
12/07/2025
This is next level craziness đđ
Warning: This story is 100% ridiculous â and 110% real(ish).
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James Mack was your average 40-year-old man.
Divorced. Balding. Addicted to Diet Coke and conspiracy forums.
He also had one small problemâŚ
His ex-girlfriend, Sabrina, had blocked him on everything â phone, Facebook, Gmail, Venmo, MySpace, even Pinterest.
And after James showed up at her yoga class dressed as a cactus (donât ask), she filed a restraining order.
But James⌠wasnât done.
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Cue the midlife crisis from hell.
James sold his Honda Civic, took out a second mortgage on his motherâs house (she still doesnât know), and flew to Tijuana for 37 plastic surgeries.
Nose reshaped. Cheekbones lifted. Hairline rebooted. Chin removed. Chin re-added. Lips? Extra.
When the surgeons asked for reference photos, James handed them a Calvin Klein underwear ad and said,
âMake me⌠that.â
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By 2018, James was unrecognizable.
He looked 22, had a jawline that could cut glass, and was now legally named Jason Monroe.
He returned to his hometown and slid into Sabrinaâs DMs with the smoothest line known to humankind:
âhey đ u cute lolâ
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It worked.
For months, Jason Monroe and Sabrina dated.
She kept saying,
âYou remind me of someone⌠you even smell like Axe body spray and delusion.â
Jason just smiled.
But every time she mentioned her ex James, he fake-gagged and said,
âEw, that guy? Didnât he try to start a cryptocurrency called âLoveCoinâ?â
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It all fell apart during a dinner date when Jason sneezed⌠and his nose briefly detached.
Sabrina screamed,
âJAMES?!â
He tried to run, but one of his cheek implants fell out mid-sprint and caused him to trip over a salad bar.
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Heâs currently banned from every plastic surgery clinic in the U.S.
And Sabrina is dating a dentist named Greg who has zero aliases and 100% original cartilage.
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Moral of the story:
If she files a restraining order, maybe⌠just maybe⌠sheâs not âplaying hard to get.â
Sheâs playing please stay away forever, James.
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