30/04/2025
Dated this Swati girl who'd randomly fart and blame it on eggs. Thing is, her farts were umshosha phansi, you know those silent ones. I'd be having a nice romantic moment with her, and boom you inhale some foul stench 😭 then she goes "Eish nglamaqandza" yooo 😭
At first I didn't mind, our relationship is still new, I thought she's that comfortable with me. Second time, we had done a picnic at a park, hau the same thing happens, "Yati lentfo yekudla maqandza ne" lapho she's saying it in a dismissive manner, like it's not a big deal.
One time we were in a taxi, ngezwa sekunuka, I knew it's her. People were opening windows, I looked at her, she looked at me back, and whispered "QANDZA" 😭😭 that's when my hatred for eggs began 🤬
But hey I loved her, so we had met three times already, it was time for her to come for a sleep over. I made sure that there's no eating of eggs. She arrived on Friday, angsaphefumuli kamnandi, cos she can attack anytime 🤦🏾♂️ but I'm thinking maybe sekasuzile for the day. Ahh immediately after thinking that, ngezwa ngephunga selehla ngentamo 😭 I heard her say to herself "Muntfu kmele ayeke maqandza" like bro you're only realizing that namuhla.
In the morning, I made breakfast, there was no eggs on sight. We ate, finished, and all seemed to be going well. I went to the shop to buy disprin cos she complained about headache, when I came back, the entire bedroom was smelling umsuzo 😭 I looked at her, wondering what her excuse would be this time around, guess what she said.
"Nglama QANDZA leng'towadla emini" 😭🤬
