Education, Training And Skills Development (2025)

05/07/2025

It was an interactive moment among a friend, her mother, and me.

While my friend was expressing her grievances against her husband, she lost her temper. But what fascinated me was how her mother calmed her down.

The woman simply asked her, “Have you ever heard me speak to your father in this manner?”

The daughter shook her head slightly and replied, “No.”

Then the mother asked again, “Where did you learn this from?”

Those questions seemed to do something to her mind because, when she began to speak again, she was calm.

That same day, I learned it was her parents’ 40th wedding anniversary.

I had barely finished saying “Wow” about such a long marriage when the woman dropped some bombshells about it.

One of the things she told us was an incident that happened during her third pregnancy; she had six children for her husband, by the way.

According to her, she was wearing a boubou one day when her husband looked at her from head to toe and said, “You look like a mad woman.”

Then came another incident that took place on the day they went to shop for baby items.

Instead of telling her that he didn’t have enough money to buy all they needed for the baby, he abandoned her at the market and disappeared.

She’s a woman who embraced God early in life, and one of the things she tried to initiate early in her marriage was the practice of praying with her husband.

She told us that when she brought it up, the husband said, “I am not interested in praying with you.”

The woman told us so much that, by the time she finished talking, I told myself that marriage is one thing no sane person should either boast about or mock another person with.

Marriage is a load that is not light on anyone carrying it, but how people cope with it depends on how they choose to carry theirs.

It’s amazing that the marriages one thought were beds of roses are often the ones that harboured very hurtful scenarios. It’s just that someone made the decision to truly forgive.

There’s a man whose relationship with his daughters I greatly admired. These ladies sponsor their parents’ annual vacation, and while abroad, their parents move from one daughter’s house to another until their stay is over.

I was shocked to hear that the same man often abandoned his wife and their newborn baby at the hospital each time she gave birth, and only when the baby was a girl.

I also heard how he conspired with his kinsmen to marry a younger woman who would bear him sons.

Eventually, he settled for having an affair with a young lady, who also had a daughter for him, making him a father of five girls!

My friend’s mother also told us another story that should serve as a lesson to couples.

According to her, her friend didn’t know that the husband she lived in the same house with had died until several hours later, when the people he had an appointment with stopped by to find out why he wasn’t answering their calls.

It turned out that both husband and wife were not on speaking terms. During their silent feud, her husband was sleeping in a bedroom upstairs, while she occupied the one downstairs.

They kept out of each other’s way, which is why she didn’t know he had been dead for hours, probably since the night before.

If couples learned to communicate a grievance as soon as it happens, there would be fewer accumulated resentments or urges to let bad feelings linger.

Couples should never leave the house without speaking to each other. What if it’s the last time you’ll speak to or see your spouse alive? ‘

Life is full of uncertainties, and we just have to choose to shed our pride in order to embrace peace of mind every time.

If you can’t hug or kiss your spouse when leaving the house, at least tell them, “Have a blessed day.”

One of the reasons to forgive your spouse more is that the moment the reality becomes that they are no longer alive, whatever they have done to you immediately becomes insignificant. You may even start blaming yourself for getting angry with them.

So, why not start letting go more and more now?

One day will definitely become the last day for each of us, and it helps to stop living in denial of this reality about life.

05/07/2025

What to do when you discover your spouse is cheating

Infidelity remains one of the most emotionally devastating experiences anyone in a committed relationship can endure.

For many, the discovery of a partner’s unfaithfulness is not just a betrayal of trust but a shattering of personal, cultural, and even spiritual values.

In Nigeria, where societal pressures around marriage and fidelity are pronounced, the experience can feel doubly isolating.

But what should one actually do when faced with such a painful revelation? Experts say that how you respond in those first days and weeks can shape your long-term well-being.

Did you know a tribe that digs up corpses, dresses them for celebration?

Below are key steps to consider, backed by psychological insights and sociological perspectives:

Pause and process, don’t react immediately

A Lagos-based clinical psychologist, Chinwe Dimkpa, emphasised the importance of emotional regulation in the immediate aftermath of discovery.

“When people react impulsively, whether by confrontation, violence, or publicly exposing the partner, they often end up regretting those decisions later,” she explains.

The first instinct may be to scream, confront, or even retaliate. However, Adebayo recommends taking some time to pause, breathe, and process what you now know. Publications such as the Journal of Family Psychology affirm that a period of emotional cooling-off can reduce the risk of escalated conflict and allow for clearer decision-making.

Seek professional support

In Nigeria, therapy is still surrounded by stigma, but more people are realising its value.

A marriage counsellor, psychologist, or trusted religious leader can provide a safe space to express your feelings and understand your options.

According to the African Journal of Psychological Study of Social Issues, couples who engage in professional therapy post-infidelity are better able to process their pain and determine the future of the relationship with greater clarity.

Support should also include trusted friends or family, but choose carefully. Avoid turning it into a gossip cycle. One or two emotionally mature confidants are enough.

The goal is to surround yourself with voices of wisdom, not bitterness.

Understand the nature of the infidelity

Not all cheating is the same. Was it a one-time lapse, an ongoing affair, or an emotional betrayal?

Understanding what happened can help you make more informed decisions about whether to confront, forgive, or separate.

A Sociologist, Sola Ogunyemi, notes that “the roots of infidelity are often deeper than mere sexual desire. They can be linked to unmet emotional needs, stress, or even social pressure.”

This is not to excuse the act, Sola stressed, but to frame it in a context that allows for a more grounded response.

In some cases, especially in marriages with children, understanding the depth of the issue can inform whether reconciliation is possible or advisable.

When you decide to confront your spouse, timing and tone matter. Choose a private, neutral space and try to avoid language that inflames.

Psychologist Usen Essien urged spouses with such problems to begin with ‘I’ statements, “I felt hurt when I discovered…”, instead of accusations.

Quoting research published in the Nigerian Journal of Behavioural Sciences, Essien said such confrontations that begin with blame are far more likely to end in denial, defensiveness, or counterattacks.

He said, “You have the right to demand honesty. Ask the hard questions, and be prepared for answers that may hurt. But make it clear that you’re seeking understanding, not revenge.”

Decide what you want going forward

This is perhaps the most difficult part. Do you want to stay and work things out, or do you want to leave? Either choice is valid, but it must be your own.

If you choose to stay, know that rebuilding trust takes time and effort from both parties.

A study by Shirley Glass in her book, Not Just Friends, highlights that couples who recover from infidelity often do so through transparency, renewed intimacy, and a shared commitment to heal.

If you choose to leave, know that you are not a failure. Walking away from a toxic or unfaithful union is sometimes the healthiest decision.

In Nigerian culture, divorce still carries stigma, especially for women.

But as human rights lawyer Selena Onuoha argues, “No one should be imprisoned in a marriage that breaks them emotionally or psychologically.”

Protect yourself legally, financially

In Nigeria, where many marriages are not formally registered, legal awareness is crucial. If separation or divorce is the path chosen, consult a lawyer.

Issues like property rights, custody, and financial maintenance need to be addressed early.

Women, in particular, should be aware of their entitlements under the Matrimonial Causes Act and customary laws that may apply in their locality.

Silence or delay can result in being short-changed in settlements.

Choose healing, not just reaction

Cheating hurts. It stings the soul and disorients the heart. But it does not have to define your life. The key is not simply to react, but to respond with clarity, wisdom, and a deep commitment to your own emotional well-being.

Whether you choose to forgive or to walk away, let the decision be rooted in self-respect, not societal pressure.

Infidelity may fracture trust, but it also reveals the cracks that were already there. For many, it becomes the beginning of healing, not the end of hope.

02/07/2025

Building financial discipline on low income.

Financial discipline on a modest income is tough but possible. With smart budgeting, saving even small amounts, avoiding bad debt, and tapping into community support, every Nigerian can take control of their money and build a secure future, writes TEMITOPE AINA

Living on modest income

In today’s Nigeria, where inflation and job insecurity dominate the headlines, the idea of financial discipline may seem unrealistic for many people. From the young graduate on a starter salary of N70,000 to the market trader managing unpredictable daily earnings, modest income earners are often left wondering if saving or planning for the future is even possible. Yet, more than ever, financial discipline is not a luxury for the rich; it is a survival tool for the average Nigerian trying to stay afloat in a volatile economy.

What financial discipline really means

Financial discipline simply means being intentional about your money. It involves controlling your spending habits, prioritising essential needs over fleeting desires, setting financial goals, and resisting the urge to live above your means. While this may sound easier said than done, especially when every naira is already allocated before it arrives, it is achievable with the right mindset and practices. In fact, those who earn modest incomes tend to appreciate the value of money more, and with consistent effort, they can build strong financial habits that serve them well in the long run.

Track your spending with a budget

The first step towards financial discipline is knowing where your money goes. Many people underestimate how much they spend monthly, particularly on small but frequent purchases like airtime, snacks, and unplanned transport fares. Creating a simple monthly budget, even on paper, can offer clarity. A zero-based budget, for example, forces you to assign every naira a purpose, covering needs such as rent, food, transport, savings, and even miscellaneous expenses. This approach ensures that nothing is left idle, and it minimises impulse spending. When you give your money a job before it arrives, you’re less likely to waste it.

Distinguish needs from wants

Beyond budgeting, another key aspect of financial discipline is learning to separate needs from wants. In an age of social media pressure and rising consumerism, it’s easy to convince yourself that you “deserve” new clothes, frequent takeouts, or expensive hair extensions even when your account says otherwise. While there’s nothing wrong with treating yourself occasionally, doing so at the expense of rent, utility bills, or future security is financially reckless. A helpful strategy is to implement the 24-hour rule: before making any non-essential purchase, wait a full day to consider whether it is truly necessary. Often, you’ll realise you can do without it.

Start small, save consistently

Saving is another pillar of financial discipline and arguably the most difficult for modest earners. The myth that one must earn big to save has been debunked countless times. What matters more is consistency. Saving just N5,000 or N10,000 monthly may not seem significant at first, but over time, it builds a habit. With financial technology platforms like PiggyVest, Cowrywise, and Kuda Bank’s automated savings feature, you can even “lock” your savings and remove the temptation to spend them prematurely. Experts recommend saving at least 10 to 20 per cent of your income, but if that feels too ambitious, start with what you can afford, even if it’s just N2,000 a month.

Use goal-based saving to stay motivated

Another realistic and effective approach is to practise goal-based savings. This means saving towards a specific purpose, a December trip home, rent due in six months, or even the launch of a small side business. Having a clear goal motivates you to stay committed and makes it easier to resist unnecessary expenses. It also reduces the chances of dipping into your savings out of boredom or peer pressure.

Find ways to earn more

Speaking of side businesses, increasing your income is also part of building discipline. While saving and budgeting are important, they become more powerful when paired with income growth. If you have a skill hairdressing, content writing, tailoring, graphic design, consider monetising it. Even small weekend gigs or online side hustles can supplement your primary income and relieve financial pressure. The more financial breathing room you have, the easier it becomes to plan, save, and invest.

Avoid unnecessary debt

Avoiding debt is also a major part of financial discipline. In Nigeria today, the culture of borrowing, particularly through digital loan apps, has become widespread. While borrowing may seem like a quick fix for financial gaps, it often leads to deeper problems. High interest rates, harassment from lenders, and damage to your credit reputation are just some of the risks involved. Before taking a loan, ask yourself: is it for an asset or liability? Will it generate income or take away from what you already don’t have? Only borrow when absolutely necessary, and always have a repayment plan in place.

Cut financial waste

In addition to avoiding toxic debt, it’s important to eliminate financial waste. Many Nigerians unknowingly lose thousands of naira monthly through hidden bank charges, unused subscriptions, and unplanned data purchases. Reviewing your bank statements regularly, unsubscribing from unnecessary services, and using data plans that match your actual needs can free up more money than you might expect. Every naira counts when you’re on a modest income.

One often overlooked aspect of financial discipline is community and accountability. Nigerians are naturally communal, and this can be used positively. Consider joining a trustworthy savings group or cooperative society, where members contribute fixed amounts monthly. These groups not only encourage saving but also provide moral support and sometimes even access to low-interest credit. The fear of letting the group down can keep you consistent, even when personal motivation is low.

Teach children financial discipline

For parents and guardians, building financial discipline also means passing on good money habits to children. Teaching children to save from an early age, involving them in simple budget discussions, and modelling delayed gratification can prepare them for a more secure financial future. When children understand the difference between “wants” and “needs”, they become less demanding and more appreciative of the sacrifices being made at home.

Invest in financial literacy

It is equally important to invest in financial literacy. You don’t need to have a degree in finance to make sound money decisions. Read articles, listen to personal finance podcasts, attend free financial webinars, or follow credible financial advisors on social media. The more you learn, the better equipped you are to avoid costly mistakes and grow your money wisely.

Plan for emergencies

Discipline also means planning for the long term. Many modest earners focus only on surviving today but forget to prepare for emergencies or old age. Life happens: sickness, job loss, and family tragedy. Without a financial cushion, such setbacks can push you into debt or deeper poverty. That’s why setting up an emergency fund, even if slowly, is crucial. Start small, aim for three months of basic expenses, and build gradually.

Consider basic health insurance

Another aspect of long-term thinking is insurance. While often overlooked, basic health insurance can save you from heavy out-of-pocket expenses during illness.

Many state governments now offer affordable health plans, and some HMOs cater to low-income earners. Paying N1,500 monthly for health coverage might seem like a stretch today, but it could save you from paying N50,000 during a hospital emergency tomorrow.

Automate your finances

One of the most effective ways to build and maintain financial discipline is to automate key parts of your money management. By setting up automatic transfers from your main account to a dedicated savings account or digital savings platform, you remove the temptation to spend what you intend to save. Automation makes saving effortless and consistent, which is especially important when living on a modest income where every naira counts. Similarly, automating bill payments, such as rent, utilities, or phone bills helps you avoid costly late fees and penalties, ensuring your obligations are met promptly. When saving and paying bills become automatic, they no longer rely solely on willpower or memory, creating a steady financial routine that builds discipline over time.

Review and adjust your budget

Financial circumstances are rarely static. Income levels may change due to promotions, side hustles, or periods of unemployment, while expenses can fluctuate with inflation, family needs, or lifestyle changes. Because of this, it’s crucial to treat your budget as a living document that requires regular review and adjustment. Set aside time monthly or quarterly to evaluate your income, expenses, and progress towards your financial goals. This habit allows you to identify areas where you may be overspending, reallocate funds more effectively, and respond proactively to changes in your financial situation. Adjusting your budget regularly keeps it realistic and relevant, increasing your chances of sustaining financial discipline and achieving your objectives even as your life evolves.

Discipline Is a journey

Ultimately, financial discipline is a journey, not a one-time decision. There will be setbacks, unexpected bills, emergencies, or months where saving just isn’t possible. The key is to stay consistent, keep learning, and avoid comparing your progress with others. Remember that everyone’s financial journey is different, and building discipline on a modest income is an act of quiet resilience and future planning.

In a country where survival sometimes overshadows dreams, financial discipline offers a small but powerful path to control, dignity, and hope. You may not earn a fortune today, but with discipline, you can build a foundation strong enough to carry whatever fortune comes your way tomorrow. It starts with one decision, one naira, and one goal at a time.

05/06/2025

Why South African graduates struggle to find jobs despite their degrees

The words of Nelson Mandela, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world”, have inspired generations of young South Africans to pursue university degrees with hopes of a better life.

In a nation where education has long been heralded as the pathway to success, South African graduates are increasingly finding themselves at a crossroads.

Despite years of hard work and dedication, many are left grappling with the harsh reality of unemployment, questioning whether their degrees truly hold the key to a brighter future.

As the job market becomes more competitive and saturated, the promise of higher education is beginning to feel like a distant dream for countless young South Africans.

Just ask Alonde Zolo, who poured his heart out in a viral Facebook post that has touched thousands.

“I remember the promise I made to my mom,” she wrote.

“A promise to build her a beautiful home as soon as I graduated, but life had other plans. Despite my hard work and dedication, I’m still struggling to find a job.”

Zooloo, who holds a Bachelor of Social Science in Psychology and Sociology and an Honours in Clinical Sociology, is not alone.

Thousands of South African graduates are confronting the same harsh reality: despite diligently following the conventional path of studying hard, obtaining a degree, and striving for a better future, they find employment remains frustratingly elusive

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Asive Sibeko, who graduated from CPUT with an Advanced Diploma in ICT: Applications Development in 2025, expected the world to open up post-graduation.

“I thought I’d find a job and grow in a company where I could learn more about IT. But six months after my internship, I’m still jobless,” she said.

“I do get some interviews, but then it’s rejections. Or worse, silence.”

The emotional toll is heavy.

“When I think about it, it stresses me,” Sibeko admitted.

“I start wondering, what if it takes years to get a job, or what if I never do?”

Nosipho Masondo, a 2023 Journalism graduate from DUT, has been unemployed for nearly two years.

“I feel like a failure to my parents,” she said.

“I’m supposed to be looking after them financially. I even thought of starting a fast-food tuck shop, but I don’t have the money.”

The psychological effects of prolonged unemployment are well-documented. Clinical psychologist Dr. Reitumetse Mashego said that many jobless graduates experience “chronic anxiety, depression, emotional difficulties, and even physical symptoms like sleep problems and headaches.”

“Unemployment negatively impacts one’s identity and self-worth. It leads to a diminished sense of purpose and sometimes even desperation, which can push individuals into toxic relationships or risky survival strategies.”

Graduates aren’t just facing emotional despair, they’re trapped in a system that appears structurally flawed.

Justin Durandt, Managing Director of Key Recruitment, shed light on the market forces at play.

“The graduate market has become increasingly saturated,” he explained.

“Even for entry-level roles, employers are prioritising job readiness and experience. That’s why we shifted away from graduate hiring, our clients demand more.”

This shift reveals a contradiction at the heart of South Africa’s education-employment pipeline. While government campaigns continue to promote higher education as the gateway to prosperity, the job market tells a different story. Graduates are stuck in limbo, qualified on paper but disqualified by lack of experience.

Sibeko no longer believes in the idea that education guarantees success.

“There are people with master’s degrees who’ve been unemployed for five years,” she said.

“Meanwhile, others without formal education are flourishing. So no, education is not the key to success in this country.”

Dr Mashego says families and communities must step up.

“Reassure graduates they did their best,” she urged.

“Help them explore alternative income paths, volunteering, side hustles, or skill-based initiatives like gardening or car washing. Mental health support is vital too.”

For Masondo, who has considered leaving journalism behind just to survive, the experience has changed her perspective.

“I still believe education is important,” she said.

“But young people must also consider careers with more job opportunities, even if it’s not their dream.”

As thousands of degrees gather dust in bedrooms and inboxes fill with rejection emails, one question echoes louder than ever: In a country with soaring youth unemployment and shifting industry demands, is education still the key to success, or just another locked door?

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Bill Gates says, “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” — Here’s how to finally break free from short-term thinking.

Bill Gates says, “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” — Here’s how to finally break free from short-term thinking.
May 5, 2025

Bill Gates once said something that stopped me in my tracks:

“Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.”

And honestly? He’s right.

Most of us set big goals for the year ahead — lose 10kg, start a business, get fit, learn a language, find love. But by March, life gets in the way. We get discouraged. We give up. And then we rinse and repeat the next year.

But what if the real problem isn’t that we aim too high… it’s that we think too short-term?

The truth is, thinking in decades instead of days is one of the biggest mindset shifts you can make. I’ve seen it in my own life as an entrepreneur — and in the lives of hundreds of successful people I’ve interviewed, worked with, or studied.

So if you’re stuck in a cycle of chasing quick wins and constantly falling short, here’s how to break free and finally play the long game.

1. Get brutally honest about what you truly want
Short-term thinking thrives in the absence of long-term vision.

If you don’t know where you want to be in 10 years, how can you possibly build toward it?

Take a step back and ask yourself:
If I could design my ideal life 10 years from now, what would it look like?

Where would you live? What would your workday look like? What kind of people would you be surrounded by? How would you feel on a typical Monday?

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Write it down. Be as specific as you can. Then reverse-engineer your way back from that future.

This is your compass — not a perfect plan, but a guiding direction that helps you filter out distractions and focus on what matters.

2. Embrace the power of compounding
The human brain struggles to grasp exponential growth. That’s why we expect massive results after a few weeks of effort — and get disheartened when progress is slow.

But here’s the reality: meaningful success is built on small actions repeated consistently over time.

James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, says it best:

“The effects of your habits multiply as you repeat them.”

Reading 10 pages a day doesn’t seem like much — until it becomes 12 books a year.
Investing $1,000 a month won’t make you rich overnight — but over a decade, it could mean financial freedom.
Writing 500 words a day might feel slow — but in a year, that’s a book.

Long-term thinkers understand this. They don’t chase intensity. They chase consistency.

3. Get off the dopamine treadmill
Let’s be real: most of us are addicted to short-term hits of progress.

We want the likes. The quick wins. The “hacks.”
But constantly chasing instant gratification is like trying to sprint a marathon — you burn out before you get anywhere meaningful.

If you want to think long-term, you need to get comfortable with delayed gratification. That means training your brain to find satisfaction not in immediate results, but in progress, discipline, and growth.

Start celebrating the boring stuff:

Showing up when no one’s watching

Doing the reps

Being the kind of person your future self will thank you for

See also 6 business ideas you can start with only $100 and a free weekend
4. Make peace with slow results
One of the hardest truths I’ve had to learn in business and life:
Most real success is invisible for a long time.

It doesn’t show up in your bank account after a few months. It doesn’t trend on social media. It doesn’t even feel “successful” at first.

But every day you show up, you’re laying bricks.

And one day, you look up and realize… you’ve built something.
A body you’re proud of.
A business that runs itself.
A life you love waking up to.

But only if you can resist the urge to quit before the results start compounding.

5. Use short-term goals as stepping stones — not destinations
This might sound contradictory — but setting short-term goals isn’t the problem. The problem is treating them as the endgame.

Instead, reframe them as checkpoints. Each year isn’t a finish line — it’s just another step toward the bigger picture.

Ask yourself:
Does this goal move me closer to my 10-year vision? Or is it just a distraction dressed as productivity?

Make sure your short-term efforts are aligned with your long-term purpose. Otherwise, you’ll wake up in 10 years having worked really hard… but gone nowhere.

6. Surround yourself with people who think long-term
Here’s something I’ve noticed after over a decade in entrepreneurship:
Your environment can either anchor you to short-term thinking — or elevate you beyond it.

If everyone around you is chasing status symbols, get-rich-quick schemes, or social media validation… it’s almost impossible not to do the same.

But if you surround yourself with people who are quietly building, staying patient, and thinking 10 years ahead — that mindset becomes contagious.

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Long-term thinking is a kind of discipline. And like any discipline, it gets easier when you’re not doing it alone.

Final thoughts
Most people live their lives on one-year loops. They set goals in January, give up by March, and do it all over again the next year.

Don’t be most people.

The biggest wins — in health, wealth, relationships, and purpose — aren’t found in the next 12 weeks. They’re found in the small, boring actions you take every day… that quietly transform your life over the next decade.

So next time you’re tempted to judge yourself by this week’s progress, remember Bill Gates’ advice.

And instead of asking, “How much can I do this year?”
Start asking, “What could my life look like in 10?”

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