01/05/2025
WHAT ADVICE WOULD I GIVE MY YOUNGER SELF?
BY MS CHARITY LUMPA
When Pastor Ntalasha asked me to write a short article for his Arise Magazine I was at a crossroads about what I should really be talking about. At my age there have been so many varied experiences that to pick the right one or two things is a monumental task: there’s just so much to talk about.
When he told me the target audience are the youth, teens and generally young people I reflected back to a time when I was in my mid-twenties. That was a time fraught with insecurities, doubts and significant challenges. So, I am asking myself, knowing what I know now, what would I tell my younger self? Here are the top 10 things I would advise myself on.
1. Be accountable to God.
It goes without saying that unless you are accountable to God you work in vain. We are told in Colossians 3:23-24 that ‘whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ’. It is also said in the scriptures that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Ultimately, you develop strong integrity and an equally solid work ethic. Eccelesiastes 12: 13 ‘…Fear God and keep His commandments, for this is the whole duty of man’.
2. It’s okay to be different.
It is a commonly held belief that the differently abled are people with special needs or require special attention. What people don’t see is that every person is differently abled – be it mentally or skills wise. As young people we tend to beat ourselves up when we appear to be ‘different’ from others. Over the years I have learned that it is okay to be different from other people. We are created differently and as 1 Corinthians 12 tells us “…God made our bodies with many parts, and He has put each part just where He wants it.” We are therefore being told to use the gifts we have been given judiciously and encourage others to use theirs. 1 Timothy 4: 11-12 ‘ let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity’.
3. Hold yourself responsible for how you react to what happens to you.
I am the only one responsible for how I react to what happens to me. Even though I have no control of what others do to me, I am the only one responsible for how I react to any failures, challenges or successes. It is my decision to either react negatively by becoming angry or offended; or to react positively by choosing to learn from the experience. If we fell down as babies learning to walk and never got back up, we would all still be crawling. But we got up. Now. We. Walk. Run. And. Jump. Matthew 12: 36-37.
4. Be accountable for your successes and failures.
Similar to (3) above, you need to take ownership of your successes and failures. Both are a platform for you to learn and grow. The only failure in life is when you fail to move on from your failures; when you stop trying; and when you fail to do something out of fear. Ultimately, the choice is yours and yours alone. Please remember that there is ‘no right way of doing a wrong thing’ and that one needs to ‘cooperate with the inevitable’. The prayer by St Francis of Assisi says it all: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference”.
5. Be knowledgeable about your work.
It is said information is power and that ‘reading to the mind is what exercise is to the body’. For as long as you work on the peripheries of what you know without taking the time to read widely and deeply about your subject matter or critical elements of your job, you will tread water all your life. Empower yourself and read a book and learn what else there is about your job or your business so that you can excel. What you did excellently yesterday is only today’s minimum. Keep moving your intellectual and professional boundaries and being current – about your job, your employer, your business, your nation. Whatever is needed you need to have good working knowledge and that will help you to stand head and shoulders above your peers. 2 Peter 1:5 ‘ And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge’.
6. Don’t just work hard, work smartly.
When you are working don’t just work hard, remember to work smartly too. It saves time and helps you to manage effectiveness and efficiency. Working hard means, for example, taking 2 hours to do an assignment. Working smart means reaching out for more information or assistance; this will allow you to finish your work assignment in 45 minutes. It’s important to remember that ‘no man is an island’ and that there is no ‘I’ in team work. ‘No man is an island’ because you can’t succeed on your own; learn to work with and through others as part of a team.
7. Set your long-term goals with milestones.
I remember telling myself at the tender age of 30 years old that I will be a Managing Director at 40 years old and will have a nice healthy balance in my savings account. It is critical to your personal advancement whether in a job or business to set out your goals as these are the beacons towards which you will direct your efforts in the work place or your business. Milestones could be the activities you will need to get to your ultimate goal(s). In my case I pursued my MBA in Finance as well as ensured I enrolled in leadership courses. Proverbs 21: 5 ‘The plans of hard-working people earn a profit, but those who act too quickly become poor’.
8. Be intentional about achieving your dream of where you want to be at 40.
Sometimes people set goals, have big dreams and hope and pray that they’ll come true by divine intervention or whatever else one believes in. No, sorry. It does not work like that. You have to intentionally set about to achieve that goal or that dream. You need to network smartly, learn the art of conversation, and learn how not to sit at the back in a meeting - sit near the decision makers and wow them with your sharp mind and questions without showing any unnecessary fear about speaking up and/or answering questions – but do remember to listen actively whilst respecting other speakers by not interrupting them. All in all, you need to have a ‘fire in the belly’ mentality and be hungry for your success. You need to act and not just hope for a ‘miracle’ to secure your aspirations and dreams. Proverbs 10:4 ‘ A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich’.
9. Strive to be a leader by firstly ‘leading’ yourself.
If you are unable to lead and manage yourself how can you expect to be a leader of others? Be an example to others and always ensure that you are able to change your people’s attitudes and behaviors by showing them that you do it to yourself first (Acts 20:28 ‘keep watch over yourselves and all the flock which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers’). So, make sure you have plenty self-love as that will help you to also become genuinely interested in other people - Mark 12: 31 ‘you shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these’.
10. Have fun working and don’t take yourself too seriously.
We spend at least eight hours in a day at work. It is hard enough to spend so much time at the work place and succeed in your career. It is even worse when you are not even able to have fun in the workplace and after hours. So, organize those Friday staff ‘cocktails’ in the company or for your department – everybody can either contribute something small and put together a ‘whip’ – and then celebrate the day as a TGIF (thank God it’s Friday)! You could also ensure that every month you have a team building event either offsite or at the company premises, and so on. This not only lets everybody to get to know one another as a form of networking, but also allows each one to get to understand her or his colleagues in a collegial manner. When this happens hopefully tensions ease and relationships as work mates greatly improve. Eccelesiastes 2: 24 ‘there is nothing better for a person than that he should eat and drink and find enjoyment in his toil. This also, I saw, is from the hand of God.’
