13/07/2024
An impromptu unedited short that I wrote this afternoon. Enjoy!
Swallow
Everything ends eventually. I guess that when our time comes, not many of us get to reflect on our lives and the bad choices that we made. Right now, I don’t know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. Death is inevitable, and no one here gets out alive. Regrets, I certainly have had a few, well in all honesty, more than I care to remember. Funny how at a time like this, I am singing that old Sinatra song in my head.
I would try and sing the song, but it is pointless there is a gag over my mouth, my hands are tied, and I am waiting for the inevitable to happen. It’s just a matter of time. I will just let that line repeat over and over again in my mind, and I won’t even try to stop it. It could be minutes, or it could be hours, and the fear comes and goes in waves. I don’t want to die. I’m not ready.
If they had covered up my eyes, it would have been a small mercy. I can stand upright, but try as I might, I cannot climb out of this hollow concrete pillar which will become my eventual tomb. I gave up trying to work my binds loose a few hours ago, but as night fell, it became cold in here, and I tried over and over again to work myself free. I can’t get out, no matter what.
There is barely enough room to stand in here, but my legs are aching and my knees are weak. As the night fell, my eyes became heavy and I dropped off asleep from time to time, but the sound of cars in the distance would soon awaken me, or from time to time a wild animal might appear above me. How I envy the freedom that they have. I want to cry, so I do.
As I look up at the night sky above my head, the stars twinkle brightly from somewhere out in the vastness of space. Having this much time to think is unusual, and my thoughts are everywhere right now. I imagine myself out there among the stars, staring back at the Earth. In the grander scheme of things, we are tiny specks of dust, in an infinite amount of plants, across an endless amount of galaxies. It is a miracle that we even exist.
I would tell you what I did wrong, but it seems pretty pointless, as I am just thinking to myself. Was she worth it? That’s difficult to answer now that I know the cost. Would I do it again, if I had my time over? Yes, of course I would, because I’m a fu***ng human being, will all of my stupid fu***ng flaws, and in the heat of the moment, how many of us say no? We are weak, we are too proud, too selfish and too easily tempted by something that feels too good to be true.
I could say that I am sorry for what i’ve done, but I would only be lying to myself. I can lie to others, but the truth always stays inside. Those guilty little secrets never go away. Yes you can bury them in the back of your mind, but they always find a way to come back out from behind those doors, that can never be locked. For those who will say I deserve this fate, I can only wonder if any of us without sin? I just need to close my eyes for a while, but I do not sleep for long.
When I open up my eyes, I can barely see the walls of this makeshift sell, but I sense that the night will soon turn to morning, and the light of day might bring a little comfort at least. My bladder has been full for hours, and despite trying to hold it back, urine streams out, forcing itself to find pathways into my jeans, and soaking me. I can smell the p**s and it makes me want to vomit, but if I do, then I will probably choke. There is still a slim chance that I may be found.
For the first time in forever, I notice my breathing. I inhale the scent of the morning, as the light replaces the darkness above. My chest expands and contracts, and I breathe, just as I did in the first moments that I entered this world. Innocent, pure, and only craving my mothers love. God I miss my parents. Soon I will breathe my last, and I know my mother would be disappointed in me. My father would see that I followed in his footsteps. Yes, we were both f**k ups in life Dad!
In the distance I can hear the sound of a vehicle as it draws near. I make myself stand as tall as I can, and jump a few inches into the air in a futile gesture to become visible. I make as much noise as I can, and my muffled cries echo up through the hollow chamber. For a few moments, I have hope, and hope is a powerful thing, but when all hope it taken away, it destroys your soul. As I look up, I see the man who placed me here, and he is smiling. The end is nigh.
To add insult to injury, or possibly just as a warning to her, the man makes his wife look down at my beaten face. How pitiful I must looked to her. Gagged and bound, and stinking of day-old urine through my sodden jeans. She mouths something to me in silence.
“I’m sorry.” At least I think that’s what it was? My f**ked up mind can’t help but send an awful thought to overwrite the image. “She said I’m h***y. She’s turned on by what is about to happen to you, and she’s going to home and f**k her husband’s brains out. You were just a toy she used to spice up her s*x life with him.”
“Shut the f**k up!” I shout inside my head at my messed up brain.
The woman moves away from the edge and a chute is placed over the top of this hollowed-out motorway bridge support. With a press of a button, the flow begins and I step back in horror as the wet concrete begins to land around my feet. Within ten seconds, my feet are covered. I have minutes left alive on this Earth, and I feel afraid. I look up with pleading eyes, hoping that the woman’s husband might have pity on me. He waves goodbye to me, and stands in place while the concrete covers my knees.
The weight of the concrete is far heavier than I expected, and it begins to crush my legs. My body instinctively tries to move, and I find it impossible to lift my feet.
“F**k you!” I shout from beneath my gag, knowing full well that the man above will not know or care what I am saying. The concrete reaches my chest and starts to force the air from my body, and I begin to gasp for air as my ribs begin to bend.
The concrete soon reaches my mouth, and enters my nose. I have no choice but to allow it to enter my body, and I swallow it down, until I can swallow no more. One day they may find my body. Maybe it will be perfectly preserved like one of those old sacrificial figures they found buried in peat or frozen in ice? Perhaps in the future, they will have the technology to clone my d.n.a, and bring me back? I accept my fate, as I close my eyes and start to dream.
