Andy Huggins

06/02/2025

Good stuff with the Htown homeys
Love you

04/10/2024

Andy Huggins =>
"I’m not saying I’m old, but I remember when the Dead Sea was just sick."
"I’ve been married so long, I can’t remember what it was like to be single… but I can definitely remember what it was like to be miserable."
"I don’t know if I’m getting older or just getting more tired of people."
"The secret to a happy marriage is to never listen to each other’s problems. Just keep nodding and pretending you care."
"I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure."

04/10/2024

Andy Huggins
"I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug."
"I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do."
"I told my therapist I had trouble making decisions. She said, 'You want me to help with that?'"
"I bought a 2012 car, and now it’s 2024. It’s the oldest thing I own. I feel like I’m living in a history museum."
"I don’t believe in miracles. I believe in awkward pauses."

03/10/2024

Andy Huggins..
"I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high—she looked surprised!"
"I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands."
"My therapist says time heals all wounds, so I just need to wait out my bad haircut."
"I’m on a whiskey diet—I’ve lost three days already!"
"I asked my dog what’s two minus two. He said nothing."

03/10/2024

Andy Huggins=>
"I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug!"
"I have a friend who's a chronic procrastinator. He just got a medal for finishing last… next week."
"My doctor said I need to watch my drinking, so now I drink in front of a mirror."
"I finally decided to stop procrastinating. But then I thought, 'Why rush into anything?'"
"I asked my computer for a joke, and it froze. Guess it needed a byte!"

01/10/2024

30/09/2024

Andy Huggins=>

"I’m not saying I’m lazy, but I’ve got a special place on my couch just for me."
"I wanted to lose weight, so I went to the doctor. He told me to eat less and move more. I said, 'Can I eat more and move less instead?'"
"I tried to exercise, but I kept getting distracted by my own reflection."
"They say laughter is the best medicine—unless you’re laughing at the doctor."
"I put my money where my mouth is, but it turns out my mouth has expensive tastes."

30/09/2024

Andy Huggins =>
"I told my doctor I broke my arm in two places; he told me to stop going to those places."
"My love life is like a bad movie—full of plot twists and no happy ending."
"I once asked my cat what he was thinking. He just stared at me like I was the weird one."
"I tried to start a dating service for chickens, but it was just too fowl."
"You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

29/09/2024

Andy Huggins=>
"Life's a lot like stand-up: you never know what’ll get a laugh until you try it."
"The hardest part of comedy? Remembering the punchline when your brain's busy buffering."
"If you can't laugh at yourself, you’re missing the best punchline of all."
"Every crowd has its own rhythm; it’s my job to find the beat before they check their watches."
"They say misery loves company, but I think it just wants a better opener."

28/09/2024

I'm Andy Huggins, a seasoned comedian with a knack for finding humor in everyday life. After years on the comedy circuit, I've honed my craft, delivering sharp observations and relatable anecdotes. My goal is to make you laugh while reminding us all not to take life too seriously!

28/09/2024

=>Andy Huggins:

"I finally figured out what’s wrong with my car; it’s got a flat sense of humor!"

"I don’t need a therapist; my dog and I have a great understanding."

"I asked for a raise, and my boss offered me more responsibilities—what a twist!"

"I joined a gym, but my favorite exercise is still a cross between a lunge and a crunch: lunch!"

"I told my friends I’d be there in five minutes—turns out that’s my new definition of 'fashionably late'!"

28/09/2024

Sure! Here are some funny quotes inspired by Andy Huggins’ style:

"I told my doctor I needed a check-up. He said, 'You’re fine! Just stop Googling your symptoms.'"

"Age is just a number—unless you’re trying to get into a club."

"My diet is like a software update: I keep ignoring it, hoping it’ll fix itself."

"I finally found the perfect exercise: running late!"

"They say laughter is the best medicine. Good thing I’m allergic to real doctors!"

17/08/2024

19/07/2024