Pleasure Love Relating / Tanya Koens

19/06/2025

World Congress in S*xual Health wrap

WARNING SOME SLIDES CONTAIN DISTURBING CONTENT

What a whirlwind and exhilarating week it’s been!

Aside from the networking there have been so many interesting and motivating presentations to attend. My brain is now trying to integrate it all.

Presentations on giving parents the tools to educate kids, on speaking to young men about the manosphere and what masculinity is, the presence of eating disorders in non binary and neurodivergent folk.

Working with and learning from First Nations people.

Some disturbing research on the upsurge of violent s*xual behaviors, choking and rough play from NZ and how the Australian media handle s*xual assault reporting and the impacts of this courts, justice system and how the victims of these crimes are treated.

Regulation of s*xual content in the media, the importance of indie p**n producers and so much more …

Slides shown here are a small sample of many images and notes I have made.

I will be writing more about this in the coming weeks. For now it’s time to rest and integrate and do a lil bit of Brisbane socializing!

*xualhealth *xgeek *xnerd *xologist

*xualhealth

17/06/2025

Day 2 round up

Too many presentations spinning around my head!

Highlights were:

Loved Dr Lex Brown-James - The Black Girls Guide to Getting Rid of Shame

Helen O’Connell reminding us how important it is to know our anatomy and that it can’t be conveniently erased.

The future of relationships and the rise of single people and also guidelines for parents and schools to teach kids about s*x and their bodies

The stellar panel for Unfiltered: S*x, Power and Pleasure wrapped up a very full day.

On thing that has been surprising, taken me aback and made me realise that I have been a little withdrawn with work and social life - was the number of people who know me or wanted to meet me or told me I taught them inspiring things … it’s invigorated me to write and to teach more and to humbly appreciate my place in the field. I am so very grateful.

*xologist *xualhealth *xeducation *xualjustice *xnerd

*xualhealth *xologist

17/06/2025

Day 2 World Congress in S*xology

This morning was full of inspiring g presentations and sine groups d covered that is already much of my schtick.

I will say it again- it’s great to see pleasure and consent being discussed- even if it’s simply noting the need for more research! It’s woven through so many presentations.

Prof. Pedro Nobre told us that pleasure is now included in well being definitions
 
And that in a list of standard world development goals that s*xual health impacts
- good health and wellbeing
- education quality
- gender equality
- reduce inequality
- peace, justice and strong institutions

After reviewing all the papers on s*xual health there were only 63 studies around the world in s*xual health and wellbeing - none on pleasure or consent. I’m looking at you and feeling motivated to get writing on my book which will centre pleasure!

We had chats about the or**sm gap which is my standard soapbox - good to see it being expanded on, and that research for more communities is slated.

Seeing qu**rs, people of colour, disability researchers and s*x workers all having a seat at the table to present and discuss work is making my little heart pound in the best way!

Homemade lunch and quick break at home for a bit.

This afternoon my hero - Helen O’Connell will be speaking. A bad ass urologist who researched the cl****is in her “spare” time. She changed things up dramatically for my in my s*x therapy journey. The better we know and understand our bodies, the better we are able to advocate for them - watch this space

*xology *xologist **smgap *xnerding *xualhealth

16/06/2025

Day 1 of World S*xology Congress

The opening to the conference today showed us just how far we have come since the conference was held in Sydney in 2007. Then it was a bunch of middle aged white cis-gendered men talking AT an audience. It was all scientific research and very little else. I remember going to sessions by Dr Rosie King in a tiny room that was packed to the brim with people wanting to hear something different!

The opening address put together by Armin Ariana - the head of Society of S*xologists in Queensland and it was a completely heartfelt and emotional experience. Instead of speaking and entering himself, he put together a panel of people to speak about s*xual justice and their marginalised communities. It was phenomenal and focused on bringing us all together to facilitate change in the world to make sure that pleasure is scientific, relevant and politically empowered. Also to both define and work towards s*xual justice.

Justice is not a consensual issue. Katrina Marson told us that justice is an unknowable word and that it should be all about s*xual health and well being. S*xual well being is a higher ideal than s*xual justice.

Never have I been more proud to do the work that I do.

It’s gorgeous hanging with my conference bestie and it’s lovely seeing so many wonderful colleagues and friends and meeting new people. It’s actually a lot but it’s all so good. Am breathing deeply and inhaling it all.

Three more days to go!

*xologycongress *xologist *xualjustice *xualhealth

Nessy Noogs Richelle Menzies Anthony Smith

13/06/2025

Had a chat to the ABC about s*xless relationships ...

Whether it's no s*x or infrequent s*x over an extended period, a lack of intimacy in relationships is "more common than many think", experts say.

03/06/2025

Great to see this article and recognition of the amazing work of Betty Martin in the field of consent. Betty is the reason why consent is deeply rooted in all the work that I do.

Some of her work will be included in my next masterclass: Working with Consent on June 11 - its not too late to enrol.

Some organizations sell products. Others provide services. But a rare few offer something deeper: a framework for transformation. They become guides, foundations, and lifelines. The Wheel of Consent is one of those rare creations.

01/06/2025

Your client couple sits on your couch, avoiding eye contact. One partner feels pressured, the other feels rejected. Sound familiar?

Here's what might surprise you - consent isn't just about saying yes or no to s*x. It's actually one of the most powerful therapeutic tools we have for transforming relationships.

Join me next Wednesday 11 June, 12-1:30pm for "Working with Consent" - a masterclass that will completely shift how you think about this essential practice.
You'll discover how consent can:

✨ Create genuine safety between partners
✨ Exponentially increase pleasure and connection
✨ Become your go-to intervention for mismatched libidos, s*xual pain, and communication breakdowns
✨ Help clients learn what they actually want (and communicate it clearly)

Book your place at the link in my bio or www.pleasureloverelating.com/masterclasses

*xtherapy101 *xtherapist *xtherapy

09/05/2025

💔Just one week to go until my Working with Infidelity masterclass.

Infidelity - it's one of the most painful and challenging issues that a relationship can face.

As therapists, we need to learn the skills to support clients to make sense of the confusing and difficult feelings that can arise and to rebuild trust.

I'm so pleased to be offering this important masterclass for practitioners again next Wednesday. Join us, and learn skills to approach infidelity with curiosity and compassion.

Book your place: www.pleasureloverelating.com/masterclasses

*xtherapy101 *xtherapy *xtherapist

06/05/2025

Hi friends! Looking to expand your clinical skills in s*x therapy and relationship counselling? I'm so pleased to be offering both individual and group supervision options for 2025.

🫶 Individual Supervision: Available now for immediate booking
🫶 Group Supervision: Blocks of four sessions starting in May 2025 (limited spaces available)

These sessions are perfect for:

🧡 Therapists wanting to integrate s*x therapy approaches
🧡 Counsellors seeking guidance on complex cases
🧡 Allied health professionals looking to better support clients with intimate concerns
🧡 Practitioners interested in specialised supervision with a s*x-positive, inclusive framework

Don't miss out! Book your spot at the link in my bio or www.pleasureloverelating.com/book-a-session

*xtherapy101 *xtherapy *xtherapist

02/05/2025

🧡I'm thrilled to be opening my books for new counselling clients. Spots are filling up fast, so book now to avoid disappointment.🧡

I'm current offering counselling sessions over Zoom, but I have exciting news. I'll be offering in-person sessions in the Northern Rivers, NSW soon - watch this space!

If you're new to working with me, here's a little about what you can expect: I've spent 20 years of working as a Clinical and Somatic S*xologist and Counsellor, specialising in supporting people’s relationships with self, others, and s*x, using a person-centred counselling style. I help folk explore their present situation and work on understanding themselves better to make positive changes in their lives.

To book an appointment, visit the link in my bio or head to pleasureloverelating.com/book-a-session

*xtherapy101 *xtherapy *xtherapist

22/04/2025

If you are seeing more clients with questions about open relationships and the polyamorous lifestyle, my new masterclass is for you!

In this jam-packed 1.5 hour course we'll cover:

🧡 What to do when one partner wants to open the relationship (and the other doesn't!)
🧡 Creating psychological safety for those difficult conversations both in therapy and beyond
🧡 Understanding motivations - why people choose open relationships and what they're hoping to gain
🧡 Different relationship structures - from monogamish to relationship anarchy and everything in between
🧡 Practical frameworks to help clients navigate common challenges and pitfalls
You'll walk away with concrete tools to support clients through these complex dynamics, regardless of your personal stance on non-monogamy.

This exciting new course is coming up in just over a week! Secure your place at the link in my bio or www.pleasureloverelating.com/masterclasses

*xtherapy101 *xtherapy

25/02/2025

Who needs to be talking about s*x? WE ALL DO.

S*x, s*xuality, shame and identity are in the news, for all the wrong reasons. It has never been more important for people to be having frank, honest and inclusive conversation about s*x, consent and s*xuality.

I'm so pleased to be once again offering my much-loved course, How to Talk About S*x in a Clinical setting. Learn skills to hold space for your clients in a world that needs more space.

Book your place at the link in my bio or www.pleasureloverelating.com/httas

*xtherapy *xtherapy101