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23/11/2018

5 Kinds of House Guests Nobody Wants to Have

Visiting someone soon? Here are a few tips to help you leave a good impression in the mind of your host.

Sometimes, people invite family members and friends over to their homes and end up regretting it because of toxic behavior and nuances.

When we travel out of our familiar environment, we very often want to visit our friends or family members - especially when the visit is brief.

You may be attending a business meeting, training programme, conference, social event or whatever.

You may be visiting home for Christmas or attending a relative's wedding...
..Opportunities to visit new places always abound and that's usually the best time to play catch up with friends, family members or even aquaintances.

You may want to stay with a friend's friend...just to save up on bills or just because the family resides in the same location as your event, etcetera..

Whatever it is, it is your responsibility to put up your best behaviour and leave pleasant memories behind...

Just before I share the tips on how to leave the right impression with your host...

Here are a few types of guests, people would rather not have:

1. The Unruly Guest

Ever had a house guest that was tardy, unruly and untidy?

Being an unruly guest is bad. Period!
It suggests that you have no home training.

Being unruly means being "disorderly and disruptive and not amenable to discipline or control".

In every house you visit, there will be obvious or silent codes of conduct.

You must be observant. Notice the trend. Observe the pattern.

Imagine smoking in non-smoking neighborhood? That'll be offensive to your neighbours and could put your host in a bad light, see?

Your host may endure your visit the first time but, will be very reluctant to host you again.

2.The Thief

Pilfering things anywhere is bad.
It's worse when you're repaying evil for good.
Keep your hands to yourself and always ask for permission before taking anything.

You want an apple from the fridge? Courtesy demands that you ask for it politely...

Be considerate and be content!

3. The Destroyer

Having a guest that leaves a wake of 'destruction' is not something pleasant.

Have you ever hosted visitors who were careless and destructive?

They damaged your new appliances, electronic gadgets, utensils, bathroom faucets, etcetera...and didn't even have the courtesy to apologize!

Appalling, to say the least!

4. The Quarrelsome, Malice Keeper

Fancy that?

You visit a family member or friend. They're gracious enough to open their doors to you and you repay their favour by quarrelling with them?

How absolutely absurd!

It doesn't matter what the situation is, you must comport yourself and if need be suffer wrong but, always leave the house in a better state than you found it.

Leaving your host with pleasant memories is a mark of honour and maturity!

5. The Liability

Again, be observant.

Especially in African homes, there are certain chores you'll be expected to share in...if you're being hosted.

Be responsible and initiative.

Perhaps you have a very tight schedule, then why not take care of the groceries and lighten the load on their expenses?

Don't just breeze in and breeze out. Be deliberate about leaving a memorable experience in the minds of your host.

Even if they are super affluent, they'll appreciate little gifts and meaningful gestures.

The rule is...

Be observant to know what each family deems important and make your visit worthwhile and unforgettable!

Yvonne Ebbi,
Image & Social Intelligence Expert

19/11/2018

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Having a business meeting over lunch or dinner?

Who pays for the meal?

Ever been in that tacky situation, where you've just concluded a business meeting over lunch and it's unclear who should pay for the meal or pick the bills?

Whether it's an existing client, a prospective client or a work colleague...

The question is:
Who really should pick the bills??

The standing rule remains that if you are the host...if you extended the invitation to the guests...then, it's your responsibility to pick up the bills.

It's also your bit to inform the waiters ahead of time who will pick the bills.

Imagine a scenario where you are the host of a business lunch but, forgot to inform the waiter that you're the host...

Lunch is over and you need to use the restroom.
The waiter brings the bill and places it before one of the guests.
The guests doesn't understand this action but, has a reputation to protect.

Your bathroom adventure is taking a bit of time and the guest pays for the meal and takes his leave.

You return from your expedition just to find out they one of your guests who is actually a high profiled, prospective, client has paid for the meal and has taken his leave!

It's awkward and might ruin the business relationship...

Also, if the project being discussed is to your advantage or in your favour, you might want to offer to pick the bills. But, if the other party insists on picking the bills, that's okay. Don't make a fuss!

It works both ways, see?

If you invite your colleagues for lunch, the bill is on you unless you agree to split the bill or have each person pay for his or her own meal.

Splitting the bill or having each person pay for his/her meal is usually done with people you are familiar with...people you're down with... Friends.

Usually, friends wouldn't feel awkward suggesting a double Dutch or bill split.

So, calling for a lunch or dinner meet up? The bill is on you...
..Except of course, you're meeting up with people you're familiar with and who wouldn't mind picking or sharing the bill. Even then, it's yours responsibility to ensure that the bill is paid smoothly.

Don't invite someone for a business lunch or dinner and let the awkward moment hang.

If the guest offers or insists on picking the bills. No worries!

But, know for certain that if you extended the invitation, the bill is on YOU!

I hope you seal a lot of business deals as you enjoy your lunch or dinner dates this season.

Yvonne Ebbi
Your Image & Social Intelligence Expert

16/11/2018

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Wedding Reception Guest
Survival 101: How to avoid being cranky or angry when Refreshments don't get to you promptly at a wedding reception.

Ever been to a wedding reception hungry...so much so that you were angry at the hosts for delaying the refreshments?

If you attend such occasions regularly, chances are that this scenario may have played out a couple of times!

How do you prevent this sort of situation from bringing out the worst in you?

Perhaps, in the past, you've been angry, impolite and even outrightly cranky, yes?

You've probably heard about the joke where someone was passed over when sumptuous food was finally being served at a wedding reception...

Or even been unlucky to be on a table where the waiter politely announced that the food had just finished...just when you were about to be served!!

What would you do in such a situation?

Some people get to a wedding reception and really want to eat..especially in Nigeria where weddings are a real treat.

So, you're hungry and running late for the wedding reception of your childhood friend.
You cannot wait to grab a bite at home...as time is running out and you don't want to miss any part of the wedding reception.

It's a high profiled wedding and you plan to eat well...at the reception.

Sometimes, this is where the problem lies...

ETIQUETTE TIP:

I'd recommend that you endeavour to eat something at home before attending such occasions.

The same advice applies when you're invited for a formal lunch or dinner.

You don't have to fill your tummy at home...as you'll still need to enjoy the expected refreshment from your host - but, don't go to a function starving.
Eat something...even a snack will do.

The point is that hunger is a strong sensation and a valid one too..so, it must be guided.

Don't let hunger create an opportunity for you to embarrass yourself!

Even a snack will do.

Then you can enjoy the real essence of those outings: meeting new people, networking and reuniting with old friends.

These days, great deals are sealed at social occasions.

So, go prepared...

Eat something at home

Dress impressively.

Be current and ready to discuss topics of interest - news items, trends, etc.

Your presentation is key. Not just what you say but, how you say it. Your diction, enunciation are very important.

Your manners play a huge role too, in creating the right impression.

Are you considerate, empathetic and courteous?

Bring all these positive vibes to the table, this festive season and enjoy the outcome!

Yvonne Ebbi,
Your Image and Social Intelligence Expert

07/05/2018

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Is there any way or method one can use to stop himself from involuntary actions that aren't socially suitable in public? For example, picking one's nose in public or scratching some parts of the body that ought not to be touched in public.

- Ukara, Ikot Ekpene

My Response:

What will guarantee proper public conduct?
Practice. Practice. Practice

There'll be some slips but, with practice , you'll master the art of getting rid of toxic traits. So, be patient with yourself as you stumble through managing a professional image.
The most important bit, is to be aware of what is acceptable... To be deliberately considerate and civil...and to put your best foot forward. Always!

More specifically, you can pull your nose instead of picking it. You can put your hands in your pocket instead of 'scratching for Africa' or "packing"...
Always have a handkerchief handy because it can cover a multitude of manners and make them look less improper.

Keep practicing good manners as you go out there and even while in your chill zone. Don't forget, practice, practice and practice. Don't worry if you have a few slip up... just keep being conscious and putting your best foot forward.

I hope this answers your question.
Don't hesitate to reach me for more elucidation.

Do have a splendid new week.

Your Image & Social Intelligence Consultant,
Yvonne Ebbi

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If you have an etiquette related question, do send it to [email protected] OR send it via inbox on my page.
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