22/08/2025
Dear friends,
As you may know, my mum has dementia. It's been a steady progression into the disease and whilst she is mostly healthy and happy, her condition has meant my sister and I have had to take action and make some big decisions about her future care.
Mum was actually doing quite well the last 4-6 months. We had got her into a good routine of regular weekly social activities and hydrotherapy and between myself, my sister and another friend/carer, we were able to ensure mum was getting 3 meals a day, her washing done, and showering regularly.
Unfortunately she began wandering - during the day and night - looking for people. In one instance she accidentally locked herself out of her home in the middle of the night. It was quite frightening for her, and for all of us too. If this has happened to one of your loved ones, then I'm sure you know what I mean.
Anyway, we were advised that because of the risk associated with this behaviour, someone would need to move in with mum or she would have to go into permanent residential care.
Moving in with her wasn't an option (for various reasons), so I investigated the idea of moving to a new rental where she could live with me. I looked at one rental but my application was not accepted. There weren't many other houses available to suit our needs so I had to abandon this idea and we were left with the option of moving her into Barossa Village.
She had gone into respite care at Barossa Village on the 1st of July so it was simply a matter of making the decision to make that a permanent move. Next came the process of packing up her unit, selling furniture, donating items to the op shop, and my sister and me storing what we felt was important to keep in our own homes.
It had only been a year since we had sold and moved her out of her main home, so going through this process again brought up a lot of emotions. It was something I wasn't really ready for. I had hoped she would be able to live 'independently' for another 6-12 months.
Although it was a difficult decision to make, I think, in the long run, it has been the right choice. Mum is now surrounded by people so she is never completely alone. She has 24/7 care and a room she can call her own. There are safe outdoor spaces and even a few chickens which she loves watching and listening to as they peck around the garden.
I'm grateful that this facility exists in our community. I'm gradually getting used to visiting mum here and thankfully we still have the opportunity to take her on outings to her favourite places in the Barossa like Maggie Beer's Farm Shop, Tanunda Bakery, Wohlers and the beautiful Wonderground art gallery.
Each day brings it changes and challenges for mum. As her children, my sister and I are witnesses to the gradual process that is inevitable with this disease. It hurts to see her go through this, especially knowing that eventually she will forget who we are. At the moment, it's a joy to see how she lights up when I arrive for a visit. I'll take that as a win for now and do my best to enjoy these times we have together (even though it can be sad and frustrating at the same time).
In all honesty, I never thought I would be in this position of caring for my mother. Was that naive and selfish? Perhaps it was hopeful.
If you are experiencing something similar, or have already gone through this experience with a loved one, please let me know. Sharing our experiences is important so we can learn and navigate these challenges together.
Warmly,
Leah 🙏🏼🩷☺️
