08/09/2025
Last summer I got denied buying a 2nd home and ended up in the keys.
It was one of the most challenging times of my life.
Suddenly alone on an island, with no idea why God led me down here.
To think that same villa I rented last year which I couldn't wait to get out of, a villa in which I had the worst insomnia of my life, detoxed kratom, blew through 3 journals and processed so much while feeling lost and alone...
I'd end up willingly booking again, and coming back to this summer.
Whole different energy.
This island saves me. I think when I'm down here, "why don't I just stay?"
I grew up in extremely psychotic circumstances so that my body never knew what safety felt like. I have always lived my life on high alert. My drug of choice, aside from actual mind-altering substances... has actually always been to CONTROL.
I think things through 500 times.
I consider the feelings, thoughts, and energy of everyone around me.
I learned to take it all on as my responsibility.
I was forced to metabolize everyone else's pain,
but nobody ever held mine.
This island holds it.
The level of safety and peace I feel down here is like ecstasy. Not constantly thinking about the next game plan, the next move for self preservation, self protection.
Just BEing.
There's no rush here.
There's no competition.
You can be the sexiest bikini model alive or a scruffy dude w/ a beer belly, either way it doesn't matter. Everyone is treated the same and it's all love.
I always say, if you have issues with anxiety or need a major nervous system reset...
move to the Keys.
At least for a time - it doesn't have to be forever.
But this place will guide you back to parts of yourself you never even knew were safe to exist.
Who knows what the future holds. I suppose it's on me to ground in this nervous system safety, no matter where I physically am in the world. Whether it's the chaos of a big city, or the tranquility of island life...
I do pray I always come back 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 - to this feeling.
& I pray that I carry it with me.
