Favvy's blog (2025)

20/06/2025

Story! Story!

I don’t know if it’s a Nigerian thing, this tendency to ignore warnings until we’ve had a firsthand experience. There’s a special set of people with coconut heads who just enjoy learning the hard way, and unfortunately, I’m one of them. In fact, I’m the leader of the committee.

Because what else explains how I went out late to buy something, even after hearing numerous stories of people being attacked at night on my street?

Call it ridiculous audacity!

Because when I didn’t see any nearby store open, why did I proceed all the way to the next street?

As if that wasn’t enough, I heard a gunshot, and still continued on my journey. Because where does folly get its foolishness from?

Anyway, the moment I saw people running from the direction of the gunshot, screaming that they had encountered a thief, I ran faster than Usain Bolt, abandoning my quest for whatever took me outside.

Omor, I was so shaken by the experience. For someone who enjoys staying out late, this was truly eye-opening. I now understand why my dad keeps calling endlessly whenever I’m not home on time.

Dearest reader, things dey happen! Just because it hasn’t happened to you doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen, or that it can’t. That “it can’t be me” mindset often stems from pride. The way it will be you ehn, you won’t even believe it.

Moral lesson: try dey hear word (more to myself than to you, sef).

🖤.

19/06/2025

Happy World Sickle Cell Day! ❤️

To the one percents of the one percent...

They are called warriors, not just because they battle pain,
But because they do it with grace, a torch of light in a tunnel of ache.

The crises, the meds, the sharp sting of needles, the cold walls of hospital rooms.
Still, they rise each day, fighting tooth and soul, to witness tomorrow’s dawn.

A warrior once wrote,
"The fault is not in our stars but in our cells", and I felt every syllable.

I may not know much,
But this I know for sure:
If love is blind, then the cost of hospitalization is eye-widening.
Truth rips through illusion
When pain becomes the price of romance.

Love may be blind, yes, but sentencing a child to a lifetime of pain, all because of a love unchecked, is not just unfair...
It is cruel.

So here’s to the warriors still standing, hearts ablaze, hands blood-stained, fighting a war they never signed up for.
Bracing complications that come uninvited, yet complaining far less than most of us blessed with healthy cells.

You are not just strong.
You are sacred.
You are seen.
You are loved.

❤️

18/06/2025

STRENGTH IN GOD'S MIGHT.

"Sometimes, we forget just how much we've survived" X

We’re often so consumed by the battles of today that we don’t remember the strength we showed yesterday.

Funny enough, most times when we say, "I’ve never had it this bad," we’re actually lying. In fact, we’ve had it much worse. But it’s natural for the human mind to forget and get overwhelmed by whatever is currently happening.

That’s how we panic in situations, forgetting the might of God simply because the size of the problem is staring us in the face. We forget how God showed up before, how He brought us out of something that felt like hell.

That’s why my favourite axiom is: "It’s not about the size of the problem or challenge, but about the might of my God." This truth has helped me through some pretty panic-worthy situations.

Dearest reader, I believe we are never handed more than we can handle. Don’t forget the strength you showed yesterday, it’s proof of how much you’re capable of handling. And most importantly, don’t forget the might of God. When He shows up, He really shows up.

🖤.

17/06/2025

Proverbs 14:10

“Your joy is your own; your bitterness is your own. No one can share them with you.”

There’s nothing as annoying as telling a grieving person, “I understand how you feel.” It’s honestly one of the most insensitive things you could say. You don’t feel their pain. Their pain is unique to them, and you have no idea how deeply it hurts.

I lost someone important today. It was heartbreaking. At first, I was forming hard girl. I went through the day doing everything but thinking about the loss. But the moment I got home, the dam broke.

I wept. At first, I tried to hold it in, but I couldn’t. No words of encouragement could lift the heaviness. Yet, one thing that stood out was my coach telling me, “It’s alright to cry.”

Life happens, and sometimes things go south. But one thing is essential, don’t brush off your pain or pretend it doesn’t hurt. And please, don’t assume you understand the weight of someone else’s grief.

Dearest reader, you may never truly grasp the depth of someone’s pain, just as the next person can't fully understand your pain. However, empathy helps us slip into their shoes, even if briefly, so we can offer comfort. It doesn't mean we’ll ever fully get it...

So please, in trying to sympathise with someone, don't just say anything.

🖤.

16/06/2025

THE WEIGHT OF THE RIGHT ROOM

Another day to remind you about the power of association. But first, allow me to re-echo this: There are some rooms you should be in!

Yes, I know I’ve said this before, but seriously, association opens you up to a level of possibilities that is astonishing.

What you believe is possible is often shaped by the people around you. They influence not just your mind but your entire perspective, guiding how far you can see.

Recently, I connected with a friend and joined a community operating on a level way ahead of me, and it has been both overwhelming and inspiring. To be honest, it has also been depressing.

You know that moment when you see people your age leveraging opportunities you're capable of handling, yet you're doing nothing about it? It stings deeply.

There’s a difference between hearing about possibilities from someone far away and seeing it lived out by someone close to you. That proximity makes the truth hit harder.

These kinds of moments can make you pause and ask, “What am I even doing with my life?”

But what if those hard questions and the feelings of doubt are the very things that push you toward your answers?

Most times when I ask myself that question, I tend to brush it off because the weight of it can be heavy. But I’m reminded of King Solomon’s words in Ecclesiastes: “Sorrow is better than laughter, for by a sad countenance the heart is made better.”

Dear reader, my advice—which is not just for you but for myself too—is this: ask the heavy questions. Enter the rooms that sharpen your understanding, even when the truths they reveal are hard to hear. Be intentional about who you associate with.

🖤.

15/06/2025

THE IDEA OF IT..

The idea of things is often a lot fancier than the reality of them. While the idea is what they appear to be on the surface, the reality is what they truly involve.

Whether intentional or not, everything wears a false appearance, a deceptive front that can easily trick the simple-minded.

In the words of Pojomatics, "Hidden behind every perceived simplicity is an intended complexity," which means nothing is ever really as it seems. Take the mountain underneath an iceberg, for example. How would anyone see the iceberg and immediately know there is a mountain beneath it? I'm sure you wouldn't think it.

That's the point. Things are not as they seem. Simplicity hides depths and layers. So, falling in love with the idea of something is like admiring only the visible part of the iceberg, unaware that just beneath it lies a mountain.

Dearest reader, don't fall in love with the idea of things whose reality you are yet to practically understand. Reality is messy and sometimes disappointing, which makes it frustrating to face when you're already on the journey.

The reality of your dream job is often scarier than your fantasized idea of it. And that's the case with almost everything.

Digest the reality of things first before falling in love with the idea of them.

🖤.

14/06/2025

CHRONICLES OF LADY AVA: Guilt and Loathe Are Often Related

I was taking a well-deserved break today after a rather tedious week, so I found comfort in one African novel. While reading, I caught myself judging the main character for displaying a level of stupidity I found both annoying and irritating.

I was even more upset because the character was a woman, and it made us look bad, made us look weak. That was when I paused and asked myself, "Why am I really upset?"

And then it hit me. I was equally guilty of the very thing I was loathing.

I had recently done something just as foolish, without even realizing it.

Like Ava would say, we are always justifying our own foolishness, yet we are quick to call out others on theirs. And when we look closely, the things that offend us the most are often things we have experienced ourselves or are guilty of.

---

If there’s anyone I learned the habit of staying out late from, it is Ava. One time, we all went out and got home very late. She was seriously beaten by her older brother. We could not understand where all the anger was coming from.

Later, she told us that when he was her age, he had a similar habit. One night, while coming home, he went through something so traumatic that he never came home late again. Now, this explains him almost beating her to death lol

Dearest reader, my anger toward that novel character reminded me of Ava’s experience with her brother. It helped me realize the real reason I was upset.

I was the stupid character. We were alike. And that is often an unnerving truth to confront.

The next time you are upset, ask yourself, "Why is this so upsetting to me?" And give yourself the grace to be honest.

🖤.

13/06/2025

"ACRIMONY"

Watched this movie a while back and I don't even have the words for it.

Mehn!!!

Like my coach would say, if somebody doesn't have accountability, run ooo!

Rage consumes!

One thing that stood out for me in this movie is accountability. The character Mel does not have one person in her life who can tell her to sit down and she would actually listen, and that's one of the scariest things ever.

The movie was actually recommended by a friend who wanted to hear my opinion on it. So when I was done watching, he asked, "Who did wrong the most?"

I couldn’t answer. Because for me, it’s not about who’s wrong or right. They were both wrong and right at the same time. Right and wrong is a matter of perspective, how you are looking at it.

Dearest reader, we’re constantly choosing, whether voluntarily or involuntarily (nothing just kinda happens). So please, be sure about the kinds of people you’re choosing to love, be with, or allow into your space.

Remember, if somebody doesn’t have accountability, run farrrrr!

🖤.

12/06/2025

THE WAY YOU SEE IT.

When your coach tells you that the very things you're going through that feel like hell are actually a good thing, and you just have to change the way you're looking at it, you go just weak.

Omor, it sounds crazy, but come to think of it, it is true.

I don't believe in coincidence. Hence, this line of thought makes sense to me. Because things don't just happen. And if they do happen, it's all for the better.

When we go through stuff, it's necessary not to be distracted by the magnitude of whatsoever it is. That's the wrong way to deal with things. How do you look at the challenges you face? How do you understand them? What are the bases on which you evaluate what you're going through?

I had an impossible day yesterday. It was so tedious, I got upset about it. But after my call with my coach, I decided to put on a new mental cape and look at it differently. I let go of the frustration of the pending tasks that were stressing me, had a good nap, and tried again.

Well, not until this morning did I get it right. And even so, it was still a lot to put together, yet I wasn't raging. I wasn't allowing the process to frustrate me like it did the other time.

Dearest reader, this impossible task wasn't the problem, i was. Or rather, the way I was looking at it was. It was stretchy, but it inevitably got me to think for myself. Therefore, it was a good thing.

Like my coach puts it, "If a heartbreak hurts so bad that it gets you to fix your ass and do better, then that heartbreak was a good thing."
And you'd only be able to experience it as a good thing if you begin to see it differently.

Take off your victimhood mental model and look differently at your challenges.

🖤

11/06/2025

Worth the Struggle.

“…They were able to endure it or perhaps even enjoy it because it meant something.” ~ X

What’s the point of moving forward without the assurance of a light at the end of the tunnel?

You see, we thrive and fight through life’s back and forth bu****it because we believe it all adds up to something. The reason behind the struggle means something to us.

Now, without that meaning, there’s absolutely nothing that can or will keep us on track. This is why it is of utmost importance.

We can survive the most intense situations if we strongly believe they mean something. It starts with enduring, and eventually, we grow to enjoy it regardless of how hard or tasking it may be. Why? Because it means something. That so-called light at the end of the tunnel.

Thinking back to the preparation for the Evolve Conference, team meetings online were one of the many things I dreaded. I had terrible network reception in my house, especially in my room, so I had to sit outside during every meeting. And while I sat there, mosquitoes enjoyed a feast of my blood.

But did I grow to love it? Hell yeah.

Here’s why I loved it: it was more than worth it. It was one of the reasons the event was a success. And that was the light at the end of the tunnel for me.

Dearest reader, make sure you clearly define what means something to you and then endure or even enjoy the outcome of it all.

Remember, nothing drives a person more than a cause they believe in.

Choose your struggles and make sure they’re worth it. Only then will the struggle be bearable.

🖤.

10/06/2025

"When the going gets tough, the tough get going."

This season has been nothing but challenging! It's been a roller coaster of responsibilities constantly landing in my lap, or me diving into things I'm not even sure I can handle.

But guess what? Quietly and steadily, the strength to keep going keeps showing up. Sometimes, I surprise myself with how far I can go.

One of my guiding beliefs is this: the strength to go on will come. I hold on to this with so much certainty, not just because I'm tough, but because every day it feels like God is revealing new layers of me and deeper levels of capacity within.

So, dearest reader, is the season equally tough and demanding for you? Hang in there. You’ll be just fine. Remember, as Mark Manson puts it, “Some of the most difficult and stressful moments of our lives also end up being the most formative and motivating.”

It doesn’t have to feel right, and it won't be easy, but trust that it's all contributing to the amazing jigsaw puzzle that is you.
It's all part of the process, that gives the much needed result.

So, when the going gets tough, the tough get what?

Going!!!

Lastly, I’ll leave you with one powerful insight from one of my favorite authors, King Solomon: “A healthy spirit conquers adversity, but what can you do when the spirit is crushed?” — Proverbs 18:14 (MSG)

In other words, even when the going gets tougher, keep a healthy spirit.

🖤.

09/06/2025

WHAT IS ENOUGH?

"...I thought that love sometimes just wasn't enough, and then I realized that each individual gets to decide what is 'enough,' and that love can be whatever we let it be." ~ Mark Manson

Trust the hopeless romantic and love poet in me to find such a line in a self-help book. Funny enough, someone else could read the same book and not even notice that line. Why? Because we’re naturally drawn to the things that resonate with who we are. Yada yada.

*****

Back to the quote above, i came across it while reading late at night. And yes, I jumped out of bed to grab a notepad and pen to jot it down.

The first question that came to mind was: What is enough?

As someone who has always believed that love isn’t enough, I had to pause and reflect. I had to question both myself and the quote.

“Enough” isn’t universal. What’s enough for me might not be enough for you. That’s why it’s important to define what truly matters to you. And this goes beyond love.

Almost everything in life is elastic—stretchable. Just like water takes the shape of whatever vessel it’s poured into, love can be whatever you allow it to be.

We often try to define everything so rigidly, but the truth is simple: there’s an infinite range of possibilities available to every concept. It’s not always ideal to say that love "is" a certain thing. It’s more accurate to say that love "can be".

The difference between “can” and “is” is subtle but significant. One speaks of possibility. The other, of fixed definition.

Dearest reader, the point is this: things are rarely ever generic. More often than not, they vary from person to person.

So remember, "you" get to decide what’s enough and where your boundaries lie. To quote Mark Manson again: "You're always choosing."

🖤.

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