Living Well Regardless

28/11/2024

Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.
Richard Rohr, Breathing Under Water, Franciscan Media, p. 103

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15/11/2024

When faced with challenges in life, people have often asked me what they should do to make things better. Unfortunately what they are looking to change is not actually in their control to change.

I suggest a better question is “Who do I want to be in this situation?” This is a values based question and once you identify your values then you can move towards them and be that person you desire.

If you value a healthy sense of self in relation to others you will discover how that can play out when relationships get rocky.

If you value your mental health you will discover ways to promote your mental health through practices such as meditation, breathing exercises and focusing on psychological flexibility.

Values are key to behaviour and to experience. Keep your eye on the prize adn be the best person you can be in every situation.

22/03/2024

Free Conference - Mindful Parenting and Mental Wellness - October 14-18, 2021

22/03/2024

Dear Friends,

I have had a couple of weeks reflecting on my retirement from private practice and I have decided that if I had a prescription pad, I would write the same prescription for all my clients- "Dr Steve prescribes LOVE. Find LOVE and then practice LOVE in every aspect of your life."

I can unpack that in so many different ways but it all boils down to this one prescription. Love and keep on loving.

01/03/2024

Dear Friends,
I am no longer providing family therapy and counselling services due to health reasons. Thank you for your support and understanding.
I have decided to retire from the profession and spend more time with family and friends.
Warm regards and keep living well regardless.

17/01/2024

The medical model of diagnosing disorders and recommending treatments has mental health services across the Western world in a strangle hold. But it isn't without its challengers. Steven C. Hayes and Stefan G. Hoffman have been working for decades to try to find a way to shift the focus of therapies away from diagnostic criteria and manualised treatments to a transdiagnostic process-based approach to therapy. This new focus is on change processes that can be applied across diagnostic criteria because they are in fact by nature transdiagnostic. The focus is also on what is called ideographic information that essentially means based on the individual as a unique being not applying some vague and misleading notion of what is 'normal'.

I am attracted to the idea of finding ways to help clients focus on change and how that happens after they have left the room and are out living their lives in all the contexts in which they live them.

I subscribe to a therapy platform that links me with clients 24/7 through an app called PsychFlex. Whatever we have discussed in the therapy space I can send resources for clients to receive on their phones and remind them of the strategies we have decided to use to effect change. It is free to the client. It is like having a therapist in their pocket. Their phone is populated with individualised strategies, resources, and learning materials selected by me to support the changes they have identified are needed in their lives.

This an exciting new way to support clients no matter what their diagnosis is.

20/12/2023

The main game is definitely developing psychological flexibility. Rigidity is the enemy of serenity.

14/12/2023

Australian Christmases are unique events. They can be the very best of us and the very worst of us. Strive to be compassionate and kind especially towards yourself in the next few weeks. You don't have to buy into the materialist dream in order to show people that you care.

Intelligent search from Bing makes it easier to quickly find what you’re looking for and rewards you.

17/11/2023

It is important when parenting to validate your children. Validation is a way to help your children experience being understood, accepted and loved. I gives them the experience of being seen.

Validation doesn't mean accepting every behaviour and never challenging children to learn the value of being respectful, honest reliable and peaceful. It just doesn't 'cancel' them when they are not behaving the way you might want them to.

When parents validate their children they build up a powerful protective factor for future mental health and wellbeing. They also teach them how to validate themselves and others so that more peaceful, respectful relationships can flourish.

06/11/2023

Happy families are flexible. They stretch to accommodate whatever is happening to them from the outside and from the inside. They are balanced and harmonious. When families get unbalanced they suffer stress and just like an individual they can behave in defensive ways, closed off and controlling. Getting back in balance is the way to family health. A family has patterns of relating just like individuals have patterns of interaction. Sometimes families get stuck in these patterns, unaware that they can change. But change is possible and desirable. Flexibility is key to adaptation. Love and kindness is key to reconciliation. Families are the most significant factor in our development as humans. Be kind, compassionate and forgiving.

18/10/2023

Registered counsellors provide valuable mental health support for a broad range of clients and charge fees for their professional services that are in most circumstances at least half of the fee charged by Clinical Psychologists.
Counsellors have all the same costs associated with running a private practice, pay for insurance, professional membership, mandatory professional supervision and mandatory professional development.
Having access to a medicare rebate scheme would assist counsellors to reach more clients who cannot afford to access the help they desperately need.
The Australian Counselling Association is currently petitioning the Federal Government to give counsellors access to the medicare rebate scheme so that they can keep costs down for clients and ensure that those who need mental health support get what they need in a timely fashion. I support this action.

17/09/2023

Hope faith and love. And the greatest of these is love. Being seen, being heard, being vulnerable in the presence of another who does not shame or judge but accepts you unconditionally as you are is being loved. It is a powerful catalyst for healing deep wounds.

17/09/2023

Our capacity to grieve, to feel deep empathy with those we love and those around us who suffer is a reflection of our capacity to love. The gifts we receive from our capacity to love are matched by the pain we experience as a consequence of this love. Who would give away their capacity to love just to avoid the experience of pain that sometimes comes with it?

12/08/2023

It is possible to rewrite the stories we tell ourselves about our past. We often focus on the traumatic experiences we have had and the impacts of these. There is a good evolutionary explanation for this. It is all about a story of survival that stretches far back into the sands of time.
We can also shift our attention to our stories of resilience, of overcoming circumstances to build a life worth living, and of all the little episodes of love that we have forgotten.
Don't forget that there is often gold in the shadows of our lives.
We can live well regardless of our stories of suffering.

02/08/2023

One of the most interesting counselling processes I use with clients is Sandtray Therapy. I use figurines of many different types that clients put into a tray of sand that they shape into landscapes. The figurines are symbols of their inner lives and through exploration help them to understand what is driving how they experience life, themselves, others, and the world.

02/08/2023

Here is an interesting concept, we often ask ourselves, "What is wrong with me?", and we never seem to think that the answer to that is, "nothing". The reality is, mostly, we are being stretched by circumstances to cope with stressors that we haven't developed the skills yet to deal with.

We feel anxious so we say we have anxiety. We feel down so we say we are depressed. Our moods swing from high to low so we say we are bipolar.

Often we are stressed and our systems are working overtime to try to deal with the complex reactions triggered in our bodies and minds when chronic stress is a factor in our lives. And let's face it, many people today live very stressful lives.

You can learn to manage chronic stress in your life. Help is available.

22/07/2023

I really want to promote one important concept to everyone I meet. It is the concept of hope.
One song I think communicates what I mean is this one. Now anyone who knows me well will know this is not my kind of gig but what I see here is so much hope, so much community just being joyous and I hope every one of us can get a big dose of this sometimes to keep us inspired. Love!

André Rieu & Trini Lopez performing If I Had A Hammer live in Maastricht. Taken from the DVD André Rieu & Friends. For concert dates and tickets visit: http:...