Swift Coolette

27/07/2025

JOKE OF THE DAY: An elderly couple, Bert and Edna, are sitting on the porch swing one quiet Sunday evening.

They've been married for 55 years. The sun is setting, the birds are chirping, and they're both sipping lukewarm tea, watching squirrels fight over a Cheeto in the yard.

Out of the blue, Edna sighs and says, “Bert, let’s talk about our bucket lists.”

Bert raises an eyebrow. “Bucket lists? Edna, I’m 87. My list is down to ‘wake up tomorrow and remember where I put my pants.’”

Edna chuckles. “No, I’m serious. Before we go, we should each do something we’ve always wanted to do but never had the chance.”

Bert thinks for a moment. “Alright, fine. I’ve always wanted to go skydiving.”

Edna's eyes widen. “Skydiving?! Bert, the last time you bent down to tie your shoe, you passed out for three minutes.”

Bert shrugs. “Well, if I die mid-air, just let me land in the neighbor's garden. I’ve always wanted to haunt him.”

They laugh, and Edna nods. “Okay, okay. You go skydiving. I’ll do mine too.”

Bert squints. “And what’s yours?”

Edna suddenly gets this mischievous sparkle in her eye — the same one she had back in 1965 when she “accidentally” dropped Bert’s bowling trophy out the car window during an argument.

“I’ve always wanted to confess something to you, Bert.”

Bert gulps. “Confess what?”

Edna leans closer and whispers, “You know how your favorite recliner always mysteriously leaned to the left for 20 years?”

Bert nods. “Yeah, blamed the dog. Poor thing limped for weeks.”

Edna smiles. “Well, it was me. I jammed a spatula in the bottom after you spilled grape soda on my new curtains in ’89.”

Bert gasps. “You monster!”

Edna giggles. “And remember that time the remote kept changing the channel to the Hallmark channel, no matter what button you pressed?”

Bert blinks. “You said it was haunted!”

Edna smirks. “Nope. I glued a penny inside the battery compartment to short-circuit it. You never missed a single Christmas romance movie for five straight years.”

Bert’s mouth drops open. “Why would you do that?!”

Edna sips her tea, serene. “Because payback, dear, is best served with mistletoe and slow-motion snowball fights.”

After a long pause, Bert leans back in the swing and says, “You know what, Edna? I’ve got a confession too.” ⬇️ (Continuation in first comment)😂👇

27/07/2025

Full story in the comment ⤵️

27/07/2025

I TAKE MY TODDLER ON LONG HAULS—BUT LAST WEEK HE SAID SOMETHING THAT STOPPED ME COLD
I’ve been driving freight since I was nineteen, and when childcare got too expensive, I just strapped a car seat into the rig and brought Micah with me. He’s two now—sharp, stubborn, and already knows how to radio-check better than some new hires.
It’s not exactly conventional, but he loves the road. The noise, the movement, the steady rhythm of tires on asphalt. And honestly? Having him close helps with the loneliness.
We wear matching hi-vis jackets, share snacks, and sing the same off-key songs every stretch of highway. Most days blur together—truck stops, delivery docks, refueling routines.
But last week, right outside Amarillo, something happened.
We’d stopped at a rest area just before sunset. I was checking the trailer straps while Micah sat on the curb, humming to himself and playing with his toy dump truck.
Then he looked up at me—out of nowhere—and said, “Mama, when is he coming back?”
I blinked. “Who, baby?”
Micah pointed toward the cab. “The man who sits up front. He was here yesterday.”
I froze.
Because we’d been alone. We’re always alone. I don’t let anyone else in that truck. Ever.
I knelt beside him. “What man, Micah?”
He didn’t seem scared. Just matter-of-fact. “The one who gave me the paper. He said it’s for you.”
I checked the cab. Nothing obvious. But later, when I opened the glove box to get my logbook, there it was.
A folded piece of paper.
Micah’s name written across the front.
And inside—
— — — continues in the first 🗨️⬇️

27/07/2025

Trump’s team breaks silence after Epstein photo backlash 👀 What he said shocked everyone — and sparked new controversy 😳 👉 Full story in the comments

27/07/2025

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27/07/2025

27/07/2025

FOOD STARTED DISAPPEARING FROM MY HOME WHILE I WAS AT WORK — SO I TURNED ON THE HIDDEN CAMERA.

For weeks, food kept vanishing from our house. At first, it was small things — chocolates, juice. Then? My husband's birthday caviar disappeared.
Samuel swore he wasn't touching anything.

So, I set up a hidden camera.

And what I saw made my blood run cold.

My mother-in-law, Pamela, waltzed into our home like she owned the place.

She made herself tea, a snack with my expensive caviar, and — just when I thought it couldn't get worse — walked into my bedroom.

And started trying on my dresses.

And my underwear.

What. The. Hell.

The next day, I called in sick and waited.

Right on schedule, she let herself in.

Made a sandwich. Poured my wine. Took her shoes off like she was moving in.

Then, like clockwork, she headed for my closet.

As soon as she started rifling through my clothes, I stepped into the room.

"Enjoying yourself?" I asked, arms crossed. ⬇️ (Story continues in comment)

27/07/2025

Full story in the first cᴑmment 👇

27/07/2025

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27/07/2025

SAD NEWS: Just 30 Minutes Ago, HlLLARY CLlNT0N — HER SHOCKING ANNOUNCEMENT LEFT THE WORLD STUNNED 😱🙏...