22/08/2025
Nothing teaches you pain better than patience. The patience to keep the hope still alive, alive enough to believe that all will be well. That pain is a gamble. You don't know how it will pay off but, you still place the bets and wait.
Sometimes, the mind wanders into the abyss of overthinking. Why is my spirtual connect different from others? Why am I not aligned with the traditions as the others are? Why do I feel being the odd man out and yet, am most comfortable being so? The only times the connect for me feels heavy is when I feel the pinch of not having too many on my side. It is always nice to have company.
Don't get me wrong. I LOVE traditions and cultures. I also feel religion is a necessity as it creates boundaries for people, in the larger scheme of things. It is just that my connect with the spirtual stems from a different angle. I like to dig the intents behind following traditions. Why do people do what they do? Does doing something without knowing everything about that something help?
I guess, it does. In a way. We all need that hope, you see. To feel the pain of patience is at times much heavier than carrying the weight of traditions.
Maybe, I am wired to feel things deeply, as deeply one can. It is a boon and a bane. To feel everything also results in unexplained fears of looking over each time sine wave hits the trough. And, that is exhausting.
Yet, patience has not given up on me. Yet. There is hope that all will be well. It is just that the restlessness that comes along with the wait plays devious mind games. It is not easy to manage the restlessness.
For some, traditions help to navigate the mind wars.
For me, a pen and a paper does the same.
Some work in progress.
As am I.
Blessings for all. Sufferings for none. So mote it be.