
13/11/2024
The Final Issue is Here...
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation and that is an act of political warfare.”
Audre Lorde
I am putting my hero’s cape down. In fact, I’m burning it. This is not in answer to the latest U.S. election. To be quite honest, I never had faith that my fellow Americans could put their faith in a black woman as a leader. I have seen the works of Ella Baker, Shirley Chisholm, Fannie Lou Hamer, Pauli Murray, Barbara Jordan, Flo Kennedy and Nina Turner. I have seen how they created so much change, not only for their community, but for all people. I have seen them become footnotes or a self-congratulatory moment of your “awareness or goodness” as a person.
Well done if you knew any of them. Moving on.
I have done community work for twenty years. I have given my last dime and stayed up hours to learn and write grants. I have had the privilege of working under the mentorship of some phenomenal women, such as Julia Richard, Patrice Melnick, Adria Gauthier, and Gwen Richard. Over the years I have created Project S.O.U.N.D, an arts integrated education program, worked with Thensted Center creating programs for the youth, and finally Rigorous, an online magazine that celebrates the multiple genres of art by the BIPOC community.
Over the last eight years, Rigorous has been such a blessing for me and a source of joy. It brought wonderful people into my life, especially Kenning JP Garcia. It was a source of joy amidst loving family, mentors and friends. It brought a bright spot amongst long Covid and failed fertility treatments. It was also a highlight among some of my best moments of achieving my MEd, promotions, becoming a foster mother, and finding my forever daughter through the foster care program.
However, this last year has been hard. I lost my stepdaughter, Michaela, to su***de. This September, I had a miscarriage. I find I must now choose my mental health first, and stop working on Rigorous at this time. I’m tired. I need to rest. I choose my self-care. Not the trivialities of fluffy robes or teas. Self-care to take care of my needs so that I may return to my community whole and ready in whatever form that may be.
Thank you for allowing me to love, support and publish you over these years.
Rigorous: A journal by people of color