
05/08/2025
I over ate today, most of the time it's a bad time when that happens.
A dash of regret, one whole self loathing knot, a full scoop of depression and a heaping handful of bitter resentment(of myself).
That's usually the recipe following such a feat. However, today this is far from the case.
First of all. I didn't finish my plate, most of it sure yeah, hence the over eating, but not even close to all of it.
Second of all, it it's meal I get rarely in a time where I have a rare amount of free time.
This meal was enjoyed, the moment was observed and fully experienced.(Okay maybe not fully but more so than normal) My hope for comfortable gastrointestinal pressure was abandoned for a joyous occasion. And I am okay with this.
And then
I looked for something to either settle the tummy or just be a nice sweet cap on the meal. And I found this.
Yogurt is nice and it could maybe degas the maelstrom. But I wasn't anxious about it or trying to remedy the issue.
My point in all of this is the fact I cannot get away from food nor do I think I must try. But in repairing the bonded nature of fuel and enjoyment of it, to be a joy instead of a guilt,I have found a principled delight. That is, to hold the stress and anxiety, the bonafide "bad" feelings in a separate place than the deep canyon carved since a childhood marred with things that make a kid dive into a mixing bowl full of cereal instead of the nothingness of his home.
I'm not to the point Id like to be. But to find a little joy in eating a bit too much in a relaxing evening... I think I've come pretty far, even if just for me.
Whatever your things are, the ways you have moved and changed and healed, please acknowledge them. Even a little.
Also, this wasn't something I did, it was intentionally just following Jesus, and some things got a whole lot easier. Still working too.