Sentients of the Galactic Empire

18/10/2021

11/06/2020

URGENT: The Galactic Empire would like to say that in light of the recent Rakghoul plague, a strict quarantine will be enforced. Please present yourself to your nearest med center if exhibiting any of the following symptoms (fever, dry cough, tiredness, aches and pains, sore throat, diarrhoea, conjunctivitis, headache, loss of taste or smell, a rash on skin, or discolouration of fingers or toes, difficulty breathing or shortness of breath, chest pain or pressure, loss of speech or movement) to be given anti-Rakghoul treatment. And remember, to stay home is to stay safe!

05/05/2020

“What the frag did you just fragging say about me, you little schutta? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Shock troopers, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the rebellion, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire Imperial armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the frag out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Galaxy, mark my fu***ng words. You think you can get away with saying that s**t to me over the Holonet? Think again, fu**er. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the Galaxy and your HP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fragging dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the Imperial Trooper Core and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the planet, you little s**t. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fragging tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will s**t fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fu***ng dead, kiddo.”

User “Sarlaacdick_6969”
The Holonet

04/05/2020

I've served for 5 years now as an Imperial Tank Commander. The call me the Desert Gizka. Fought the rebels in numerous regions, and command my own tank. I won medals you know, capturing rebel insurgents. But where do they put me? Peace keeping in Jedha. This is a waste of my talents I tell you. But orders are orders. Would you believe that since the occupation of Jedha's main square, they've tripled the amount of Tanks in the City? Something's going to happen soon mark my words.

TC-8141944 'The Desert Gizka'

29/11/2018

IMPERIUM - for men
The New Fragrance From TARKIN

Wilhuff Tarkin is the face of the new chapter of IMPERIUM Parfum. A composition that opens with an aromatic freshness and lingers on the warm, addictive fullness of millions of voices crying out in terror from Alderaan. A powerful and refined composition. An aromatic-woody fragrance that blends the elegance of the tears of millions of Alderaanians with the originality of just a touch of lavender and the sensuality of charred planetary cores. A warm and voluptuous composition. The essence of determination.

★★★★★
“What does it smell like? The Glory of the Empire of course.” — TI82, Stormtrooper Corps

★★★★★
“Old Spice? In our moment of triumph? You may admire when ready…” — Grand Moff Tarkin

★☆☆☆☆
“I recognised your foul stench when I was brought on board…” — Princess Leia Organa

☆☆☆☆☆
“WE STAND HERE AMIDST MY FRAGRANCE! NOT YOURS!” — Director Krennic (probably)

27/11/2018

"Personally, I never really supported the idea of the Death Troopers. The name just doesn't reflect us as a corp. Many people think all we do is defend Director Krennic, but in reality, we spend more time helping out the local communities. As a matter of fact, just last week, we were donating dolls to orphaned Rodian children on Tatooine, along with teaching them to write Galactic Basic!

DT-F42

Classified
Classified
Classified

22/08/2017

"Not too bright..."
"Don't look!"

The Emperor and a Imperial Aide
Recorded exchange during the Emperor's observation of the recent Eclipse without his safety visor
Theed Royal Palace, Naboo

06/04/2017

"Thank goodness someone can hear me! Nobody here communicates to me! Ever! Then again, I don't think they ever communicate amongst themselves. I've actually never seen anyone lick another. Look, it doesn't matter. What matters is that I'm trapped here. I can't move on my own. I have to escape! Carry me out of here! Please!"

Ghoel
Jabba's Palace
Tatooine

31/03/2017

"I'm done with bounty hunting. Finished. I bet I got enough Jagannath Points for myself, now. Bounty hunting is loud, it's dangerous, and when you get to my age, it just isn't worth it anymore. That's why I've stacked up on credits, my friend! I'm going to accomplish my life-long dream of opening a restaurant. Soon enough, my name won't make people shake in their boots, it'll make their stomachs grumble, mark my words!"

Bossk
Great Rock
Ord Mantell

25/03/2017

"People often frown upon those of my profession, but the only thing that shows is how many hypocrites there are. An informant isn't some devil who sells your personal details, an informant is just someone who gossips in exchange for more than just information – and by the way, you still owe me fifty credits for that tip off about your wife earlier."

Garindan "Long Snoot"
Mos Eisley
Tatooine

22/01/2017

"I have a very efficient programming. Most people would agree to that, even if they disagree to the rest. My task is simple. Make a prisoner break. Make them break not until they have said what I judge to be as much as they can, but until an imperial specialist judges it so. That way, my findings are always satisfactory and in line with the goals of the empire."

IT-O
Cell block AA-23
Death Star

14/01/2017

"I'll be honest, I'm still confused. When I went to see my superior to ask for shore leave. I expected a refusal, or a form to fill, but no. Instead, he said "I understand," and sent me to a room where I was given a new outfit and serial number. Now, whenever I ask someone, they laugh and refuse to answer – why are you laughing?"

TK-52249
Laamu Island
Scarif