26/11/2025
I refuse to remain captive when Jesus freed me from everything that tied me to my past. The devil always finds new ways to use my childhood experience/trauma as a way to trap me in my thoughts. I have been waking up to panick attacks of lately and didnt understand why but no more _[Colossians 2:8 8 See to it that no one carries you off as spoil or makes you yourselves captive by his so-called philosophy and intellectualism and vain deceit (idle fancies and plain nonsense), following human tradition (men’s ideas of the material rather than the spiritual world), just crude notions following the rudimentary and elemental teachings of the universe and disregarding [the teachings of] Christ (the Messiah).]_, then the Holy Spirit revealed that he has planted fear in my heart.
This idiot(devil) really thinks I am still the stupid little girl who was afraid of being left or rejected. He really needs to take a good look at me, *I do not walk alone anymore and i am not my traumas, I am not the things that happened to me.*
What made me scream in agony was that i had forgotten how it feels like to fear something or to live in fear. It’s not nice at all i don’t know when last I had a panick attack let alone waking up to one. Panick attacks are no jokes it’s like fighting to live, it broke my heart and scared me so much. But I’m okay now and God has revealed to me what’s causing them.
I’ve lived life as a zombie 🧟 not knowing if im coming or going, i didn’t know who I was, I felt breathless and unseen. I turned to everything seeking to belong or to find peace but I didn’t I just became more shallow and lost. *Pain was the only thing that kept me alive, cause it was the only thing I could feel.* So waking up to these panick attacks I feared being broken again and without purpose or identity.
I thank God for my freedom and my healing ❤️🩹. He truly is a good God 🥺.
