21/05/2025
I recently read an article about helping children thrive by teaching them to be problem solvers who don't give up when things get tough.
The article provided an example of what this looks like in practice, and it resonated with me in my role as a mediator.
The example was two children arguing over a toy. By having a thoughtful, trusted teacher step in and support them, the children learned to voice their frustrations in a positive way. They were encouraged to problem-solve and learned to respond in a healthy and positive manner. The teacher was intentional and understood each child and the problem.
This example brought to mind our role in mediation.
Granted, our clients are older, but they still need guidance to help them voice their frustrations positively and be encouraged to become problem-solving-focused.
Regardless of age, when reacting to a stressful experience, the emotional brain is often in control, and the logical, rational brain can become inaccessible.
These situations are where our training and skills come into play. For example, in a property mediation, each party can easily slip into a default position of reacting due to their history. One party may respond with 'emotional brain' while the other responds with 'front-brain logic'.
Guiding parties through a property mediation is where all our skills and knowledge come into play.
A strong Intake is an invaluable tool for getting to know each party, gaining insight into their perception of the conflict, and avoiding unpleasant surprises.
'Emotional processing' is about engaging with the emotional brain by being responsive and empathic and validating their emotions by naming them. For example, "I can see you are feeling frustrated because (name the situation)". Take the time to validate, and don't hurry them through their emotions.
In your role as mediator, you can help the parties see that there are options to explore. For example, you might look for objective standards and criteria to guide solution development.
Even though they may feel they are still in the wilderness, parties can then see that there are paths from which they have some power to choose.
But it's not only our clients who benefit from being guided through a challenging situation. As mediators, we can always benefit from expanding our knowledge, stepping away from our habitual responses, and learning from those with tremendous experience.
If you're ready to learn more ways to help your clients through property mediation, please join us on the 13th and 14th June at our live, online Masterclass.
Led by highly experienced mediators with over 20 years in practice, this two-day training will provide practical skills you will master through mentoring and role-play. At the end of this training, you will immediately apply all that you've learned and confidently guide your clients through their mediation.
Find out more and register: https://loom.ly/Hf4j6GM