20/03/2024
There are dozens of recommendations online for curing shyness and forms of social anxiety: breathwork, improving self-confidence, therapy, etc. Those can all be helpful in their own right, but I find that oftentimes, they overlook the heart of the problem for many of us. The fact is, in many social situations, when we’re feeling self-conscious or shy, the problem is that we’re focusing on ourselves.
‘Will I say the right thing?’, ‘What if I embarrass myself?’, ‘I feel so awkward.” We’re fixated on how others will perceive us and what they’ll think about us.
But the reality is, others are just as focused on themselves as you tend to be on yourself. But what would your experience be like, if instead of thinking about yourself, you directed your attention to how other people are feeling? Imagine going to a party, and instead of thinking about what people will think about you, you see someone off in a corner and think, “How can I make them feel included?” Or you’re in a conversation and consider, “How can I learn more about them?”. When you’re thinking about others and their experience, you can’t also think about yourself and how awkward you feel.
This is the key to social grace.
Read this article to discover the simple perspective shift that will help you overcome shyness and anxiety in social settings: https://thewomansway.org/its-not-about-you-overcoming-self-consciousness/
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