The Amherst Muck-Rake

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The Amherst Muck-Rake Founded in 1908 and stylishly revitalized under new management after a 104-year hiatus, The Amherst

Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone, John 8:7
12/12/2025

Let he among you who is without sin cast the first stone, John 8:7

This post better blow up
05/12/2025

This post better blow up

Everything might be sort of okay, even for just a little while
02/12/2025

Everything might be sort of okay, even for just a little while

Make sure to ask your relatives about the value of a liberal arts education, the price of groceries, and Zohran Mamdami ...
20/11/2025

Make sure to ask your relatives about the value of a liberal arts education, the price of groceries, and Zohran Mamdami this Thanksgiving

Lock in. You’re welcome?
14/11/2025

Lock in. You’re welcome?

I hope someone will love me like Dean Angie loves her bingo
24/10/2025

I hope someone will love me like Dean Angie loves her bingo

Muckrake’s parents will not be visiting this weekend, choosing to remain anonymous
19/10/2025

Muckrake’s parents will not be visiting this weekend, choosing to remain anonymous

Your Vector Training Plan Details (Deadline: Monday, October 20)
17/10/2025

Your Vector Training Plan Details (Deadline: Monday, October 20)

And by the way, Branzino doesn’t travel well. You should never order it to go.
03/10/2025

And by the way, Branzino doesn’t travel well. You should never order it to go.

Who wants a copy of Jane Eyre when I prefer Angela Davis’s Women, Race, and Class?
24/09/2025

Who wants a copy of Jane Eyre when I prefer Angela Davis’s Women, Race, and Class?

wtf is a mammoth buck
08/08/2025

wtf is a mammoth buck

Congrats class of 2025 ❤️ Now you can add “freelance writer” to your resume
24/05/2025

Congrats class of 2025 ❤️ Now you can add “freelance writer” to your resume

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About The Muck-Rake

Founded in 1908 and stylishly revitalized under new management after a brief, 104-year hiatus, The Amherst Muck-Rake (“The Muck-Rake”) is a satirical, faux-news publication. All of its contents should be regarded as satire; none should be regarded as fact. The Muck-Rake is wholly independent of Amherst College and is not endorsed, authorized, financially or materially supported, or, we assume, appreciated by the trustees, administration, faculty, or staff of the College, or by the College in any other way.

The reader should assume that any individual, including but not limited to the trustees, administration, faculty, staff, students, and any other associates of Amherst College, as well as any other individual, who is named, referenced, mentioned, implied, subtly hinted at through clever literary reference, or otherwise inferred has not consented to the use of his or her name, likeness, or other (potentially) identifying characteristic(s) or information in The Muck-Rake. It is very possible that that individual dislikes this publication.

The Muck-Rake exists entirely to satirize a broad range of topics, including some that the editors of The Muck-Rake may have yet to consider. To reiterate, any and all content within The Muck-Rake is intended as satire, and none of it should be regarded as news or fact.

The Muck-Rake is not affiliated with The Wall Street Journal.