CJ's ToxiCity

25/09/2025

"I Can't live without You 🫵🏼❤️🥺"...

At some point in life you've had someone say this words to you or you've said it to someone, even felt that way about someone or something. It's not like you were lying when you said this , they might've been serious about it, meant every word but truly speaking 'they can't live without you ' until they have to live without you.

I felt like there wouldn't be a world were I'd be breathing without my mom, even thinking about it at the time used to get me emotional as I couldn't picture a world without her. When the nurses came and said "I'm sorry to inform you this but Priscilla is no more..." I couldn't breath properly,my brain couldn't process any information, 'You should be a man and stay strong' was nothing but dust in the wind . I cried and it hurt me way more as there was not a single person at the time who at least felt the pain I was feeling, my siblings were not there, I felt so alone yet surrounded by many relatives from my mom's side of the family and my dad with a few from his side. I couldn't see properly,my heart was hurting.

I never really asked God why He would do that to me or let it happen. It's strange because when I woke up the next day I thought maybe I was going to see her. It felt like a dream until the day we had to bury my mom, the woman who sacrificed it all for my happiness, the woman who turned to God when she lacks anything, the only woman who genuinely loved me unconditionally, the only woman who said she loves me and expected nothing from it.

Everyday I now had to face the world without her, someone will live without you and they'll slowly learn how to smile again and again and again. Every moment counts , make the best memories with everyone you love and care about, Life will never be exactly the way we want it to be but we get to decide whether we wanna be happy or sad.

27/08/2025

Fool Me Once , Shame on you

You can't fool me twice, I'm not dumb ✌🏼

20/03/2025

There will always be someone who twists everything you say to make themselves look so innocent. When really they are the most vile, bitter human being you know.. 💯

20/03/2025

I Said _

Yeah we ready ...
we get our bags and walk on steady
that feeling we get inside telling us we empty
we getting older as we check on twenty
follow me because I know that this s**t ain't healthy
when the hate is like a walking closet
call on me when you feel haunted this problems coming like scarlet
fall on me and be my target
they all step on you like a welcome carpet
throw you like the rotten fruits at I market
so if they come like scarlet witch
I'll switch to Thor but the hammer will be in my pocket
deadly but friendly
rarely guts spill from ones belly
blood all over , smelly
I get nuts if they touch you when you mine just like em and Hailey

[Verse 2]
They lied to us when they said it would be better by the day
we are left down here to pray
hair turning from black to gray
life gets harder when you're classified black
in other words you're porns in a tray
it's only your brothers you betray
life is hard clean your yard . I know you never chose to live this way
put that cash on the scale , lets see how much it weigh
wait! it weighs less than your pride
the devil has got you at the back in his ride
for my niqqas ama slide
just afraid for me they might raise the white flag call it quits and hide
call on me ...in the shiny amor I'll be your knight
yeah , I might protect with one knife
if they win then fight then I'll know I would've tried
call me crazy
search for safety
eighty minutes with me ,twenty with him then call me lazy
maybe you were never meant to be my lady
I thought I'd dry those tears but fall in gravy
get wet from em like you're fixing leaks ,mach Navy
now I'm freestyling like em daily
peace rain , love grow
follow kindness with no regrets
when you grow you spread your threats
don't spill the juice on rats
instead buy more cats and check the stats.

20/03/2025

Real _

My friends , they never get it
My fans , where never ready
my hands just started sweating ,,,
forgot what i was planning
what matters is the journey ,,,
I'm black , its hard to make it ,,
"hey CJ, start investing "
"maybe ,leave all the ladies"
I dream of a Mercedes
while hosting all the parties

'My dad , he never loved me'
my head, was never mighty
but now i think just see
How it , was never about me
and now ,i chill with Barmie
He made me see that time is
important ,when you g*t it
G*t Mule and bro Mashlit
my Zues just let the light hit...

From now I'm CJ Black Smith.
I've been the Man of steel,
my flow's been real
I post a reel and make a mill
to make a meal.
I might just k¡ll ,
your homie Steve
and while you grieve,
I'll take a leave and make a grill,
tryna show the Dean I'll do what it takes to pay the bill.
He said that he prays for peace ?
f*ck your peace , I love my niece.
Truth be told y'all ruin em kids,,
you tell em myths and make em gay ,
God forbid !!
I'd k¡ll y'all if God permits
I've g*t my sins , I've stole some things,
broke some skits , in set some things and broke my wings,
aint your king dont bow to me.
I've faced the fear ,
they came to cheer.
I'm lonely here ,
suicidal thoughts coz i aint thinking clear.
Heaven is very far but hell is near ,,
like how hard it is to reach a dream.
Should've been an engineer ,
words I got from school were not sincere
'I was hated and discriminated
all because of were I originated '
it was severe
everyday when you hear the word "school" you feel like you could disappear (diss a peer)
all my life , I've been judged , grew up in church so they would stare if I held a can of beer.
No career !!
Passed well but no bursery for niqqas like us .
yes I want a car, but fate rather let me take a bus
I've been a quiet niqqa never ke rase,
but still ba no ntxeela fase.

20/03/2025

You broke my heart and left when you needed
I took some pills i can never be defeated
they say men don't cry so I'm bleeding
I keep the pain and the drugs in my system
while I smoke w**d with the gees ko di chipsing

when I don't need a chance, that's when you gave me one.
When I do need a friend, you never gave me none.
I see demons in the shadows with a loaded gun

I am the center of peace
the wolf in a sheep
fight me to see the villain in me
lost my emotions ,been having no sleep
I know its a fact, u belong to the streets
i got u from it ,body was thick.
You told em o chipi... now u just rusty u can't be miss C to J

20/03/2025

Mom's far now_

My life is a dream and love is the color
the pain came in winter ,
we flexing in summer ...
I'm leaving the gym , just facing the drama
while missing my moma
I wish you were here coz most are the rubber
instead of the steal, I'm missing your meals
was enjoying my supper
I'll never forget the love and peace
you've shown to us ...
Its bad I'm sad , you left my niece
I still feel your hugs and kiss ...
your pictures when I reminisce
I'm slowly drifting away
I was drinking today
but I'm never forgetting to pray
dreams telling me stay , but I always wake up so f what they say
depression wanted me dead
as I was looking up to the sky with some pills in my hand
like a gun to my head
I wanna go but I'm hoping it jams
left some pills on my bed
my eyes were all red
I don't need a new friend
I just know how it ends
I don't wanna chill and talk about trends
as you crack a joke , I'll laugh to pretend
like i get the joke while deep down I'm hurting instead
look at all the kids we misled
some just dressed up trying to blend
my heart I'll defend , but this kids should know that I'm bad
I'm not the CJ you want me to be
I'm not super human, I get broken , I bleed .
ran out of wants I'm just patching my needs
ohh you want advice from me just stay away from the streets
she loved me more than I could love myself but I always tried to retreat.
was far to be reached .
now she's far to be seen .
show me a real niqqa , I just wanna see
I've g*t the files.

20/03/2025

You In my Dreams _Barmie & CJ
Song on YouTube.

You in my dreams
I can't even sleep
it's harder to breath when I think about you
we bought you the c
they came all to see
but thoughts in my head just telling me weep
you had all the faith
you had all the love
I think about you , when looking above
I did all I could yet called it a bluff
I had all the questions
but asking was tough
I told all the Gees , ama make you a song
I know what I need , my mama was strong
ain't ready to move on now that you gone
I prayed on my knees
i gave all to God
I g*tta be glad that you is in Heaven
g*t all your lessons I'm ready to handle
I'll tell all my kids that granny an angel
MoMA I'm grateful
haters are watching we flipping the table

13/12/2024

Real niqqas are going to break this this Codes💀

1. BBH
2. MOB

16/03/2024

🇿🇦‼️

#777

10/03/2024

https://youtu.be/GIdsBFfx0YY?si=bxF78IhuX4Zpr28b

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