09/09/2025
In My Kasi, We Had a Haunted Uncle 😭👀
There was this uncle in our kasi, 97 years old, called uMalume Bheki. Everyone knew he was weird. He always walked around at night, talking to himself, drinking tea with no sugar, and claiming he could see abantu abangasekho (the dead).
One night, his family heard loud banging in the kitchen. They ran in thinking it’s tsotsis. Instead, they found Malume sitting in the dark, laughing, with 6 teacups in front of him — all empty.
They asked:
“Malume, why so many cups?”
He replied calmly:
“I’m not drinking alone. Your ancestors are thirsty too.”
😳😳😳
From that day, things got scary. Lights flickering. Chairs moving. Pots boiling with no fire. Even the dog refused to go inside the house.
Then one night he shouted from his bedroom:
“Ehh! Stop pulling my feet, man! I’m not ready to join you!”
The family ran in, only to find his bed floating slightly off the ground, rocking like a taxi on speed humps.
💀💀💀
Neighbours said:
“Hayi, that house is cursed. Malume is dining with ghosts.”
At the clinic, nurses tried to check him but the BP machine kept breaking. The doctor said:
“This man doesn’t have a heartbeat. He has… background noise.”
Another time, they thought he died. His body was stiff, eyes closed. They prepared for the funeral. Coffin bought. Posters printed. Cow slaughtered.
Day of the funeral? As they carried the coffin out, they heard a voice inside:
“Guys, where are you taking me? Put me down, I haven’t finished my tea!”
😱😱😱
People dropped the coffin and ran across the street. Even the pastor fell into the neighbour’s swimming pool trying to escape.
From then on, nobody wanted to help bury him. They said:
“Lo Malume uzovuka eCemetery. Next thing, he’s knocking on our doors at midnight asking for sugar!”
Eventually, when he finally died (for real), the funeral was silent. No music. No crying. Just whispers. Even the cows were quiet.
But legend says… at 3am, near the graveyard, people still hear him saying:
“Pass the teabag, comrade. My ancestors are still thirsty.”
