19/12/2022
You’re allowed to doubt love.
Jack and my love story wasn’t —> boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love and get married.
Our love story was —> boy meets girl, boy likes girl, girl is confused, girl rejects boy twice, boy is sad, girl is doubtful, girl realized she misses boy, girl likes boy, boy never stopped liking girl.
I don’t know if you picked up on that, but I rejected Jack… twice. 🙄
I felt so confused about whether we should date. Jack was the unexpected. He was so unlike any guy I had dated in the past. He was different, but good-different. More kind and genuine than any other person. And yet still different from “the person” I imagined marrying in my mind. It took time for me to discover that I wanted to choose him as my husband and to hear that God wanted this choice too! And yet - despite my doubt- God made sure we ended up together.
Your doubt isn’t going to destroy your love story.
(Re-read that!)
I bless you with faith to trust God in doubt that arises in the unexpected. Sure, there will for sure be things you can expect about your future spouse (ie godliness, kindness, genuineness, etc). But then there are some things that are unexpected (ie his job, whether he’s introverted, the way he looks, etc). God is full of surprises and your spouse will have “surprise” attributes that complement you well. Remember, my friend, God knows you better than you know yourself.
It’s okay (and even healthy) to doubt whether the person you date is whom you’ll marry. So my dear one, give yourself permission to doubt.
Your doubt is evidence of how much you care about making a good decision. But be sure to bring your doubt first to God. Sit in your doubt. Ask your doubt questions. Journal and pray through it. And from this place, your faith with strengthen. My spiritual mentor says “doubt is faith on its way home”. Some of my most intimate, real conversations with Christ about Jack started with doubt.
Each love story is unique. Some people know at first glance, some know months later, and some (like me 🙋🏼♀️) change their minds multiple times- but God’s will still overcome my doubt. God’s plans are far bigger than your confusion and doubt!
