01/05/2024
🌳- may is mental health awareness month & this is a piece of my story.
in my 20’s i was diagnosed with clinical depression & a bonus anxiety disorder. the panic attacks showed up much later in life & heavier than the depression - but the same held true: i was embarrassed & ashamed so i didn’t do much about it. besides taking medication & keeping to myself, i didn’t know what else to do. the silent suffering turned to worse depression & anxiety due to the isolation. it’s all one big cycle that you can actually break - but only when you’re ready.
the patience of my wife is unmatched, she’s been on this rollercoaster with me for ten years. when i turned 40 last year, i decided enough was enough & sought help by way of a counselor, i was ready. coupled with being active for the first time in my entire life - it has dramatically changed the way i see things around me & hopefully how i react to its ever-changing moments. there are still hard days, but in most ways it’s easier only because i have the right tools that work for me at my disposal & the support i lacked by not speaking up. movement is the drug of choice. the rucking has provided a community & built relationships but also sparked something in me where i can’t stop now. the miles clear my mind & i can return to my world of responsibilities with a calmer approach. as a parent we always tell our kids they can do hard things, because they can. i take a selfie every time i go out & post it proudly to Strava regardless of my performance to remind myself that i can do hard things, too…& so can you. someone wise reminded me recently to just keeping putting one foot in front of the other. we got this.
