08/06/2026
Sunday, 6:07am
I awoke this morning with the emotional energy of Indiana Jones watching the temple door close behind him.
Readers the treasure behind that door was breakfast
Sunday had arrived and my humans were attempting something they call a “lie in.”
Personally I find the entire concept offensive!
At 6:08am I entered the bedroom and immediately found Mum and Dad still asleep, the confidence was extraordinary.
So I began operations my first target was the bedroom mirror.
Now personally I wasn’t looking for trouble.
I hopped onto the dressing table and caught sight of a black and white cat staring directly at me.
Readers this cat looked incredible, Immaculate tuxedo, strong jawline, excellent posture.
I nodded respectfully
He nodded back
Professional courtesy 😼
Unfortunately when I leaned closer he also leaned closer.
Interesting very interesting.
For several seconds we simply stared at each other then I reached out a paw.
He reached out a paw.
I still don’t know how he was doing it.
Mum opened one eye, “Felix stop fighting yourself”
Mother please this is an active investigation 😾
Having established dominance over the mirror cat, I moved onto phase two Dad!
The man was asleep on his back sounding like a tractor idling outside a village hall!
Now personally I noticed something immediately, one arm had escaped the duvet.
Interesting I approached carefully, then I collapsed onto it like several kilograms of unresolved breakfast concerns
Not enough to wake him, just enough to make things inconvenient!
Dad attempted to move his arm.
I moved with it.
The arm moved again.
I moved again.
Readers for several minutes we became involved in a bizarre, half asleep tug of war neither of us had agreed to!
Eventually Dad opened one eye saw me lying on his arm and sighed, then closed his eye again.
Weak leadership 😾
At this point I felt stronger measures were required!
So I climbed onto the headboard behind Mum and balanced carefully, then began slowly patting her hair.
Just gentle little baps
Bap
Bap
Bap
Like a tiny furry life coach checking she was still committed to the day 😼
Mum immediately buried her face deeper into the pillow, “Felix please no”
Interesting feedback from somebody still refusing to provide breakfast!
So naturally I continued.
Bap
Bap
Bap
Eventually Mum rolled over and opened both eyes
At exactly the same moment Willow wandered into the bedroom.
The woman took one look at the situation, judged everyone involved, then sat down in the doorway like a nightclub bouncer observing an incident
No help, no contribution, just judgement.
Witch 😾
Dad was now awake too, Mum was glaring up at me.
Willow was glaring at everybody, and I was still standing on the headboard.
Honestly the atmosphere had become complicated.
Finally Dad rubbed his face and delivered the only sensible suggestion anyone had made all morning!
“Just feed him”
Strong leadership!
Late but strong 😼
Breakfast arrived at 6:19am while Willow supervised from a safe distance and Mum continued complaining about being repeatedly patted awake!
I ate triumphantly!!
The mirror cat?
defeated
Dad’s arm?
occupied
The lie in?
cancelled 😾
Felix mirror negotiator, arm weight specialist, professional hair tapper, chaos in formalwear
