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Just your reminder that you can have everything you asked for and still struggle mentally.2025 has given me Ayda, and fo...
01/01/2026

Just your reminder that you can have everything you asked for and still struggle mentally.

2025 has given me Ayda, and for that I am eternally grateful, but with that I have felt my mental health deteriorate and I have been the lowest I have felt in nearly 8 years.

Everyone says that going from 1-2 is much easier than 0-1, and when that can’t the case with us it was a massive shock! Bonding took a lot longer, and because of Ayda’s issues she has spent a LOT of time distressed and in pain which I became quite resentful of. Now we know what is going on and now I’m getting the grips with being a mum of 2, it’s becoming easier but my god it has been a journey!

Despite the struggles, I’m looking forward to going into 2026. This will be the year that I learn more about myself and focus on becoming the healthiest version of myself. Not just for me, but for my girls ❤️

Happy new year everyone

Merry Christmas from my family to yours ❤️P.s a bit of reality here, but it took about 100 photos to find ONE where we w...
24/12/2025

Merry Christmas from my family to yours ❤️

P.s a bit of reality here, but it took about 100 photos to find ONE where we were all looking/looked happy. And all of that whilst herbie was frantically barking at us (yet refused to sit in the photo 😂)

Christmas days out in the south-west📍 Liskeard, Cornwall Guess what? I failed miserably at Vlogmas 😂 missed one day and ...
14/12/2025

Christmas days out in the south-west

📍 Liskeard, Cornwall

Guess what? I failed miserably at Vlogmas 😂 missed one day and then that’s it, all over!

Anyway, we went to yesterday and it was absolutely amazing 😍 I honestly felt like I was in a winter wonderland. What was even more amazing was that In one of the caverns they also had a Christmas market going on. There’s something that feels extra special about it all being underground!

Yesterday we went to which was absolutely magical 😍I can’t believe I’ve never heard of this place before, but I’ll defi...
14/12/2025

Yesterday we went to which was absolutely magical 😍

I can’t believe I’ve never heard of this place before, but I’ll definitely be returning

Credit to for some of these photos

08/12/2025

Yesterdays antics - a trip to the in-laws and to see the Torquay illumination trail, which I definitely recommend if you’re in the area. What’s even better is that it is free!!

06/12/2025

Vlogmas day 4

Our weekly visit to big Tesco and continuing with the Christmas decorating.

But honestly, why do I always feel like I have more time than I actually do when it comes to getting stuff done at the weekend?!

05/12/2025

It’s fridayyyyyyy, not that it makes a difference to me, everyday is a weekend over here at the moment 😂

Today I got a steroid injection in my hand for my carpal tunnel, which won’t last forever, but until I can get my surgery it is a temporary fix. And I’ll take anything for the feeling to come back in my fingers so I can actually use them again!!

04/12/2025

Wowsas, I actually managed to follow through with a day 2 😂

Does anyone else’s town do a Christmas tree festival? It’s one of my favourite things to do at Christmas time ❤️

03/12/2025

Ok so I’m already late in starting Vlogmas, and I’ll probably forget about it come tomorrow but that’s beside the point 😂

The MASH highchair was gifted and is an absolute life saver - Ayda doesn’t generally like being put down, but she will happily sit in here. Probably because she likes to see what I’m doing etc. obviously every newborn is different, but I 100% recommend this to any pregnant mama or mums with newborns!



P.s if you happen to watch this and are feeling generous, your washer pro would be my ultimate Christmas present 😂

December is finally here which means…Christmas month!!So we kicked it off by visiting , where we got to meet Santa, watc...
01/12/2025

December is finally here which means…Christmas month!!

So we kicked it off by visiting , where we got to meet Santa, watch a nativity, cuddle all the animals and go on a Christmas tractor ride (to name a few things)

Definitely a Devon Christmas must do ❤️

When you have children you are wired to believe that as soon as they make their way into this world you’ll get this mass...
28/11/2025

When you have children you are wired to believe that as soon as they make their way into this world you’ll get this massive rush of love for them, so when this doesn’t happen you feel like maybe there is something wrong with you.

It has taken me over 8 weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I would look at Ayda and think she was cute, but she didn’t feel like she was mine. I was going through the motions, changing, feeding, bathing, but I just felt like I was looking after someone else’s child. Then last week I looked at her and thought “aww I love you”.

My mother-in-law said to me a few weeks in “I bet you can’t imagine a world without her now” and my immediate answer was “I can”, and then realised that maybe this isn’t something that I should say out loud.

This confused me, as when I had Edie I felt the love straight away so when it didn’t happen this time around, I felt so much guilt.

I started seeing the perinatal mental health team and spoke about this, and they made me realise that sometimes it can take time, especially when you have experienced trauma. We didn’t get our immediate skin to skin, which may seem minor, but actually makes a massive difference. I also couldn’t really hold her for a couple of days after she was born due to my own physical health deteriorating, so the immediate bonding didn’t really happen. Add in a colicky baby and some postnatal depression as well, which has ultimately meant that we’ve had to work at it. But we are getting there. And guess what? I can no longer imagine a world without her.

If this sounds like you, you aren’t alone ❤️ it doesn’t make you a bad parent, it just means it can take a little bit longer!

A couple of weeks ago my brother came over to take some photos for me. To say both kids weren’t playing ball is an unde...
07/11/2025

A couple of weeks ago my brother came over to take some photos for me. To say both kids weren’t playing ball is an understatement, but we did manage to get this shot that I am obsessed with 😍

We will try again in the next couple of weeks (hopefully) but with Ayda being more alert I sense it may be even harder than the first attempt 😂

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