Xenonion News

14/09/2025

A senior representative for the Mindwardens has categorically denied allegations that the Enclave is involved in illicit Zro trafficking while addressing reports from the center of a giant vault filled with the shimmering psionically active dust.

A senior representative for the Mindwardens has categorically denied allegations that the Enclave is involved in illicit Zro trafficking while addressing reports from the center of a giant vault filled with the shimmering psionically active dust. “The Mindwardens only ask space nations for donatio...

07/09/2025

“The veil is notoriously dry this time of year with a high Zro count,” eye specialist Dr Fovea told Xenonion. “Pops need to specifically attune for optimal humidity and avoid the bright strobing that comes with looking too hard into the future late at night.”

A giant floating eye has woken up “extra dry and crusty” this morning, Shroud affiliates report.   Literal eyewitnesses said Ziris, an unsettlingly large psionic eyeball, appeared much redder and more encrusted than usual, with particularly squeaky blinks.   “Surely this much gunk

31/08/2025

Lost Colony Knows Exactly Where It Is

24/08/2025

Griffith, who spent most of his early career napping, holds advanced qualifications in finger painting. The three-year-old has been hailed as a “gifted visionary” by UNE President Jeffrey Rossario, who added he had “an unparalleled ability to fit three entire building blocks into his mouth.”

In a surprise move that has baffled political analysts, three-year-old human toddler Timmy Griffith has become the youngest governor in galactic history.   Following a unanimous confirmation by the United Nations of Earth (UNE) senate in Ulm, Griffith now assumes governorship over

17/08/2025

A consortium of exhausted economists have published a report this week warning that the galactic economy is “unsalvageable” and have urged area leaders to “take a deep breath and just start over from scratch.”

A consortium of exhausted economists have published a report this week warning that the galactic economy is “unsalvageable” and have urged area leaders to “take a deep breath and just start over from scratch.”   The report, published by the Galactic Trade Organization (GTO), outlined th...

02/08/2025

“We realized we haven’t used the Strategic Coordination Center for actual military planning in about 30 years,” UNE rear-admiral Brian Murchad told Xenonion. “Once we’d established dominance over our cluster, there wasn’t much left to strategically coordinate. But we realized we still really like painting maps different colors.”

What was once the nerve center of the United Nation of Earth’s (UNE’s) sprawling military-industrial complex is now home to something even more ambitious: a 300,000-player LAN party for Universe Universalis enthusiasts. Human officials confirmed this week that the Strategic Coordination Center, ...

27/07/2025

Local lithoids gathered this weekend to celebrate the arrival of Groxite’s first pebble, in what guests described as “a lovely afternoon of snacks, seismic activity and mild structural damage.”

Local lithoids gathered this weekend to celebrate the arrival of Groxite’s first pebble, in what guests described as “a lovely afternoon of snacks, seismic activity and mild structural damage.” Various rocks, boulders, and mineral deposits attended the event at Groxite’s suburban home, bring...

21/07/2025

“Do I just… pick a random point in orbit and hope the rest of it lines up later?" chief engineer Varkan asked, gesturing vaguely at empty space. “I guess we're about to see what 300 trillion alloys and a dream can achieve."

Ringworld engineer Varkan Dorn has admitted he is “completely winging it” after being tasked with beginning construction on the galaxy’s most expensive megastructure. “Do I just… pick a random point in orbit and hope the rest of it lines up later?” he said, gesturing vaguely at empty spa...

12/07/2025

The meeting had been set to focus on the construction of a new federation fleet, but proceedings quickly derailed after delegates became distracted by what one witness described as “a frankly astonishing number of cloaca.”

The Just Alliance’s first federation meeting following the admission of the Bwauki was abruptly adjourned yesterday, after it emerged the avian species doesn’t wear any clothes. An agenda had been set to focus on the construction of a new federation fleet, but proceedings quickly became derailed...

04/07/2025

“I honestly couldn’t even tell you who we’re working for anymore,” station commander Lin Varis told Xenonion, standing next to a hastily repainted empire insignia. “It seems like every hour someone new storms in and tells us we’re part of the resistance, the liberation or the resistance to the liberation. I just salute to whoever yells the loudest.”

Crew aboard the embattled ISS Dantor have issued a repeated request for clarity on ownership after the space station changed hands seventeen times in the last week. The station, originally belonging to the Yantunan Republic, has been at the center of a major conflict between the neighboring Tyznn

17/06/2025

08/06/2025

OR-9376E is one of sixteen asteroids across the local cluster that are currently hurtling exclusively towards the home-worlds of species that have not yet attained faster-than-light (FTL) spaceflight.

Early space-age pops on the planet of Aldarax are bracing for yet another ‘once-in-a-millennium’ asteroid impact, the fifth occurrence in as many weeks. The asteroid, named OR-9376E , was spotted tracking towards the home-world of the pre-spaceflight civilization early this morning. This comes o...