04/07/2025
*THE PASTOR’S SECRET*
*By Pastor Promise Ikpe*
Pastor Emeka had just gotten married to Sister Mary. Their union was the product of prayer, prophetic confirmations, and genuine affection.
Everyone agreed—Mary was God’s will for him. She loved and respected him, and their early days of marriage overflowed with passion. They could barely stay away from each other, making love multiple times a day and enjoying the bliss of young love.
But soon, cracks began to show.
Mary became increasingly unhappy with one thing: Emeka did not share in household chores. She had grown up in a home where her brothers helped in the kitchen, cleaned, and shared domestic responsibilities. To her, marriage was a partnership—not just spiritually and emotionally, but practically as well.
Though they had discussed this before marriage—and Emeka had made it clear he wasn’t raised that way—Mary had secretly hoped he would change. When he didn’t, she decided to force the change.
Her weapon? Intimacy.
She stopped initiating s*x. When Emeka tried, she would negotiate:
*“Help me in the kitchen first… then we can talk about that.”*
Sometimes he agreed to keep the peace. Other times, he walked away—tired and defeated.
When that didn’t work, she turned to shame.
*“You’re not a good husband,”* she would say. *“Even my younger brother knows how to sweep.”*
The constant criticism slowly drained Emeka. He began to feel emasculated.
He pulled away emotionally, and then, physically.
---
Emeka’s upbringing had been different. He wasn’t trained in domestic work. After school, he went straight to the family’s factory to help his father. At home, his mother and sisters handled the house. It wasn’t laziness—it was simply the world he knew.
But Mary believed she could transform him.
Unfortunately, her approach—nagging, withholding intimacy, and treating him like a stubborn child—only widened the gulf between them.
Their home grew cold. The once-burning love turned into icy silence.
Mary held on to her belief: *“No chores, no s*x.”*
And Emeka, desperate for connection, began to seek it elsewhere.
---
He created a secret social media profile under a fake name. That’s where he met *Cherry*.
Cherry was lonely too. She didn’t ask too many questions. She was warm, open, and made Emeka feel seen. Their chats turned into calls. Their calls turned into meetings. Before long, a hidden relationship began.
Cherry didn’t care that Emeka was a pastor—or that he was married. She just wanted the affection he was willing to give. Emeka, starved for respect and admiration, clung to her like a lifeline.
Back home, Mary remained cold and critical. Intimacy was a reward for chores done. Her voice was more of a mother’s scold than a lover’s whisper.
He had once suggested hiring a housekeeper.
But Mary had shut it down:
*“You’re not marrying a slave.”*
Still, Emeka knew what peace looked like—he had tasted it with Cherry.
---
Then came the twist.
Cherry fell in love. She wanted more than secret meetings. She began digging and soon discovered the truth: Pastor Emeka was married—to Mary.
Her heart broke—but her obsession grew. She wanted him fully.
So she got pregnant—intentionally.
When she told Emeka, he was devastated. But Cherry wasn’t going anywhere.
*“Marry me,”* she said. *“I’ll remain your secret, but I won’t let go.”*
Eventually, Emeka caved. He married Cherry in secret—while continuing his public life as a pastor and husband to Mary.
But Mary noticed the shift—the lies, the distance, the strange absences.
Eventually, she discovered the truth.
---
“You betrayed me!” she screamed when she confronted him. Divorce seemed inevitable.
Part of Emeka welcomed it. He was tired of the cold war at home. Cherry hoped Mary would go through with it—so she could finally lay full claim to the man she had stolen.
But as the matter escalated, Emeka faced a brutal choice: end things with Cherry to save his marriage—or lose everything.
He wrestled.
*“Even if I leave Cherry,”* he thought, *“what am I returning to? A wife who controls me with s*x and never respects me?”*
---
Mary, broken by the betrayal, sought counsel. She visited an elderly Christian woman—someone seasoned by her own experiences of love and loss.
The woman looked at her gently and said:
> “My daughter, never use s*x as a tool to control a man. It is meant to be a bond, not a weapon.
> Only the Holy Spirit can transform a man. You can’t even change yourself without His help.
> If the work is too much, hire a househelp—as your husband suggested.”
Those words pierced Mary’s heart. For the first time, she saw her fault.
She had spent more time trying to change her husband than love him. She had disrespected him, punished him, and treated him like a project.
She chose surrender.
---
Mary began to speak to Emeka with honor. She dropped her demands. She stopped using intimacy as leverage. She quietly resumed the chores she once weaponized.
And slowly… the warmth returned.
Emeka began to feel safe again.
In time, he ended things with Cherry—not because he was pressured to, but because his heart had come home.
Yet consequences remained.
Cherry had borne his child. She would always be a part of their story. Her presence was a living reminder of what could have been avoided.
But in that pain, something sacred was reborn.
Emeka and Mary found grace. They found healing. They rediscovered true partnership—not through control or perfection, but through humility, forgiveness, and the redemptive power of love.
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