14/05/2025
ALL ABOARD...
Rusticoq
That moment when your partner gives you the look. You know the one—the subtle eyebrow raise, that awkward attempt at smouldering eyes, maybe even a sneaky hand slide across your leg. The “Hey babe… you up for it?” look.
And there you are, frozen in place, giving them your look in return. The one that screams: Are. You. Kidding. Me?
Because suddenly, like a Netflix recap, the flashbacks start rolling in. Last Tuesday, you’d just come home from a brutal day at work, your soul hanging on by a thread and you really just needed them to listen—really listen—to you vent about how your boss made you so upset in the break room. But instead of a hug or a “That sounds rough,” you got the infamous: “It’s not a big deal, just ignore it. Here’s what you should do…”
Then there was Thursday. You needed backup with the kids—just five minutes of adult tag-team energy before your head exploded. And what did you get? A snapped “What do you think I’m doing? Sitting on my arse doing nothing?”
Oh, and let’s not forget Saturday night. You needed a cuddle. Just a little, warm “I’ve got you” kind of moment. But they were halfway into a binge-watch and dropped the emotional equivalent of a cold fish: “Can it wait? My show’s on.”
And now, here we are. They’re feeling frisky. You’re feeling emotionally abandoned, physically exhausted, and held together by dry shampoo and a packet of chips. Intimacy? In this economy?
Let me be real with you—when your emotional tank is on E, it’s pretty damn hard to flip the switch into “let’s get it on” mode. Because without emotional connection, without feeling safe, seen or supported, intimacy starts to feel like another job. And girl, you’ve already worked three today.
This, my friends, is what I affectionately call Rusticoq Syndrome.
Yep. Say it again. R.U.S.T.I.C.O.Q.
You start off full of spark and steam—oiled-up cogs, fresh energy, the whole sexy shebang. But over time, if the emotional intimacy isn’t nurtured, those gears start grinding. Things get clunky. The spark sputters. And suddenly, you're in a relationship where physical intimacy becomes rare, awkward, or worse—resentful. Hello, Rusticoq.
As a couples counsellor (and let’s be honest, a long-term partner myself), I’ve seen it time and time again. Heck, I’ve lived it. Because if you don’t take time to oil those cogs with compassion, connection and actual conversation, you’re basically signing up for a front-row seat to the Rusticoq theatre—where everyone’s tired, no one’s getting laid, and nobody remembers how to talk about it.
But here’s the good news: Rusticoq Syndrome is reversible. You don’t need magic. You don’t need rose petals on the bed or a five-course aphrodisiac dinner. (Though hey, if someone’s cooking, I won’t say no.) What you do need is emotional connection—the real kind. The “How are you really?” kind. The “I see you, and I’ve got your back” kind. The small, everyday acts of showing up for each other—not just when you’re hoping for a bit of action, but when your partner needs a hug, a hand or just five minutes of your undivided attention.
Yes, it takes effort. Yes, it means talking about the hard stuff, even when it’s awkward. And yes, it means making space for both of your emotional needs—even when life is chaotic.
But the payoff? Worth it. Because when that emotional connection is flowing, the physical spark often follows right behind—without the awkward eyebrow raises.
So, if you want to avoid the dreaded rusticoq and keep things spicy, start by getting emotionally naked first. Drop the armour, bring the empathy, and show up for your partner in the moments that don’t end in the bedroom. That’s how you build a love that doesn’t just survive—it thrives.
Now go. Oil those cogs. Save your relationship from the rusticoq. And maybe—just maybe—you’ll feel like giving them that look back.
www.blissfulconnection.com.au
Here’s to more love, laughter and blissful connections!
Joy xx
