12/07/2023
Do you know that feeling when you wake up in the middle of the night and it’s cold and your diaper feels heavy. And there are so many strange sounds all around you, and it’s dark and scary. And you get a hit in your head and it’s your hand that’s on its own adventure. And you can’t control it at all and it flings itself around and scratches your face and pulls at your hair. And your legs start kicking off the duvet, even though you’re cold as it is and you try to make it stop but they have their own will. And so you’re lying there completely helpless with flailing limbs that want to do everything, but none of the things you want.
And you can’t find mom. And you call for her and you find yourself feeling really scared. What if your beloved mom doesn’t come for you. You can’t imagine anything worse and you start to cry because you miss her so terribly. You have never felt as alone as this very moment.
And then she is suddenly there. Standing right by your bed and looking at you with worry and love. And she is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen. And you grin up at her with happiness and relief. You don’t think you’ve ever felt as happy as this very moment.
And she picks you up and holds you close. And she smells like herself, and also a bit like you. Like milk and safety and love. And it’s the best smell in the whole entire world.
And she is warm and safe and soft and her hands caress you and she feeds you and hums your favourite tune. And you love her voice. You’ve known it far longer than you’ve really known her. It has lulled you to sleep and made you laugh and calmed you when you were distressed. It is the most beautiful voice in the whole entire world.
And you get to lie right up against her and you feel your entire body start to warm up again. And your still cold hand starts stroking her and moves up towards her neck and accidentally scratches her. Stupid uncontrollable hand. But mom doesn’t get angry. She takes your stupid hand in hers and it turns all warm again. And this is the best feeling in the world. Right here in mommy’s arms, with your hand in hers. Even the diaper doesn’t feel as horrible anymore.
And you feel your eyes getting heavy and you know that everything is okay now cause mommy is here. Your mom. Your wonderful, incredible mom who always looks after you. Night and day.
You look up at her one last time before you fall asleep. She looks tired and her eyes are closed, and yet she is still the most magnificent thing you know. How amazing that she wants to sit here with you in this moment. How amazing that she will always sit with you for a bit when you need her to.
You smile to yourself. How lucky you were that she became your mom. The most perfect mom anyone could have asked for.
You knew, even before you saw her, that she would be the best thing in the world.
Oh how you love her. Your mom.❤️
Words by: The Mommy Poet
