Rock and t'Roll

14/07/2015

Oh I wish we were still broadcasting...

Hundreds of ph***ic s*x toys have been seen hanging in recent days from power lines across Portland, Oregon, provoking laughter, blushing and lots of photos. The large white and bright orange d***o...

13/06/2015

Rock and t'Roll: Forever at the forefront of journalism. (Picture of the front cover of the Independent sports page).

31/05/2015

REPLY FROM NIKE
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Hi Luke

Thank you so much for contacting us. I must say reading through your e-mail was very enjoyable and put a smile on my face. However, this being said, I sadly cannot send out free gifts. This is not a policy we follow or operate. As much as I would like to help you out, I'm afraid on this occasion I cannot.

In reference to your views on previous Nike sponsored athletes, please be assured I have passed your views onto our head office so your opinions will be heard. If there is anything else I can help you with then please feel free to contact me anytime.

Enjoy your day

Keely
Nike.Com

27/05/2015

It's a shame the show doesn't exist anymore, because it would have been the perfect week to try and solicit some bribes from FIFA under the guise of one of our famous sponsorship letters.

24/05/2015

We couldn't resist. This really is it though you miserable cretins.
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Dear Goddess of Victory,

I beseech thee, from my cold flinty heart, to sponsor this, our radio show for the following show. We get thousands of listeners potentially, and feel you could benefit from this. I mean, no-one in the world has heard of Nike right? So yes, if you send us a selection of things (like I support Manchester United winkwinkwink and the Lovely Boy Jonathan would like a Cincinnati Bengals jersey please and thank you) we would say you are the kindest and most bestest sportswear company in the world.

Historically, you have sponsorship deals with athletes who can only be described as being scandal prone. Have you thought about going in an opposite direction, by having two everyday people who are basically squeaky clean, even though we are totally out of shape? Yeah, that's it. Thanks babe/dude cos we aren't s*xist. See, no scandals here!

Email back for delivery information!

Yours with romantic buggery love,

Rock and t'Roll

24/05/2015

After 2 and a half years of expertly amateurish audial misanthropy Rock and t'Roll is going out for the last ever time. Listen in to our elongated special at http://kuberadio.com/listen/

Tune in to Keele University's award winning student radio station! With a variety of shows from pop to alternative, there's something for everyone!

18/05/2015

WARBURTON'S REPLIED
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Dear Luke

Thank you for contacting Warburtons.

We are delighted to hear that you enjoy our products, especially our pancakes.

Everybody working at Warburtons is committed to baking the best quality, freshest products, using the finest ingredients. We do appreciate it when our customers take the time to contact us..

Connect with us on our Facebook and Twitter fan pages to find out about the latest Warburtons competitions, coupons, upcoming new products and fantastic recipe ideas to make all your breakfast and lunch times special.

Web: www.warburtons.co.uk I Facebook: www.facebook.com/warburtons I Twitter:

Kind regards

Sue

Welcome to warburtons! Take a look around our delicious range and you'll see that they're still made with love. From our Family to yours Our Products View Recipes

17/05/2015

THE LAST EVER LETTER. It's been a good run. Sad to see this feature die. If anyone wants to use it, send one of us two a message and an example email. Anyway, it's to Warburtons and they let us send pictures. So we did
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Dear Bread People,

Look, I'll be honest, you were like my 20th choice for this or whatever, but I can't be bothered with that. I well like bread, probbaly too much now I think of it, and pancakes are the best what I 'ave. I usually get weirder here, but you caught me on an off day. Erm....considering last week we quoted Sweet Child O'Mine I think you've got off easier here. I just would love some free bread and next week on our LAST EVER show we'll tell all hundreds of listeners (give or take a hundred) how good you are, and how you're better than those Elvis loving gits at Kingsmill and those yokels at Hovis

Hi, Lovely Boy Jonathan here, co-host of the radio show. To be honest, I'm not a great big bread fan, so I'm going into this with fear. One way you could make this better is by going into a new market of artisinal breads ie get pumpernickel in there cos it'd be ace. You would gain at least an customer.
THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yours with romantic s*xual love,
Rock and t'Roll

PS Isn't Steven Gerrard naff at football? Idiot slipped and lost the title. BANTS INNIT

17/05/2015

The show that is equivalent to listening to paint dry is back for one of the last times. :( or :) (Delete where applicable) Listen in at http://kuberadio.com/

Broadcasting 24/7 during term time, KUBE Radio offers a comprehensive schedule of shows including a range of music, discussion and sports!

10/05/2015

We emailed Games Workshop and it's the weirdest yet
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Dear Mr Workshop,

Me and my radio co-host, the Lovely Boy Jonathan have a radio show and would like some free miniatures from you in return for good publicity. It's free (Except for the stuff). Where do we go from here? Sweet child. Whoa, where do we go now, Sweet child. But yeah. Basically, I would like either some skelingtons from Fantasy, or some Imperial Guard from the other big one, along with paints and things. Jonathan would like evil things from The Hobbit one (He's not so lovely now, is he?!).

If this were to go well, perhaps you could memorialise us two hosts of your favourite student radio show as miniatures, either in one of your existing series, or as the stars of a new line, in which pirates meet pirate radio. Original idea don't steal pls. I mean, why wouldn't you snap up this deal? God knows you need good publicity.

Yours,

Luke from Rock and t'Roll

PS IT IS ALL A FUNNY JOKE HAAHAHAHAHAHA but if you are game (lol) email for delivery information

06/05/2015

Fox's got back to us

Thank you for your recent enquiry

Unfortunately as we receive so many similar requests for sponsorship etc, we have to restrict our support. We regret, therefore, that we are unable to help.

For and on behalf of Fox’s Biscuits
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It's the politest rejection yet I think

03/05/2015

THIS IS MY FAVOURITE ONE YET - A POLITE EMAIL TO FOX'S

Dear Mr Vinnie the Panda,

I really like your delicious tasty treats, especially the party rings what I eat all the time. I see from the back of the packet of biscuits I ate last weekend that you are based in West Yorkshire. That's like totally where we're from, but we do our student radio show in Stoke-on-Trent (I'm being deliberately coy to get you intrigued so you reply and we get dialogue going, unlike PepsiCo who didn't reply. BIT RUDE THAT INNIT?). So yes, this is the deal. Send us a selection of biscuits, and we will be full of praise for you and probably tell people to buy your stuff a bit for a minute.

I do have one question though; why, when your name is Fox's, is your mascot a panda? Specifically, a New Jersey mobster panda? This makes no sense. Have you ever thought of replacing him with two people dressed as foxes? (HINT HINT THAT IS US WHAT THE LOVELY BOY JONATHAN MEANS). Yeah, that's fine. Reply and we can hash this agreement out.

Love from,
Luke from Rock andt'Roll. And Jonathan in his bit