Jarad Tokich

Jarad Tokich What’s up? Music and life

I over ate today, most of the time it's a bad time when that happens.A dash of regret, one whole self loathing knot, a f...
05/08/2025

I over ate today, most of the time it's a bad time when that happens.

A dash of regret, one whole self loathing knot, a full scoop of depression and a heaping handful of bitter resentment(of myself).

That's usually the recipe following such a feat. However, today this is far from the case.

First of all. I didn't finish my plate, most of it sure yeah, hence the over eating, but not even close to all of it.
Second of all, it it's meal I get rarely in a time where I have a rare amount of free time.

This meal was enjoyed, the moment was observed and fully experienced.(Okay maybe not fully but more so than normal) My hope for comfortable gastrointestinal pressure was abandoned for a joyous occasion. And I am okay with this.

And then

I looked for something to either settle the tummy or just be a nice sweet cap on the meal. And I found this.

Yogurt is nice and it could maybe degas the maelstrom. But I wasn't anxious about it or trying to remedy the issue.

My point in all of this is the fact I cannot get away from food nor do I think I must try. But in repairing the bonded nature of fuel and enjoyment of it, to be a joy instead of a guilt,I have found a principled delight. That is, to hold the stress and anxiety, the bonafide "bad" feelings in a separate place than the deep canyon carved since a childhood marred with things that make a kid dive into a mixing bowl full of cereal instead of the nothingness of his home.

I'm not to the point Id like to be. But to find a little joy in eating a bit too much in a relaxing evening... I think I've come pretty far, even if just for me.

Whatever your things are, the ways you have moved and changed and healed, please acknowledge them. Even a little.

Also, this wasn't something I did, it was intentionally just following Jesus, and some things got a whole lot easier. Still working too.

These are my daily drivers. They are cheap, have half decent sound, stay on my head, easy to wear under ear protection a...
03/08/2025

These are my daily drivers. They are cheap, have half decent sound, stay on my head, easy to wear under ear protection and well... They work!

But not forever.

I see a lot online and have lived experience where many tell me with words and actions that to work is to live, to die is to rest.
This ethereal ideal precipitates work as something to be idealized, to be honored as almost not so much a godly service but rather something to be revered in itself. As a dirty in itself. I've seen it take life, I've seen it take homes, marriages, and even... Faith.

Work, like money, I think is a tool. But our bodies are not machines to grind into dust and be replaced for a new part of the funds allow it. We don't get more youth if we work our bones into dust. No replacements await, no hope for a second childhood. We get this wisp of life and to work is not to live, I don't think so anyway.

These headphones have survived a bit over a year. So did the last ones. I got a warranty replacement on both(stoked 👍👍👍) but these are $20 earphones, not a meticulously crafted body, with a time limit and segregation clock. No OEM parts available, only the not so cheap after market stuff that limps us along until the last run to the market.

Work IS important, no work=no eat
But
Life holds so much, why not grasp what we have rather than save it in a bin with the rainy day fund.

Today feels never ending, but that's fine.(shearing a bunch of shrubs) It doesn't get better usually but emotions and bo...
01/08/2025

Today feels never ending, but that's fine.(shearing a bunch of shrubs) It doesn't get better usually but emotions and body aches do get less eventually. I'm not to the easier part yet, but I know it's there and it'll come someday.

I saw this spider today. "What an odd place to make a home" I thought. And really, it is. The bottom of a door, right un...
11/07/2025

I saw this spider today. "What an odd place to make a home" I thought. And really, it is. The bottom of a door, right underfoot. But this door early is used. Especially this time of year so why not chance it. Still a bad idea, but what does a spider know. Probably hasn't lived through the seasons to change to know. Maybe you haven't either... Maybe your taking up residence (mind, literal house, something else entirely...idk what does this mean to you???) somewhere that will or maybe even has gotten you "trampled" might just be somewhere you didn't know gets traffic sometimes.aybe ask someone who's been around the block a few times.

I mean God. Just to be clear lol. 🙏

Happy July, it's the 4th of this month in the year of our Lord 2025. Did you find a mystery today? Kinda hope not, that'...
05/07/2025

Happy July, it's the 4th of this month in the year of our Lord 2025. Did you find a mystery today? Kinda hope not, that's a good time but wow isn't it better to rest in the familiar among loved ones, born or chosen? You decide.

But seriously happy 4th of July buddies...
Might the evens be temporarily out of service.

Also would like to add, family chosen can and often is closer than blood. Church I believe SHOULD be but that's pretty hard. So church peeps please try to include the weirdos lots of us don't have the family we're all "supposed" to be with on holidays.

❤️

Went on a walk recently.this is the map for the trails. Found a place well worn, made to be a place for walking. Amidst ...
29/06/2025

Went on a walk recently.this is the map for the trails. Found a place well worn, made to be a place for walking. Amidst conversation and a brisk walk I found a peace in pushing myself past comfort into a rhythm were comfort may be less obvious but achievable. My walking partners less exercised and more sequestered than I after a long day of working in yards and the wilderness in the suburbs and neighborhoods.

My desire to pace slow, converse freely, and hope from rest was not dashed but overwritten by the need to move, breath fresh air, and speak of things in no particular order of my comrades.

I cannot say I know what I've learned from this trek, but that a moment in my life, even small and receded into the mush of things a day has to offer upon recall, can and is a precious moment to hold on to in a brief or extended trip to the depths of dark feelings or thoughts.

https://on.soundcloud.com/lyfE7filN9SaXEjFGa

Sometimes you just have to share the thing. warts and all. here's one: I was given a floor protector mat thing, the sun ...
24/06/2025

Sometimes you just have to share the thing. warts and all.
here's one: I was given a floor protector mat thing, the sun was out and this is how I took it to my car. made for a nice diffused light and a relatively peaceful moment at the end of an exhausting day.

also this:

https://on.soundcloud.com/Qv108fBpSIrZkgIL6p

Something I've seen and it's been repeated in actions and conversations throughout many if not all circles I've stumbled...
30/04/2025

Something I've seen and it's been repeated in actions and conversations throughout many if not all circles I've stumbled through is the lack of conversation, communication, or willingness to speak and listen, to be heard and to hear. To see eye to eye. Specifically in difficult terrain.

Old men like to quote their forefathers, claim "that's just how it is" old women speak in hugged tones in company with deriding remarks. Young men get angry, I mean real angry, and with huffed contempt slump back into the path they've been set into and under the elders hip. To be honest young women are so often not heard at all that I've seen very nearly nothing of them with louder more experienced and nuanced exceptions(more healthy anduch more outspoken about problems and praise!)

This is a problem in all walks, all places and all levels. Especially in the Christian spaces. We need to talk about things, and listen. Mostly listen, without a discussion why the speaker is wrong and why blah blah blah.

Listen to yourself enough and then to others, and find how quite similar we all are.

Once we see another's story, we might find just how on their side you actually are.

But hey, that's just what I see.

To forsake self and chase righteousness to the detriment of our own abilities, standing and comfort. Not easy, very toug...
11/10/2024

To forsake self and chase righteousness to the detriment of our own abilities, standing and comfort. Not easy, very tough, so worth it.

11/10/2024

If God told you to live in poverty, dressed in ill fitting and raggedy clothes, with little influence or status, would you do it without hesitation? Would you give up any wealth or acclaim that you had for the sake of the kingdom?

Or is there hesitation?

I hesitate. I don’t want that. I have so little why would I give it up for less? But I want to have no hesitation for even more extreme requests than that from God.
If people can be served, even one, from my sacrifice then I want it to be worth it.

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