12/01/2026
A few days ago, I had a conversation with a very young man—first year at university. Somewhere in the middle of our discussion, he asked a question I know lives quietly in the hearts of many single Christians.
He asked, “When is the right time to start dating seriously?”
And honestly, it’s a valid question.
Men ask it. Women ask it.
And Scripture, interestingly, does not give us an age. There is no verse that says, “At 18 you may date,” or “At 25 you must court.” So this is not about numbers.
It’s about readiness.
Here is the principle the Holy Spirit has consistently brought me back to:
You have no business talking about marriage when someone else is still responsible for your life.
The Bible says, “For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife.”
That word leave matters.
Leaving speaks of independence, responsibility, and capacity.
It speaks of the ability to stand on your own—emotionally, financially, spiritually.
If you cannot yet take care of yourself, that is a clear signal that you are not ready to take responsibility for another person’s life.
And this is where we must be honest—especially in the church.
It has become normal to see teenagers and students saying, “This is my boyfriend,” “This is my girlfriend,” while their parents are paying school fees, providing food, shelter, and direction. Yet futures are being planned with someone else’s child.
That is not wisdom.
That is emotion without preparation.
Let me be clear: maturity is not the same for everyone. Some people grow faster emotionally—and that’s true. But emotions alone are not readiness.
If you are in a season where your primary assignment is to learn, to grow, to build skill, character, discipline, and direction—then that is your focus. Especially if you are still fully dependent on parents or guardians.
Even for university students: if you have just entered and someone else is carrying the full weight of your life, this is not the season to make promises you cannot sustain.
Dating with marriage in mind carries weight:
Emotional responsibility
Financial responsibility
Spiritual leadership
Accountability
If you are not ready to carry that weight, you are not late.
You are simply not ready.
And that is okay.
There is wisdom in waiting until you can stand.
Until you can make decisions without running back home.
Until you are becoming the kind of person who can build, lead, and sustain a family—not just desire one.
Love is beautiful.
Marriage is honorable.
But timing matters.
Don’t rush into seasons you have not been prepared for.
Do the work now—so that when love finds you, you are not learning responsibility inside the relationship.
Preparation is never wasted.