps and move forward with accountability.
And here’s the thing: we are living in a moment where actual threats to our rights, safety, and freedoms are very real. So maybe it’s worth asking—before ending a friendship over someone still liking Taylor Swift (literally my inspiration for this post. I can't even)—if we’re reacting to harm or to discomfort. If the moment calls for correction or connection or maybe both.
We need more space for complexity, not less.
Because growth isn’t neat. But it is necessary.
