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Snarky Gherkin, Pyalong (2026)

11/01/2026

BREAKING: SNARKY GHERKIN CRUSHES ONE NATION IN LATEST TWO-PARTY PREFERRED POLL.

DemosAU recently published a poll asking voters to “imagine a head-to-head scenario between Labor and One Nation”...

A preference lean, not a first vote.

Conducted online. Sample size: 1,027.

Roughly 513 people clicked a box for One Nation with a chunk of those likely being LNP voters who simply prefer Pauline over Albo when forced to pick one. That’s not a mass defection. It's a hypothetical shrug.

Meanwhile, 3,200+ people have responded to MY poll. 2,800+ of them backed a cartoon pickle.

Only 36 backed One Nation.

More people voted for a smug anthropomorphic vegetable in a Facebook meme than Pauline Hanson in a real-world commissioned poll.

This goes to show that when you target questions just right, you’ll often get the answer you’re hoping for.

One Nation’s polling isn’t a groundswell.

It’s an illusion built on vague hypotheticals and leading options. It’s the political version of holding a mirror up to your own echo chamber and calling it “the silent majority".

11/01/2026

📊 SUNDAY POLL:

WHO WOULD YOU RATHER AS PM?

React with:

❤️ for Snarky Gherkin... a smug cartoon pickle in a suit who can't be bribed with a meat tray.

😢 for Pauline Hanson... who legally can’t be PM.

Let’s see if my poll outperforms One Nation’s Telegram survey of “people who already agreed with them.”

10/01/2026

Staying overseas for a moment...

Over in the UK, the Bristol chapter of the “Enough is Enough” movement managed to turn out a dozen confused uncles and half a Telegram group chat… only to get outnumbered by police.

They were outnumbered by the people there to protect them.

Even the local pigeons weren’t bothered.

This is the British equivalent of “March for Australia” or “Put Australia First”... same sweaty flags, same recreational rage, same incoherence and same awkward silence when asked to name a single policy.

I once sat next to a bloke in a Bristol pub nicknamed Big Keith.
Keith had more crusty pork scratching crumbs under his fingernails than this lot had people in attendance.

Whilst it's not exactly Banksy-worthy or inspiring, if he did sketch something to represent the movement, it’d be a rat vomiting into a Greggs bag while reading a Daily Mail headline.

We’re calling this one a Fizzer.

10/01/2026

This is an actual headline in 2026.

And yes, the French foreign office verified it. The G7 site was updated.

The G7 (the seven most powerful democratic economies in the world), representing nearly half of global GDP, responsible for coordinating responses to war, inflation, climate, AI governance, energy security, pandemics, and trade... has postponed its annual summit.

Because Trump wants to host a UFC cage match on the White House lawn for his 80th birthday.

This is where we’re at.
A fever dream timeline where the most economic influential people on Earth are bumped so America’s president can giggle while watching a bald man punch another oiled up man in front of the Rose Garden.

Somewhere, a Roman emperor is slow-clapping.

The rest of the world is still grappling with a cost-of-living crisis, several major conflicts, collapsing supply chains, climate catastrophes, and deepening ideological schisms.

But sure.
Let’s all just reschedule for after Donny’s big bash.

This is like that weird timeline in Back to the Future II but instead Biff becomes president.

09/01/2026

New footage from the ICE shooting has been released from the agents perspective... and it’s wild that anyone thought this was going to “support” the agent’s version.

The footage clearly shows Renee Nicole Good in her vehicle, interacting with federal agents. She’s calm, even smiling, and moving away from them... not charging at anyone with speed or force.

Federal officials have tried to frame it as self‑defense, but the video does not show anyone being run over or seriously threatening the agent’s life.

This wasn’t a routine stop. It was a federal operation with multiple agents surrounding a vehicle that was not under arrest or being charged. As she tried to drive off (understandable when orders were conflicting) one agent fired multiple shots, fatally killing her.

How anyone thinks this does anything but raise huge questions about the use of force is beyond me.

This isn’t spin. This is what happened. And she shouldn’t be dead.

09/01/2026

Shoutout to the real battlers.

While some are busy melting down about 15-minute cities and imaginary conspiracies, real Australians are out there fighting actual crises (fires, heatwaves, displacement) without a whisper of ego or fanfare.

Massive respect to CFA, SES, FRV, FFMV and interstate fire crews, putting their lives on the line in brutal heat, day after day.

Paramedics, ambos, police, and emergency dispatchers... copping the chaos head-on.

Sikh Volunteers Australia, Muslim Aid Australia, Khalsa Aid, local churches, mosques and temples... dishing out thousands of free hot meals around the country and to help displaced families, firies, and anyone in need. No preaching, no judgement. Just kindness, discipline, and service.

Everyday Aussies opening homes, offering showers, giving someone a cold drink, checking on a neighbour... that quiet human decency that never makes headlines but means everything.

You lot don’t just step up, you define what community looks like.

I wish I was half as decent as many of you.
You exemplify the best of this country.

09/01/2026

Ahh... David White.

Back again with the digital equivalent of farting in a lift and blaming the WHO.

This time, he's screenshot a study title... just the title, plonked it into the comments like it's the smoking gun of the century, muttered something cryptic about "regrets with complying," and wandered off like he's just left his cardigan at the bus stop.

Let’s unpack this. Slowly. With small words.
Because once again, we’ve got a classic case of "technically true, contextually deceptive, wildly misleading". And I’m feeling generous as I'm 4 glasses of sav blanc in.

The study is titled “Long-term follow-up and outcomes of COVID-19 vaccine associated myocarditis in Victoria, Australia: A clinical surveillance study.”

It was run by Royal Children’s Hospital, Murdoch Children's Research Institute, University of Melbourne and SAEFVIC / VicSIS (Australia’s official vaccine safety surveillance programs)

What it actually found (the bit he didn’t screenshot) is that vaccine-associated myocarditis exists.
It mostly affects young males, usually after dose two, occurs at a low rate, and is overwhelmingly mild.

That’s not breaking news. That’s been in ATAGI guidelines since Home and Away still had decent writers.

The long-term outcomes are (you ready for this?) overwhelming number of patients fully recovered, symptoms resolved in weeks,
normal cardiac function returned, no excess deaths, no hidden ticking time bombs, literally the reason this paper exists was to answer "Is there long-term damage?"
Answer: Nope.

Not in this cohort. Not in the data. Not in the real world.

“LNPs leave the injection site”
Oh, Wh**ey. You were so close to understanding immunology.

Yes, lipid nanoparticles (LNPs) leave the injection site. They are designed to. They travel to lymph nodes. That’s how your immune system goes, “Oi, what’s this?” and builds a response.

This has been known since before COVID.
If LNPs didn’t leave the site, you’d have about as much immunity as a cheese stick in the sun.

What the study doesn’t say or show...

No waves of long-term heart damage, no stealth epidemic of myocarditis, no justification for “regret with complying”, no broad vaccine harm narratives or anything about LNPs being dangerous...
It also doesn't say anything about mind control, 5G, graphene, or lizard royalty

In fact, this paper is often used by regulators to reassure patients and clinicians.

The only reason you’re hearing about it now is because someone like Wh**ey saw a scary word in the title and thought, “Oooooh, content".

The part they always leave out is that COVID infection itself causes myocarditis at a higher rate than the vaccine.
It hits older people, women, repeatedly, and with worse outcomes.

That’s not me editorialising... that’s what cardiology says.

But sure, David. Let’s pretend your screenshot is the smoking gun, and not the damp tissue it is.

This is why anti-vaxxers only ever posts the titles. Because the moment you look beneath it…
The narrative deflates faster than a Freedom Camp after Centrelink Tuesday.

08/01/2026

MAGA logic loop.exe has crashed.

It's been wild watching the same crowd scream “NEVER COMPLY!” for five straight years suddenly turn into jackboot apologists the second government agents shoot someone for not complying.

If it’s ICE or some small-town sheriff with a GED and an AR-15, it's “should’ve followed orders, bro".

Pick a lane, Patriots. Your hypocrisy is showing.

08/01/2026

Australia is currently the hottest place on Earth.

And tomorrow is even toastier. We’re talking extreme fire warnings.

So here’s your official reminder from a mildly pickled cucumber to stay hydrated, be kind and check in on your loved ones, neighbours and vulnerable folks.

I can’t spend too long outside the brine without shrivelling into a sad dill stick, so I’m topping up the G&T and riding it out like any sensible fermented vegetable should, thanks for checking in.

08/01/2026

Her name was Renee Nicole Good.

A 37-year-old mother of a 6-year-old.
Her glovebox was full of toys.

There’s already a thousands of takes about what happened in Minneapolis, Minnesota today.

Donald Trump has already weighed in, “truthing” his usual lines. Far-right media has begun calling her a “domestic terrorist,” parroting the same script they’ve used for years now.

This is what the glovebox of a so-called “domestic terrorist” looks like... crammed with kids toys and dolls. Not ammo. Not manifestos.

Just a mum with a child’s life in the back seat.

Here's the no spin:

• Renee pulled over, reportedly to pick someone up.

• ICE agents approached her vehicle from multiple sides.

• One told her to leave the area. Another screamed for her to get out of the car.

• One agent reached through her window.

• Renee reversed slightly, then turned her wheel and began to move forward, apparently trying to drive away.

• A third agent, standing at the front, stepped to the side and opened fire at Renee at point-blank range.

• Renee’s car collided with a parked Honda and a light pole.

• A nearby physician was reportedly blocked by agents from helping Renee.

• No medical aid was given for around 15 minutes.

• Paramedics to walk to Renee because ICE wouldn't move their vehicles.

The agent who fired the shots reportedly walked away and got in to a vehicle, on his feet the entire time. He was fine.

The videos are publicly available. Watch them if you must. But the outcome is already written.

A mother is dead.
A child is motherless.
And a system that screams “comply or die” gets another pass.

07/01/2026

You’d think being publicly humiliated for misunderstanding vaccine science hundreds of times would make a man pause. Maybe even shut up.

But no... RFK Jr. has graduated from podcast pseudoscience to a taxpayer-funded atrocity.

The U.S. Secretary of Health has greenlit a $1.6 million “study” in Guinea-Bissau... a country with one of the highest rates of hepatitis B infection on Earth, to test his pet theory that the Hep B birth dose causes neurological damage. You know, the same birth dose that’s saved millions of lives across three decades in the U.S. and is recommended globally.

So the plan is 14,000 babies divided into two groups... One gets the Hep B vaccine at birth (as they should). The other is intentionally denied that protection until six weeks old... even though that delay massively increases their risk of lifelong liver disease and cancer.

All so RFK can chase ghosts.
All so he can try to “prove” something the entire medical establishment disproved years ago.

And worst of all... he’s doing it in a developing country, where consent processes are murky, ethics boards are underfunded, and international outcry rarely arrives in time.

It’s the Tuskegee Experiment all over again.

Except this time, the lie isn’t "syphilis is harmless"... it’s "vaccines are the real threat."

And the outcome isn’t just academic... it leads to generational liver damage.

RFK is bypassing the standard scientific bidding process, handpicking anti-vax-friendly researchers, will rig the design to skew results and will do it all on the American dime, with taxpayer dollars funding a human rights disgrace.

Imagine a world where the U.S. government refused to test an unethical vaccine delay study on American babies... but thought it was fine for African ones. That world is now.

RFK isn’t just wrong. He’s dangerous. He’s exporting pseudoscience like it’s a colonial commodity.

And once again, the people paying the price are those with the least power to fight back.

07/01/2026

Cookers are at it again... hijacking real stories of real people to peddle their flea ointment fantasies.

This time, they’ve taken the journey of Tori... a young woman who battled glioblastoma the hard way, through radiation, surgery, and sheer grit... but they twisted it into another ivermectin fairy tale.

The post claimed she beat terminal brain cancer using a cocktail of various veterinary pastes, worming tablets, and CBD. It looked polished. It had “protocols.” It even had a timeline.

What it didn’t have was the truth.

Because those images were were stolen. The woman is Tori K. from Virginia... a survivor who fundraises for actual glioblastoma research. Her photo and story are publicly available through a legitimate cancer charity, and she makes no mention of miracle paste or pet meds. Just honesty, bravery, and a reality the grifters can’t monetise.

This scam page in question gets shared a lot by cookers, what they don't know is that it's based out of Nigeria, a hotspot for copy-paste medical grifts that cookers love to lap up... because it feeds the narrative they’re desperate to believe.

I reported the post. It's since been pulled. They haven’t posted in four days. Maybe they have a temporary suspension, maybe they know the pickle jar is on to them.

That’s four days fewer people being conned. Four days where someone desperate wasn’t sold snake oil dressed up as “patient empowerment.” Four days of silence from a page built on exploiting pain.

This is why we do it.

It may feel like squirting a water pistol at the sun… but every takedown is a little beam blocked. A little truth reclaimed. A little less room for the grift to grow.

Celebrate the little wins. Then reload.

Snarky Gherkin

11/01/2026

11/01/2026

10/01/2026

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09/01/2026

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