01/09/2026
And just like my UK tour never happened: I’m home. 🏠🩵🫶
I woke up at 3am and considered a 4hr sleep a win after such a long overseas trip. My house is uncharacteristically silent at 3am, so I got up and soaked it all in. Pottering around in my lovely, old weatherboard home that’s falling down around me, I sipped on black coffee and made my kids’ school lunches. I usually hate making their fiddly lunches, but this morning it made me feel quite emotional. 🥲
All three of my kids have grown since I left three weeks ago (which I specifically asked them not to do, but no one listens to women, so I shouldn’t be surprised).
A lot of my comedy is about how relentless being a mum is, and this post is certainly not denying that. It IS relentless - the driving, the appointments, the groceries, the school emails, the cleaning, the homework, the guilt, the tutoring, the activities, the play dates, the snacks, the trivial injustices, the bargaining, the nagging, the Hot Wheels, the squishies, the impossible-to-live-without lip glosses, the missing puzzle pieces the bloody dog almost definitely ate, BUT… I choose this. I’ll choose it until it isn’t mine to choose anymore.
One day there will be no school lunches to make, and on that day I will laugh maniacally and throw their lunchboxes into a bonfire to celebrate. But I know there will be a part of me that will miss a lot of this chaos - as hard as it is. Because no matter what some older people whose memories have warped and mutated, it IS f**ken hard and I am absolutely exhausted. I certainly won’t miss all of it (hello sleep training, toilet training, being an unpaid slave etc.), but as I sit in the stillness of my sleepy house, I know I’ll miss most of it. 🥹
✅ Don’t worry, my next post will be about how I can’t wait for my kids to move out. It’s my inconsistencies that make me who I am. And PSA: never feel guilty about hating the s**t bits. If you loved all the bits, you’d be clinically insane. Trust me, I’m a doctor.
Have a lovely day, mates! Xx
