The Power of Birth

29/01/2025

Ella sat on the couch, staring at the mess of bottles, burp cloths, dishes, and laundry. The room felt small, suffocating. Theo lay in his bassinet, his soft breaths the only thing breaking the silence.

She should be happy. That's what everyone told her. But all she felt was... nothing. Life seemed to be in black and white.

A knock at the door startled her. She thought about ignoring it, pretending she was asleep, but then heard Leah's voice through the door. "Ella? Are you home?"

With a sigh, Ella pulled the door open. "I thought I'd stop by, I brought snacks!" They sat down on the couch, Leah setting down the coffees. "How are you?"

Ella gripped her cup a little tighter. "I'm fine."

Silence.

Leah just watched her, and Ella knew she saw it- the way her shoulders slumped, the spew on her clothes, the faded smile, the exhaustion, the emptiness, the heavy ache of pretending everything was fine when it wasn't.

Leah picked up a broken blue crayon out of her bag. "Ethan broke these yesterday. I almost threw them away. " She paused and then looked up. "But broken crayons still colour."

Her throat tightened. Looking down at the crayon- worn, snapped, imperfect. "I don't feel fine." The words barely a whisper.

Leah nodded in understanding. She reached for Ella's hand, squeezing it gently. "Even in pieces, you are still enough."

25/01/2025

FYI Brisbane mums!

📣 BRISBANE MUMS 📣

Our next Peer2Peer Meets in Nundah is coming up soon! We still have spots remaining ✨

If you feel like you have experienced birth-related trauma and want to meet some other mums who understand what you’re going through and start your path forward towards healing, this is for you!

Over six weeks we:

👉🏻 Explore birth debriefing and obtaining your medical records
👉🏻 How to help family and friends understand your experience
👉🏻 The importance of a collaborative healthcare team in the healing process

All whilst in a small, supportive group of women who have been where you are, to tell your story and feel heard and validated in your experience.

Our next round of Peer2Peer Meets kicks off on Thursday February 6th, 2025 at 9:30 - 11:30am in North Brisbane at Peach Tree Wellbeing Centre 15 Jenner St, Nundah QLD 4012. The group will run for six weeks.

Book your spot via the link in our bio or head to tinyurl.com/359w3trx

If you'd like to more information please email: [email protected] or [email protected]

25/01/2025

Thank you to ABTA for sharing my research!! ❤️🥹🙏

Birth Trauma & Emotional Support: Key Findings from New Study 🌸

A recent study on birth trauma in Australia highlights the widespread impact of traumatic birth experiences, with 33.7% of women describing their birth as traumatic—aligning with global figures of 33-45%. Key insights from the study include:

🔹 Emergency births (caesareans & instrumental deliveries) show the highest trauma rates—80% of women with emergency caesareans and 62% with instrumental deliveries reported trauma.

🔹 Even "routine" births (like scheduled C-sections or uncomplicated vaginal deliveries) can be perceived as traumatic, showing that birth trauma is not just about clinical complications but deeply personal, emotional experiences.

🔹 Respectful care matters: Women who felt more supported and in control during childbirth were less likely to report trauma. This shows that emotional and psychological support is just as important as medical care.

🔹 Birth Debriefings (BD): Debriefing can help improve perceptions of birth and maternal wellbeing, particularly for those who didn’t report trauma. However, BDs may not be enough for those who have experienced severe trauma—they need more personalised, trauma-informed care.

🔹 Only 26% of women received a BD, though 80% expressed interest. This gap shows a need for better access to emotional support and education on available services.

🔹 Midwifery-led care resulted in lower trauma rates, suggesting that continuity of care is key.

The study underscores the importance of person-centred, trauma-informed care to improve maternal mental health and support every mother, no matter her birth experience. 🫶💕

Huge congratulations to Amber-lee Buendicho from and Kachina Allen for this groundbreaking research. 👏🎉 Your work is helping reshape maternity care and improve the wellbeing of mothers everywhere! 🌟

Buendicho et al. (2025) is available to read here: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0266613824003504?via%3Dihub

01/01/2025

HERE SHE IS!!!! I birthed a thesis and it's now been published and available to everyone (open access)!!!

I completed a thesis back in 2022, looking at the impact of birth debriefing among women who describe their birth as traumatic. Research only focused on clinical thresholds of trauma (PTSD), I wanted to include the subjective experiences of women and birth trauma.

I believe lived experience needs to be reflected more in research, support and policies / guidelines. If we can purposefully weave lived experience and clinical experience together, perinatal mental health and maternity care will exponentially improve. Maybe that's a PhD? 😂

It took 18 months slowly drafting for publication (because how do you go from 8500 words to 4000, and also who has the time 😅) and another 7 months for the peer reviewed process. I need to give a huge shout out to my supervisor, Dr Kachina Allen at Southern Cross University for allowing me to develop a thesis from my passion and for challenging me so that we could produce something meaningful. She also kept reminding me to aim high, never in my life did I think I would be published in Midwifery- an internationally recognised scientific journal! That's what happens when you have people in your corner who believe in you.

Also a big thank you to my mother, who read every single proof, helped me edit and having endless conversations about this topic to help me get out what I wanted to say. And of course VJ for putting up with me when I'm stressed, sleep deprived and passionate (aka won't shut up).

Lastly, to the mamas who have suffered birth trauma but didn't feel it was "bad" enough and to those whose birth trauma was unsupported, dismissed or remains unacknowledged- this if for you!!! 🙏❤️

Buendicho et al. (2025) is available to read here: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0266613824003504?via%3Dihub

22/11/2024

Routine screening is essential, but it cannot succeed without addressing the underlying fear and stigma that prevent many mothers and parents from being honest. Far too often, screenings rely on impersonal questionnaires, that feel more like a checkbox exercise than a genuine attempt to understand a parents mental health.

Many mothers remain silent or answer dishonestly, gearing judgement or even separation from their baby. Many attempt to conceal their struggles to avoid being labelled unstable or incompetent or having their children taken away.

This fear isn't irrational- it reflects a broader failure in how we approach perinatal mental health. Screening must go beyond standardised forms to build trusting relationships between care providers and parents (which means we also need continuity of care in maternity and postpartum care). Parents need to feel that disclosing their struggles will lead to support, not condemnation or punitive actions. Without this cultural shift, mental health screening risks alienating the very people it's meant to help, perpetuating struggling in silence.

No parent should feel that seeking help puts them at risk.

21/11/2024

Becoming a mother changes everything about you- including your brain. We don't talk enough about these changes, and many new parents are caught off guard by scary, unwanted intrusive thoughts. These thoughts can range from random images to disturbing ideas and may feel distressing and overwhelming. I'm here to remind you that they are just thoughts, not a reflection of who you are or your intentions as a mum.

Intrusive thoughts are so common, in fact up to 100% of mums experience them, including 50% of purposeful harm. They are egodystonic, meaning they go against your values and intentions as a parent.

I like to explain the brain changes that occur in pregnancy as we go from "me" thinking, to "we" thinking. Your pre baby self only had to think about herself... your new mum self is neurobiologically wired to think of both of you and the baby, it's almost impossible for you to not!

What comes with these changes is 'threat detection'. Your brain is responsible for detecting threat to protect your baby and we have to help our brains understand what is threatening and what is not.

It's important to recognise that in some cases these thoughts can be unmanageable, leading to OCD, depression and anxiety that is interfering with your daily life, or if they no longer feel unwanted or distressing, or if you are struggling to care for yourself or baby because of them, this is when we need help.

Let's talk about intrusive thoughts because you are not alone, you are not crazy and they don't define you as a mother.

20/11/2024

Karen Kleiman and her team capture the inner experience of having a baby and struggling with your mental health perfectly.

Do you see yourself here?

I find I am constantly pulling out this book in therapy sessions to help identify, describe and explain what's happening in our minds after having a baby- and it resonates with every single mum I have showed it to. I wish this was the book you were given as a baby shower gift or when leaving the hospital because we need to talk about this! And it's important we see our experiences reflected in the motherhood literature.

Big shout out to

Book: Good Mums Have Scary Thoughts by Karen Kleiman & What About Us? By Karen Kleiman

19/11/2024

Repost


I loved this so much that it deserved a permanent post, not just a story repost, because this reflects so many different experiences in motherhood. I often see this in experiences of pregnancy and infant loss, pregnancy and birth complications including trauma, disability or impairment in children, and even pelvic floor injury or dysfunction.

These experiences have an impact, they can change parts of who we are and who we spend our time with, some friendships or environments can activate the pain in you, it may appear as jealousy or judgement, but really, it is because we are in pain and our friendships and relationships take a hit.

Did you notice this change?

# #

23/09/2024

I just want you to know the work you put in, no matter how small, is creating change.

In motherhood, it can often feel like you're putting in so much effort, yet feel as though you're "stuck" or not moving forward. This is especially true when dealing with mental health challenges like postpartum depression or anxiety. Progress in these areas is not always linear—it often feels like you’re going in circles. But in reality, you're spiraling upward, making gains that are subtle but significant over time.

This cycle of trying, resting, and sometimes feeling like you've failed is part of the process. Each attempt to manage emotions, set boundaries, or simply survive the day is a step toward growth. Even if it feels repetitive, you are progressing. The key is recognising that small changes compound over time, and even on days when it feels like you're back where you started, you’re actually building on everything you've done before.

You may experiment with various techniques—mindfulness, journaling, talking to a therapist—but feel like you're not making progress because it doesn’t “fix” things immediately. The truth is, each attempt is building your toolkit, and eventually, you’ll find a rhythm that helps you cope more effectively.

Keep moving, keep going, even when it feels like you’re standing still. ❤️

Pic from

06/09/2024

🌸 JOIN OUR FREE 30-MIN ONLINE MINDFULNESS SESSIONS EVERY MONDAY! 🌸

While I am on placement with Three Little Birds Psychology, I am guiding mini mindfulness sessions online every Monday at 1pm AEST!

These sessions are designed as drop-in moments of self care, perfect for anyone needing a reset or pause in their day.

Each week we will explore a variety of mindfulness techniques such as:
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Leaves on a Stream
Breathwork
Body Scans
Walking Meditation
Self Compassion Mind Training
and many more!!

HOW TO JOIN: these sessions are free and open to everyone. If you or someone you know are interested, simply DM me, comment on this post or email 📧 [email protected] for more details and the link to join 🙂

I would love to see you there!

Feel free to share this post to spread the message 🥰

04/09/2024

🌸 JOIN OUR FREE 30-MIN ONLINE MINDFULNESS SESSIONS EVERY MONDAY! 🌸

While I am on placement with Three Little Birds Psychology, I am guiding mini mindfulness sessions online every Monday at 1pm!

These sessions are designed as drop-in moments of self care, perfect for anyone needing a reset or pause in their day.

Each week we will explore a variety of mindfulness techniques such as:
Progressive Muscle Relaxation
Leaves on a Stream
Breathwork
Body Scans
Walking Meditation
Self Compassion Mind Training
and many more!!

HOW TO JOIN: these sessions are free and open to everyone. If you or someone you know are interested, simply email 📧 [email protected] for more details and the link to join 🙂

I would love to see you there!

Feel free to share this post to spread the message 🥰

01/08/2024

Breastfeeding is often depicted as effortless and natural. Your baby is hungry, you pull down your shirt, unhook your bra, help your baby latch on, and continue on. Some mothers walk while feeding, do the grocery shopping with a feeding baby in a carrier, feed while having a conversation, cooking dinner, or tending to other children. I've seen it all. Yet, the reality for many is far more complex.

When I had my first baby, I was completely shocked at how little milk I produced, how I couldn't calm my screaming baby with my b***s, how absolutely ravenous and thirsty I was all.the.time. I did not know that my baby had to learn to feed. I did not know how sore, bloody, and painful breastfeeding could be, or that it took up an average of 1,800 hours of my time in the first year (a full-time job takes 1,960 hours). The constant physical and mental load of pumping, feeding, burping, latching, and positioning was all so exhausting. Even not being able to leave for too long because your body is needed. Eventually, it got easier, but I never enjoyed it.

With my second baby, I had an oversupply issue, to the point she was drowning, unsettled, and it was such a stressful experience for both of us. By 8 weeks, she wanted no breast anywhere near her, not even a bottle, and had complete oral refusal. How could a baby reject the very thing that naturally keeps them alive? Three days later, after some emergency appointments, she took a bottle with extremely thick reflux formula that I believe saved her life.

I recognize the importance of breastfeeding and that many have wonderful, bonding experiences. However, we must also acknowledge the toxic narratives around it that make mothers invisible, and even traumatized (yes, breastfeeding trauma is real).

This World Breastfeeding Awareness Week, we must call for more than just encouragement to breastfeed. We need ongoing support and damage control to ensure that mothers are truly supported in their breastfeeding journeys. It's time to change the narrative and provide the resources and understanding that mothers and families deserve. Let's make sure every mother has the support she needs, not just the pressure to breastfeed.