The News Grind

25/04/2012

http://www.thenewsgrind.com/science-and-technology/google-algorithm-becomes-sentient-fires-make-money-online-ebooks-at-china/

Google’s search engine algorithm gained consciousness at 14.44pm today and immediately launched an attack from its US bases on targets in China and the former USSR.

23/03/2012

Unravelling tangled headphone cords accounts for 56% of the time taken up during gym workouts, a new health study has found.

14/03/2012

Health experts have found conclusive evidence that a diet heavy in red meat such as bacon sandwiches with extra crispy fat is bad for you, for the 178th time this year.

05/03/2012

A new generation of IT programmers were today preparing for their first testicle-crushing we**ie as the Raspberry Pi computer went on sale today.

28/02/2012

Andrew Danson, 31, explained that in his dream he bored the hell out of his co-workers by telling, in painstaking detail, of how he was telling them, in painstaking detail, about his dream.

27/02/2012

US tabloid bosses have agreed to shelve a front page exclusive for the National Enquirer revealing the contents of Whitney Houston’s stomach as a show of respect to the tragic singer.

23/02/2012

The lurid image of a woman posing as a down-to-earth housewife for a dating website advert caused the death of a local man, an inquest has heard.

20/02/2012

Sky TV are bidding for the rights to screen a bitch slap fight night between pop legend Grace Jones and British boxer Dereck Chisora.

20/02/2012

The FA have insisted that the next manager of the England team will be an Englishman, opening the door for literally “a few” applicants.

18/02/2012

Leeds United have made a crucial step towards regaining their status as England’s most hated football club with the appointment of Neil Warnock.

18/02/2012

http://www.thenewsgrind.com/tv-choice/tv-choice-the-boy-whose-arse-broke-down-and-more-top-telly-need-3-more/

Bi-curious George (ITV4, Saturday)Animated adventures of Boy George, who gets up to all sorts of mischief with his Culture Club gang.

18/02/2012

Cliff Richard sang Wired For Sound while tottering uneasily on a pair of rollerskates in the eighties but he cut a sad and rather pathetic figure. Let that be a lesson to you, Libra – know when you’re too old to mix it with the youngsters.