Tinkinga tasekamelweni./sexual problems to all gender, Nelspruit, Mpumalanga (2025)

09/12/2025

Nibahle mahhaLa mekungavalwa iClinic ngeke niliqede neviki🥱💔😩

09/12/2025

Bangiphuzisa amanzi abageze ngawo isdumb*somyeni wami emva kokushona kwakhe engagulanga💔😭😭😭😭

Umnyeni wami washona engazange agule bangiphoqa ukuthi ngiwaphuze amanzi abageze ngawo umzimba wakhe ukuze kubonakale ukuthi akusimina ombulele kuthwa ngingaphuza lawo Manzi makuyimi ombulele Kusho nami ngizokufa kodwa if kungasimi ayikho into ezoyenzeka 😭💔💔kanti banginika amanzi asebewufake ushef* lo ababulel* ngawo umnyeni wami befuna ngife icala balusulele Kimi 😭💔💔💔

Sambe ku comment section indaba ephelele👇

09/12/2025

You know that feeling when something shifts? It’s not an argument, not a crisis, but a quiet, internal click. You realize the way you’ve always done things—the quick defense, the sharp withdrawal, the story you tell yourself about why you can’t be hurt—it just doesn’t work here. Not with this person. Not if you want this to last.

A real relationship will ask you to grow. Not in a dramatic, overnight way. But in the slow, steady way a tree grows toward light. It will ask you to become more than you were when you walked into it. Not because you’re inadequate, but because love, real love, is an expansive force. It creates a container that is too big for your smaller, guarded self to fill. You will feel the stretch. And it will be uncomfortable.

It’ll push you to stop reacting like your old wounds are in control. That instant flash of anger when you feel criticized? That’s your old wound speaking. That cold silence when you feel disappointed? That’s an old shield snapping into place. The relationship will present you with moments that echo your past, but with a person who is not your past. Your task is to learn the difference. To feel the trigger, but choose a new response. To say, “I feel myself getting defensive, and I need a moment,” instead of launching the counterattack. This is the work. It’s reparenting yourself in real time.

It’ll ask you to look at your past, take responsibility, and stop pointing fingers when things hurt. This is where the rubber meets the road. It’s easy to say, “You made me feel this way.” It’s harder, but utterly transformative, to say, “When you did that, it touched a part of me that already felt unworthy. My hurt is real, and my history is playing a part in it.” This isn’t about letting someone off the hook for poor behavior. It’s about understanding your own hook—why you’re caught on it, and how to get free. You stop being a victim of your reactions and become a student of your triggers.

If you truly want love, you have to be willing to open up. This is the greatest act of courage. To put down the carefully constructed persona, the “I’m fine” facade, the curated version of you that’s easy to love. You have to be willing to say, “Here is my fragile part. Here is my shame. Here is my need.” You must risk being seen, truly seen, and trust that the other person will handle your heart with the same care you hope to offer theirs.

Be honest. Not just about the easy stuff. Honest about your doubts. Your boundaries. Your mistakes. Honest even when it might lead to a difficult conversation. Love cannot breathe in an atmosphere of omission and half-truths. It thrives on the clear, sometimes bracing, air of reality.

And break the habits that once protected you. That’s the bittersweet irony. The walls you built, the sarcasm you wield, the emotional exits you keep clear—they kept you safe in a war zone. But you are not in a war zone anymore. You are trying to build a home. You cannot build with bricks meant for a fortress. You have to lay them down, one by one, and learn to stand in the open space, trusting that the vulnerability is now your greatest strength, not a liability.

Because even when you find the right person, you’ll still have to meet the hardest part of the journey — yourself. They are not your project. You are. The relationship becomes the mirror, the gym, the sacred classroom where your own unresolved business comes to the surface to be dealt with. They will reflect back to you your capacity for pettiness and your capacity for grace. Your instinct to flee and your deeper longing to stay. Facing yourself in that mirror—without turning away, without blaming the glass—is the most demanding, rewarding work you will ever do.

This is the pact of real love. It’s not “I will make you happy.” It’s “I will love you in a way that invites you to grow, and I will commit to growing alongside you.” It’s choosing each other, and just as importantly, choosing the better versions of yourselves that your love makes possible.

It’s not easy. But it is simple. And it is the only thing that builds a love that lasts.

09/12/2025

Let’s be honest. Let’s strip away the comfortable illusions and the convenient excuses. Let’s talk about what betrayal really looks like in a world where connection is currency and attention is the gateway.

Cheating today doesn’t begin with physical contact. It begins long before a hand is ever held, a kiss ever stolen. It begins in the quiet, overlooked corners of your daily life. In the spaces you tell yourself don’t count.

It starts small. Deceptively small. So small you can dismiss it with a shrug.

A little attention. Paid to someone outside your relationship that carries a certain charge. You notice their posts first. You linger on their stories. You feel a flicker of something—curiosity, validation, intrigue—that belongs in the sacred economy of your partnership, but you spend it elsewhere.

A reaction. A heart on a vulnerable story. A laughing emoji on a joke that wasn’t that funny. A comment that’s a little too personal, a little too supportive, a little too *there*. It’s a signal. A tiny ping on the radar of someone else’s life, saying, *I’m listening.*

A message you hide. Not even because the words are inappropriate yet, but because the *fact* of it feels private in a way that excludes your partner. You don’t mention it in passing. You clear the notification. You hold this digital thread in secret, and that secrecy is the first fracture.

A connection you entertain even though you know better. You know the tone is shifting. You know you’re sharing parts of your day, your thoughts, your mild frustrations, with someone who isn’t your person. You feel the emotional pull, the drip-feed of intimacy, and yet you rationalize it. *We’re just talking. It’s harmless. My partner doesn’t need to know every conversation I have.*

People love to say it’s innocent, but emotional cheating is the first step toward something bigger. It is the foundation. It is the slow, deliberate construction of a parallel emotional world where someone else meets your needs for understanding, admiration, or escape. It is the quiet transfer of loyalty, one shared confidence, one secret laugh, one midnight reply at a time.

By the time it turns physical, the damage was already done. The physical act is simply a formality. A confirmation. The real betrayal happened in the heart and the mind first—in the emotional sanctuary you built with someone else while your partner trusted they were still your home.

This isn’t about policing friendships or living in suspicion. It’s about integrity. It’s about the conscious, daily choice to direct your most meaningful emotional energy toward the person you promised to build a life with. It’s about recognizing that fidelity isn’t just about your body. It’s about your focus. Your vulnerability. Your truth.

Guard your connections. Honor your commitments with your attention, not just your absence from another’s bed. Because trust isn’t broken in a single moment of passion—it’s eroded in a thousand moments of careless, divided attention.

09/12/2025

A man with nothing to offer will take everything you have. A man without money will take yours. A man without self worth will betray you. A man without peace will drain you. And a man without dreams will sabotage yours. If he can’t provide and protect, he’s not a partner, he’s a parasite. And a parasite doesn’t love you, he just needs you. And not for who you are, but for what you can give. Because, a parasite can only survive if you keep feeding it.

He'll suck the life out of you, he'll drain your energy, and he'll leave you hollow. He'll take your kindness for weakness, your generosity for granted, and your love for exploitation. And when you're done, when you're empty, he'll move on to the next victim, the next host, the next meal ticket.

Don't let him fool you, don't let him gaslight you, and don't let him convince you that you're lucky to have him. You're worth more, you're worth better, and you're worth so much more than a man who can't even provide for himself, let alone for you. Wake up, sis, you're being used, and it's time to break free.

09/12/2025

The greatest thing I ever did was find the courage to stop fighting for someone who was fine at losing me. It required strength to see that love was never meant to be one-sided or exhausting. When someone does not appreciate you being there, your effort is lost on them. But walking away was not giving up, it was choosing me, and my peace, and my worth. The strongest people are those who let go and stand tall at the moment they realize that fight no longer has to be fought. At that moment I knew that the right people don’t make you beg for love, for attention, or for effort. They pick you just as hard as you pick them.

09/12/2025

These days you are either dating motho wa motho or motho wa batho.
Streets are empty

09/12/2025

SIGNS A PERSON HAS BEEN THROUGH A LOT IN RELATIONSHIPS — AND MAY NOT BE READY FOR SOMETHING SERIOUS

Not every scar is visible.
Not every quiet person is shy.
And not every confident person is truly healed.

Sometimes, what you think is “attitude” is actually emotional exhaustion.
What you think is “pride” is actually self-protection.
What you think is “playing hard to get” is actually a heart that has seen too much, too fast, too soon.

Signs someone has been through a lot in past relationships — not based on judgment, but pure emotional truth:

1️⃣ They Don’t Trust Compliments Easily

They’ve heard sweet words before.
They’ve been hyped up, praised, admired… then abandoned.
So now, compliments sound nice — but they don’t sink in.
They smile, but deep down they ask themselves:
“Is this real… or another temporary excitement?”

2️⃣ They Avoid Attachment Because They Fear Repeating Past Mistakes

You’ll feel them pulling close today…
and then pushing you away tomorrow.
It’s not because they’re confused —
it’s because they’ve been too sure before, and it hurt.

3️⃣ They’re Emotionally Intelligent but Emotionally Guarded

They know what love should feel like.
They know what loyalty looks like.
They know what cheating, manipulation, gaslighting, and heartbreak look like too.
So now they analyze everything.
Every tone.
Every message.
Every action.

Nothing gets past them.

4️⃣ They Don’t Rush Into Anything

When someone has been through a lot, love stops looking like a race.
It becomes a slow, careful walk.
They don’t want butterflies — they want peace.
They don’t want fake urgency — they want real consistency.

5️⃣ They Can Read People Too Quickly

Experience taught them.
Pain sharpened them.
Loss trained them.
They can spot lies, games, and red flags early because they’ve lived through all of them.

6️⃣ They Value Privacy More Than Attention

You won’t see them oversharing.
You won’t see them posting every detail.
They’ve learned that too many voices ruin something beautiful.
They protect their heart — and their relationship — in silence.

7️⃣ They Don’t Fall for Sweet Words — Only Consistent Actions

Say “I l0ve you”…
Say “I m2ss you”…
Say “I care”…

Beautiful.
But they’ve heard it all before.
They don’t believe it unless they feel it repeatedly.

8️⃣ They Detach Quickly When They Sense Disrespect

No begging.
No forcing.
No over-explaining.
When you’ve been through a lot, leaving becomes easier than staying where you’re not valued.

9️⃣ They Want Loyalty More Than Perfection

People who have suffered emotionally don’t need someone flawless —
they need someone faithful.
Someone honest.
Someone stable.
Someone who isn’t just in love with their body, their beauty, or their presence —
but with their soul.

🔟 They Love Hard… But Only After Feeling Truly Safe

They are not cold.
They are careful.
They are not emotionless.
They are protective.
Give them safety — and they’ll give you the deepest love you’ve ever tasted.

You can never judge someone by their past.
What matters is who they are right now —
how they treat you, how they love you, and how they choose you.

A person’s value is not measured by their history…
But by their healed heart, their intentions, and their character.

09/12/2025

WHEN A MAN STARTS PULLING AWAY, DO THIS INSTEAD

My dear sister
When a man starts to withdraw
When his calls reduce
When his messages slow down
When his energy suddenly changes
I know it can shake your heart

You start asking yourself questions
Did I do something wrong
Is he losing interest
Is he seeing someone else
Does he still love me

But listen
Chasing him will not bring him back
Begging will not fix it
Overthinking will only break you more

Here are ten powerful things to do when a man starts pulling away
These steps will protect your heart
Preserve your dignity
And help you see his true intentions clearly

09/12/2025

I wish I could see myself through your eyes. For in your eyes, I am bright and untarnished. I am strong and capable and worthy. You pull my best qualities forward. You coax them with your kindness, and they spring forth giddily onto your lap. When I am with you, I am airy. I feel like a tiny speck of sunlight caught in the quaint center of your coffee. If only I could hear your voice in my head and let it be louder than all my doubts and cynicism. Maybe then I could be almost unstoppable.

Outside of our friendship, I am pessimistic; I view the world through murky glasses, and hate most everyone I meet even before getting to know them. Then we reunite after a year, waiting for our stars to align, and you greet me with that disarming smile, and you remind me of the good that I've done, and you make me believe of the good that I could do. You see something noble in me, still, my secret-keeper. I wish to be worthy of that.

There is this pulsing peace in the palm of your hand. I sandwich it between my own and bring it close to my face and its warmth spreads upon contact, breaching my skin, into my pores, surging directly towards my heart. I gasp and remember I used to love life. I remember bouncing with unbridled energy with you. We have shared such good memories together. Nights and mornings, and that magical time after midnight and just before the dawn, when all things were possible. We really thought we could have it all, didn't we?

You are the personification of all my whispered prayers for genuine friendship back then. Back when I was 9 or 7. And I wish to be best friends still when we are 97 and beyond.

We are atop the mountain. Below lies my rural landscape. Beyond, your urban jungle, and our eyes fix at the spot where our two different worlds meet. I remember holding your hand, in a much younger time, thrumming with the lifeblood of the city, feeling its beating heart, looking at all the blinking lights with wide-eyed wonder, with an eager, forgivably-naive spirit, with dreams rampantly spilling from my mouth. You told me you believed in me. And I believed you. I looked at you, saw the sparkle of your own dreams in your eyes, and thought that no matter what happens, no matter where we go, you will always have me, for as long as you want me in your life.

Now, as we look at that shimmering concrete-and-steel giant in the distance, we feel the years on our bodies. We have been tempered by our respective tribulations. We have been humbled, made low, but also made anew. There is a stillness in our spirit that was once that rushing, gushing, bubbling, radiance. Our smiles and our eyes are tired. I look at you again, and see my friend in childhood, the short-haired, frail-looking girl with the blue-framed glasses, and I smile.

I delight in this image in my head of us two, years in the far future, still looking at the distance, after having afternoon tea, old and grey, crooked and bent, and poor eyesight crinkling our faces as we squint, reminiscing about the past, the past that is our current present. We still make each other laugh until our bones hurt, and we laugh about how silly we were, making our young lives so horrible than it actually was, and then we hug, still friends through the twilight of our lives.

- letter to my best friend.

09/12/2025

If love makes you thirsty, never fear: you have wine.

If your body's a ruin, don't worry: there's treasure inside.

You've run out of water? No, your water is near.

Wake up: this world that you dream holds nothing to fear

09/12/2025

If you want your relationship to
last, you gotta be okay with
cutting off anything that makes
your partner uncomfortable. It’s
not control, it’s respect.

When two people are truly committed, they protect the bond, not their ego. Respect means choosing your partner's peace over temporary attention, meaningless conversations, or anything that threatens the relationship. It’s about understanding that loyalty isn’t just about not cheating — it’s about not entertaining situations that could make the person you love feel unsafe or replaceable. Real maturity is knowing that boundaries aren’t restrictions; they’re love in action. If you want something that lasts, you must be willing to remove anything that disrespects what you’re trying to build. That’s real partnership.

Tinkinga tasekamelweni./sexual problems to all gender

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