Shay Rowbottom (2025)

12/05/2025

Always a good time 😏🏝️

18/04/2025

Today I ran a mile in 6:40.

Funny thing is—I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been at almost 160 lbs.

Yeah, bulk season is real.

But forget the Florida views and humble brag for a second and let me tell you the pain it took to get here.

When drugs no longer work.
When men no longer work.
When LI no longer works…

I work.

I need exercise to function. Mentally. Emotionally. Spiritually.

I put in mad discipline the past couple years destroying as much as I possibly could that was distracting me from my pain.

I gave up drinking. W**d (which I’d been attached to since 14). Dating. Even the virality of social media.

Even my own company.

Because even success can be a distraction from healing.

All addicts end up at the gym.

Since moving back to Orlando, I hired a trainer again.
He had me running laps. I clocked a 7:08 mile in the first 2 weeks.

Today, he challenged me to hit 6:30.

Close enough. 😆

My best mile time ever was 6:34 when I ran cross country in high school.

I was 17.
That’s 15 years ago.

Last year I did a VO2 Max test that tested my biological age as 19.

The point is - people can look at a girl like me and think I got lucky. PAH! -

I GET IT’S EASIER TO THINK THAT!!

Sorry, it’s not at all the case.

My success in life has been directly correlated to my ability to ENDURE. PAIN!

You think I don’t wanna veg out, eat ice cream, smoke, hook up? Of course I do. And the pleasure-seeking ran deep.

But eventually, you get tired of your own BS. Of limiting your own potential. Of dumbing yourself down to make others around you more comfortable about their own lazy ass life.

F*ck that.

I wanna be great. and if fitting in isn’t gonna get me there, I’m not gonna fit in. I wanna be 42 testing age 29 on the Vo2Max. (or younger!)

It’s not about vanity.
It’s about longevity.

I owe that to myself, looks are a bonus.

How’s your heart?
Your digestion?
Your energy?

These will all be markers to you as to how legit your wellness routine actually is.

& for me?

I’m about to break my fastest mile time ever, 15 𝘠𝘌𝘈𝘙𝘚 𝘓𝘈𝘛𝘌𝘙!! as a 32 y/o... faster than I ran at age 17.

& that’s the real drug.

24/02/2025

“𝘐𝘧 𝘐 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘨𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘐’𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘤...”

Advice on this from a self-proclaimed, highly narcissistic woman ↓

First off all -

NOTHING makes a better blogger than someone who is self centered. actually this quality will make it so that you not only are more likely to stay consistent with your posts, as you feed off the energy / attention from others...

but there’s also a quality a lot of narcissistic people have that often gets flipped on its head.

Being hyper attuned to:

• what people think
• how they perceive you

It’s actually a SUPERPOWER!

Not a weakness.

It can really come in handy in other areas, if you let it.

Wanting to be seen, even getting energy off of the crowd is your sign that you were meant to grow a brand. Especially when you’re able to dig deep, get vulnerable, and share what’s truly on your heart. Now take that raw & relatable content, and merge it with the many filtration systems your brilliant mind so creatively constructed all your life...

BOOM 💥

Pro blogger status.

(& in case you didn’t notice, this is exactly what I’ve been doing for 6 years).

Self obsession + vulnerability + filtration system = fire content 🔥

To sum up,

If you’re worried about being seen as narcissistic, there’s a good chance you actually ARE and haven’t learned to integrate / love that side of yourself yet.

IMO the people that will shame and bully you for “just wanting attention” are always, 𝘢𝘭𝘸𝘢𝘺𝘴 secretly wishing they could put themselves out there like that too.

I used to let it bother me, now I just agree with them.

Next. ✌️

15/02/2025

Happy Valentines Day to all of the single, independent, hardworking women out there who can’t find a man.

Are we lonely?

Yes.

Do we settle?

No.

Do we love cats&dogs?

Yes,

yes we do :) 🐾

AND-

all of this is okay!

I know days like today may be another slightly depressing reminder that, yet another year has gone by and here you are...

alone.

Still working your butt off at either your high-pressure job or busy putting out fires in your own business, which I know you worked so hard to build.

I see you Mami.
You’re not alone.

I know you get questioned by friends & family about why you’re still unmarried, childless, and alone. I know you are sick of defending yourself when they doubt your genuine desire to focus more on yourself, your career, or your business than settle down and start a family. Which - let’s face it:

it will take one HELL OF A GUY to pull you away from what you’re doing to make you even consider!

You’re not going to settle just for the sake of Grandma’s satisfaction to have a newborn again in her arms, or a flashy wedding photo of you looking like a princess she can share around whatever country or book club she’s currently growing old in.

But you’ve felt the temptation, and you’ve doubted yourself. Yet, you see girlfriends that gave up on their dreams & did settle for that man... and you bite your tongue as you witness their relationship go down the tubes and motherhood become the stark awakening they were not at all picturing.

But hey...

at least Grandma got those photos.

To all of the hardworking women out there doing it on their own this Valentine’s Day - who chose themselves day after day, week after week, year after year...

I know it gets lonely.

But the wait is so worth it.

Don’t settle for just any man... 𝘄𝗵𝗼 𝗶𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁.

This is not a bitter, anti-masculine, men-hating feminist rant.

Quite the contrary.

This is simply a reminder to those out there, both men & women, that there’s an elite class of Alpha females in today’s society who, while shocking to many...

may still find themselves single.

& that’s okay.

Hopefully this post helps you understand why.

13/02/2025

I spent last summer detoxing from men.

Alone on an island.
Long walks.
Fasting.

My energy restored & I felt my fields totally cleared.

I find myself in the same positions I was 9 months ago.
Clearing what was started again since the past 8.
I hadn’t felt like this in almost 9... years.

You brought me a gift.
The gift of time travel.

To go back to what was deeply forgotten. Heart open on the sand, notebook&pen in my hand; desperate to remember. For when the wound was fresh, I was too damaged to process.

Then you appeared.

Suddenly I remember the days so familiar.

So creative yet so logical.
So rigid yet so free spirited.
So driven... so easy to follow.

God I missed this.

What a beautiful mind.

I forgot what love felt like.
I remember why I 𝘀𝗼 𝗱𝗲𝗲𝗽𝗹𝘆 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗱 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨.

At times I’d feel my body clench in anticipation for yours.
Muscle memory. Just deep wounds that clearly had stuck.

To arrive at the point of tension and be met with nothing but love, compromise, and reassurance was the most healing thing I never knew that I needed. The many magical moments I looked into your piercing blue eyes while an avalanche of relief poured over my body as I realized... that. you. actually. aren’t gonna hurt me.

Safety.

Despite the maturity & love I experienced underneath your tall gaze, a feeling I longed for in the long ago past...

differing cores cast an impossible shadow behind us.

We don’t worship the same God.
We don’t want the same things.
We don’t work out... after all.

& just like that, I’m back in solitude.

Oceans away from the oceans of blue I miss in your eyes, while mine create a sea of their own. Mourning the painful truth, that...

it isn’t you,

𝗲𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿.

I wanted the story to be so.
& that kills me... all over again.

Maybe it’s true what they say, that it’s better to have loved & lost than to never have loved at all.

You,
𝘩𝘪𝘮.

La misma energía en otra forma.

What a long & deep decade it’s been.
He gutted me from the inside out. But you,

you put me back together.

9 years.

Healing.
Gratitude.
Processing.

Oh the beautiful poetic nature of it all.

Both of them were 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦...

yet,

neither of them could be mine.

09/02/2025

I thought about calling you today.

My stomach sinks as I think about it.

A reality I have to sit in. Hopeful many times that my torch led the way for others to follow.

Waiting year after year creates a new kind of hallow.

I’ve learned to let go of any hope this could ever be healed. To accept the truth that it’s just me, on my own battlefield. I’ve searched and I found no curriculum for this kind of torture. Little outside empathy for such a disorder.

No one understands you but me, but ironically-

we can’t talk about it.

𝗛𝗼𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗮𝗿𝗱𝘀.

I know the reason you can’t and I’m sorry. I feel the weight you carry. Your drinking tightening its grip on your soul. Your weakening.

All the while your consciousness sinks and it’s probable you’ll soon be gone completely.

I really should call.

Alzheimers, dementia.

It’s only natural they all come to claim it.
When your entire livelihood depended on...

you
having
to 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘦𝘵.

It’s cognitively exhausted. It wears down and self destruction becomes the only way to keep this secret tucked safely in the dark corners of the psyche.

You never thought that one day...

I’d grow up & regain access to mine.

A red pill I can never take back. An infinite oscillation between gratitude for such valuable context, and regret for the mountains of agony that haunt me.

𝗮𝗹𝗼𝗻𝗲.

I really thought about calling.

But the energy of fear in my body that followed has swallowed me whole.

There goes my weekend.
One thought, and I’m still terrified.

Terrified just like that 6 year old girl, threatened yet dependent. Create an environment of fear.

It worked.

But I’m not 6 anymore.
The better odds are that, today...

𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗮𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝗲.

Still, my body is stuck and I can’t find the strength. I suppose I’ll embrace the pain brought up through this brave consideration.

Maybe that’s all I’m meant to feel...

For now.

I thought about calling.

But I’m trapped in the very programming you once so perfectly sculpted, while you... grow old & lonely.

The karma you live with.

It’s not the pain of the abuse.
It’s the pain that, we’re alive...

and you made it so I can’t even call.

17/01/2025

Chamonix. ⛰️

It’s true what they say…

Mountains are the best teachers.

Grateful for my time here and for all the growth, lessons, and blessings.

It’s quite an experience to be very happy out here exploring, learning new things about myself, the world…

and also at the same time quite homesick.

Over one month gone now and it’s getting to me. Cried FaceTiming my cat last night… will be grateful to finally make it home but still excited for what’s left of my trip here.

A few more weeks to go!

Can you guess where I’m off to next? 😏

☀️

13/01/2025

I was eating out at an authentic Romanian restaurant...

when THIS happened 🤣

so much fun, and I miss the cheesy polenta already!

Thank you Coliba Haiducilor and my Romanian Queen, Andreea Bălan, for the amazing and spontaneous experience. These are the priceless bits I cherish when it comes to traveling.

Grateful for my life, my freedom,
and every magical moment. ✨

More yet to come... 😊

☀️

03/01/2025

𝗖𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗳𝘀 𝗼𝗳 𝗠𝗼𝗵𝗲𝗿.

My guy told me to ditch Giants Causeway and so I learned that instead,

𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 is the far better "wonder of the world...." !!

I suppose,

locals know best. 😉

☀️ 🍀

Shay Rowbottom

12/05/2025

18/04/2025

24/02/2025

15/02/2025

13/02/2025

09/02/2025

17/01/2025

13/01/2025

03/01/2025

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