26/05/2025
Do you know? 🤔
Samson was so strong that while soldiers were waiting to shoot at unarmed protesters, he would have uprooted the whole Lekki toll gate on his shoulders and jogged with it to Okrika.
Strong man. The soldiers would come and start arguing among themselves if they missed their way.
So strong that while others went hunting for rabbits and antelopes with guns, he'd casually stroll into a forest in Mbaise and walk out with a lion on his shoulders.
The people were happy. Finally, a man had come to deliver them from this wicked government.
Then Oga Samson met Aunty Delilah the Instagram Slay queen from Kalabari with 2 million followers.
The government in power-who had been looking for a way to capture Samson after he single handedly overpowered and flogged fifty armed soldiers and seized their uniforms-had struck a deal with Delilah.
'We can see that Samson is so into you, we don't know his weak points, he's always loving and commenting on your pictures. Get him for us.'
After spending the weekend at his place, Delilah invited him over for movie night at hers. 'Let's Netflix and chill' she said. 🤗
Samson tied his dreads neatly and wore his favorite shoe from Nobs HuB to her place. Ten minutes later, his head had found a place of rest on her laps. 😋
'So Samsonny darling, why are you this strong, I watch your gym videos on tiktok and it's just wow. What's the secret?.'
Samson laughed and said it's hard work. 😏
'So what can one do to overpower you like this. This your power no be here oh. Odogwu!' 🙄
Samson blushed and lied.
'If you feed me with quality doughnuts and snacks, and wash it down with Hollandia, I will be a goner.' Hollandia wey be 2k now? Abeg Hollamdia, replied Delilah as they both laughed hard.
Delilah rushed to tell the government. They gave her enough money to prepare the meal and bring him down, but as a Slay queen, she couldn't cook. Pure Vine Confectionery vendor came to her rescue.
Samson ate, cleaned mouth and as the soldiers came to arrest him, he gave them the beating of their lives and their minds touch ground.
The next weekend, he told her his weak point was being treated to a full bowl of Ibigo's fisherman soup and fufu that has never been tasted by any customer.
He ate well and this time, the soldiers were stripped naked and sent back crying.
Over and over again, he kept lying and using style to enjoy himself maximally. 😁
On her birthday, as he laid on her thigh, she gave him a kiss on his ear lobes and Oga Samson lost control. 🤦🏾♂
'Samson, so this time, are you going to tell me the truth?' She gave him another kiss on his ear lobe.
Mumu button was activated and he began to spill.
'Didi love, you see this my dada, the day clipper touch am, I don be ordinary man.' She could see the sincerity in his eyes and as he fell asleep, she gave him a perfect gorimakpa shave.
Then she flashed the people waiting outside.
'Are you sure this time it's real, we are allergic to beating o.' 😏
She assured them it was real.
The full battalion broke into the room and woke Samson up. Oga woke up and wanted to start dealing with soldiers as usual but one heavy slap sent him to the ground.
They beat him like a thief in Mile 1 (Diobu) and disfigured his face.
Delilah smiled as the credit alert hit her phone. She would wait patiently for the next 'strong man' to neutralize. She always delivered.
One man down! 🤦🏾♂
