The Mammalian Daily

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The Mammalian Daily The Mammalian Daily is satire in newspaper form. The Mammalian Daily is a satirical newspaper. It is not a newspaper about animals and their lives.

The animals in the newspaper (and their concerns) represent the issues of our time. Think of reading it as holding up a mirror to our lives … maybe a distorted mirror, like the ones in the fun house.

OTD in 2016—DWBS to Archons, PFO: Increase aid to immigrants, domestication survivorsWhen the Dept. of Well-Being and Sa...
27/06/2025

OTD in 2016—DWBS to Archons, PFO: Increase aid to immigrants, domestication survivors

When the Dept. of Well-Being and Safety encouraged the Archons and the Park Finance Office to allocate more funding to aid immigrants and the survivors of domestication.

In an open letter to the Archons and to PFO head Valentina Abeja, the DWBS cited alarming statistics that suggest that The Park may soon be home to many tens of thousands of Animals who have either escaped enforced domestication or found themselves homeless after the closing of a number of Human-run zoological parks.
https://www.mammaliandaily.com/breaking-news/otd-in-2016-dwbs-to-archons-pfo-increase-aid-to-immigrants-domestication-survivors

OTD IN 2014—Central Bank reminder: June 28 last day to make pre-estivation depositsThe Central Bank of The Park has issu...
26/06/2025

OTD IN 2014—Central Bank reminder: June 28 last day to make pre-estivation deposits

The Central Bank of The Park has issued a reminder to all Park residents who intend to estivate this Summer: June 28 is the last day that deposits can be made.

And a warning: Many of The Park’s financial institutions offer substantially higher interest rates to hibernators and estivators. But there is a catch, says Uzoma Serval, author of BankWoe.

https://www.mammaliandaily.com/breaking-news/otd-in-2014-central-bank-reminder-june-28-last-day-to-make-pre-estivation-deposits

OTD in 2013—New “Beats of Burden”music fest will aid Park refugeesThe story of how the annual Beats of Burden charity mu...
22/06/2025

OTD in 2013—New “Beats of Burden”music fest will aid Park refugees
The story of how the annual Beats of Burden charity music fest got its name:
“So, we had a meeting at The Draft (the band’s pub) to strategize. Alfredo (Ox, the band’s lead singer) started filling out some forms that we needed and then Haimo (Maultier) noticed he’d left a letter out of the word ‘Beasts,’ so it read, ‘Beats of Burden.’ We all laughed, then we looked at each other and we knew we were all thinking the same thing.”

And that is how the annual “Beats of Burden” Music Festival was born.

https://www.mammaliandaily.com/breaking-news/otd-in-2013-new-beats-of-burdenmusic-fest-will-aid-park-refugees

OTD in 2015—Lottery will decide who gets tickets to Barkettes’ free Memorial Pond concertIn a joint statement, the promo...
20/06/2025

OTD in 2015—Lottery will decide who gets tickets to Barkettes’ free Memorial Pond concert

In a joint statement, the promoter, Iglu Entertainment, and the group’s manager, Hilde Blaft, said the decision to hold a lottery for the tickets rather than sell them on a first-come, first-served basis was made “to add a degree of fairness to the process.”

“The event will be a very emotional one for us in The Park and we felt that adding a rush for tickets would make it even more emotional for those who wish to attend. As a result, we have taken the decision to hold a lottery for the tickets, which are free of charge,” the statement said.

https://www.mammaliandaily.com/breaking-news/otd-in-2015-lottery-will-decide-who-gets-tickets-to-barkettes-free-memorial-pond-concert

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