The Monsters In My Head

28/04/2025

It’s not loneliness, it’s isolation and disconnectedness…it’s an inability to truly connect and relate on a basic human level.

I want to connect and interrelate but the paths are worlds apart, there cannot be a crossover, it’s impossible.

There is no common ground.

28/04/2025

Surrounded by beautiful people and completely alone…the irony.

28/04/2025

It can be going so well for so long, then without rhyme or reason…smack across the face, heart wrenching loneliness, stress and despair take hold.

The constant fight is too much some days.

How does it end…when and where…absolute conviction that tomorrow will be better.

12/01/2025

Aaaarrrrgggghhhh

27/12/2024

25/11/2022

I’ve been good for a long time now, a long time but as I increase my stress levels I can see the little cracks begin to appear.

I work diligently everyday to stay well and it keeps me strong…but those little cracks cause more stress, more anxiety and more uncertainty and then cracks begin to widen.

22/05/2018

I used to despise these meds, I used to hate them so much I’d flush them down the toilet and tell everyone I was taking my meds. Then I cured myself and didn’t need meds anymore, about eight years completely medication free, working my guts out on the mental, emotional, spiritual and physical aspects of my being to “avoid” going back onto meds and it worked brilliantly, until the day that it didn’t.

Luckily I have found the most fantastic Doctor and Psychiatrist and they have been working with me to get the meds just right, minimizing side effects whilst maximus gets therapeutic benefits and it works, it is working.

The meds are a part of my life for now and I’m okay with that, because I have watched them help to save me in conjunction with all of my strategies for self love, wellness and self help and the supplements l have added to the meds I am growing stronger and now working (with my Doctors) toward coming off most, if not all of my meds once more.

I am grateful for this medication and these progressive team of specialists that help me.
Love N

06/05/2018

I might have this thing for life, but there’s no way in hell this thing will have my life.
There is so much we can do to help ourselves, understand our condition and create strategies to allow a full and complete life.
Embracing all of me including the darkness and the monsters, accepting and understanding, forgiving and loving myself, all so important.
I am not broken, I am whole, I am love and I am me.

29/03/2018

Travelled in the car for 10 hours today to country Victoria to visit friends. Friends that are basically family.

They have supported me and my family more than once as we gone through the heartache and pain.

I feel so blessed to have these people in my life and more so, the lives of my family.

These friends that don’t judge and simply love mean the world.

Looking forward to great hugs, conversations and some water time.

25/03/2018

How good is this! This guy went the whole way today despite how much it hurt and how much he wanted it to be over. Thanks to everyone that helped to make it happen and that supported him the whole way around the course. He loved it and especially loved being presented with his gold medal!

19/03/2018

Strategy of mine is to lean into who I am, lean into what I am challenged by everyday of my life and I lean into this diagnosis.

I am me, all the different parts that come together to create the unique and marvelous me.

I value who I am, ALL of who I am.