Dirge Magazine

10/09/2025

This one’s pretty self-explanatory, but in case your nervous system is also decimated by *gestures broadly* here’s a roundup of slimes that might provide five minutes of sensory stimulation and, dare we say, fun?

Feel like you're being hunted for sport? Turn off the news and turn on your hands for this roundup of sensory slimes that look as good as they feel.

05/09/2025

Watching other people play Dungeons & Dragons on shows like Critical Role and Dimension 20 has become the cultural norm for fans of tabletop roleplaying games.

It is often a gateway for new players to see how the game is played before getting their feet wet with a new gaming group.

But many of us are old enough to have lived through the Satanic Panic, the normalized bullying, the marginalization that came with enjoying a game that you had to play in the garage with your friends.

Live play is inarguably a good thing for the growth and normalization of the hobby, and the joy of bringing stories to life in a small group.

Feelings can become complicated, however, when you watch other people enjoy a meteoric rise to fame for doing the exact same thing you wanted to do but got your ass kicked up and down instead.

It would be easy to fester in bitter resentment and hate anyone who got to live your dreams right in front of you. It would be easy to pick nits and find faults, and sour grape your way through never getting to enjoy this fun, funny, wonderful thing that everyone else is. This happens to a lot of gamers as they age and fail to grow.

They get left behind.

But what if at least one of the stars in this constellation were so good, so wholesome, that you had no choice but to heal?

When you grow up hated for your hobbies, it's weird to wake up one day to find them celebrated and richly rewarded. Are they in good hands?

03/09/2025

In search of a good book or seven? Do you read anything from fantasy to biographies to true crime to half-orc smashin' romance? Well, you're in luck, because our inaugural edition of Staff Stacks, where we tell you all about what we've been reading lately, is up now!

We here at Dirge are, first and foremost, nerds. As such, most of us are big readers of every possible genre. If you're in need of some recommendations, look no further; we've got you covered.

29/08/2025

What could be more perfect for you to read about over this long weekend than the first edition of our brand new Hater Hagiographies series focusing on the one and only Bobby “The Brain” Heenan? NOTHING. SO READ IT RIGHT NOW.

Bobby was more than just a loud mouth in a louder jacket—he was an artist who worked in insults the way Rembrandt worked in oils.

28/08/2025

Dost thou wish to engage in hours-long conversations about what makes a person a wizard versus a witch? Perhaps you like to talk about gardening? Maybe you'd like to debate the evolutionary merits of wing spine-talons on blue dragons? Wanna share some memes with like-minded people? Then you should absolutely join our Discord! Bonus: Patreon patrons get access to the exclusive Pink Bony Club channel. Excuse us, we gotta go keep on dancing at the.... https://discord.gg/DX8dQpeJAH

27/08/2025

The world is a nightmarish hellscape, and we suggest you take a break from doomscrolling and do something to revive your hope for humanity, even for just a few minutes. How do you do that? Read this article, then watch "We Are the Champions," and thank us afterward.

An earnest and heartfelt look at strange competitions, We Are The Champions is the Netflix series weirdos needed.

22/08/2025

"There’s not a whole lot on The Extraterrestrial Highway, aside from a few similarly goofy roadside attractions and the famous 'Black Mailbox,' where Bob Lazar used to meet people for UFO watching trips. This ultra-secret spot for only the people in the know can be found at the intersection of Mailbox Road and Extraterrestrial Highway (yes, really).... Most super-secret military bases don’t have a highway named 'MILITARY SECRETS THIS WAY!' In fact, most regular military bases don’t have roads that advertise their existence at all." -RA Pickup.

Sorry, kids, the aliens aren't in Rachel, Nevada. (Though if you told me they were in my old college dormmate named Rachel, I'd believe you.)

What I'm about to present to you is as good or better than 99% of the UFO conspiracies out there and makes 20x more sense.

21/08/2025

We're back, baby!

Find out where we're going, how you can help, and what it means to be truly free here at the end of all things.

Get more from Dirge Magazine on Patreon

20/08/2025

We could’ve had a whole Space Jam cinematic universe???!?!? This is the Bad Place.

Pour out your Secret Stuff for this untenable stillborn franchise.

19/08/2025

Since it'll be 30 years old next year (!!!), we're reminding you now that there's more to this movie than sucking Salma Hayek's toes.

Two decades on, From Dusk Till Dawn flipped the vampire genre on its head—melding crime, horror, and genre-bending style into a cult classic. Discover how Rodriguez and Tarantino redefined undead cinema.

15/08/2025

Today at Dirge, we’re talking about the only kind of crypto that matters: Cryptozoology.

Before cryptozoology was the purview of sleazy reality television, the search for mysterious beasts was a serious pursuit -- and this art proves it.

10/05/2023

Tea and tinctures that will bless you down to your bones. 💀

Tea blends and medicinals that will bless you down to your bones.