23/01/2019
My life story
Chapter 1
There was once a little girl who lived on a farm. She didn’t know what to do when she was young. She constantly dreamt of growing up with dreams coming true that she would find her partner for life. She kept trying to find the one that would be called MR RIGHT but had no luck because they were all bad for her.
As she turned 12, she had her first boyfriend but turns out he was nothing. He didn’t treat her right over the course of 3 years worth of relationship. Nobody liked them together so they ended things abuptly. Which in the end of this story you’ll find out why that is.
Chapter 2
High school started and the bullying in her life started to get bad. Nobody knew what was going through her mind so they just thought that “f**k it - we will make it worse, by making her feel like s**t”.
As the years of high school went on, s**t went down with her family, friends and relationships.
“Shrek, why the f**k are you so ugly for?” “Why the f**k are you so fat for?” “What’s wrong with you and why do you not react?”
She wouldn’t react simply because she couldn’t care.
Nobody knows or knew I should say what she was going through! Nobody including her parents at the time, according to her, didn’t know! Didn’t know that she was feeling useless. Unwanted. Betrayed. Fu**ed over.
As high school was coming to an end, she had counseling happening to try and avoid what was going on in her life. Or should I say what was happening with the males of her life life’s..... She didn’t know how to react or how to talk about it to anybody. Not even her own loving adoring family.
Why should she, why should she complain about all the horrible things that had gone wrong in her life. Why should she have had felt this way. Why ? Why is the big question!
The male role models in her life
Well f**k which one should I start with.... How about about that first boyfriend that she went on about earlier on in the story? Yep sounds good they reply.
Chapter 3
It all started back in yr6 when they first met. She felt horrible because she hated everybody and everything at the time due to having to move away from her dads. Her home!
He was the first person who wanted to be nice to the only newest kid in the yr6 class.
She thought wow why so nice. In the end, he wasn’t as nice or as caring as she thought. The three years that they spent together on and off as a couple was good and well. By this time, they had just started year10, they were losing communication and he dropped out of school. No words - no nothing. She started thinking what’s wrong with me. Why is he avoiding me?! Turns out he didn’t want to be with her on her terms.
What kind of man she thought would do this? At the time she didn’t think that anybody else could ever love her or she could be loved. This guy was her best friend and she couldn’t stand to be without him.
But he still avoided her. He couldn’t give a f**k about her.
High school finished and they weren’t talking still. She never slept with him during high school.
What was the point ? She didn’t want to lose her virginity during high school but you see this is where s**t went wrong.
Chapter 4
She got r***d during yr10 and didn’t bother telling anybody. So she started dating other people. To try and cover up the secret that she had buried deep inside her mind.
Nobody except her and her counsellor knew about this. Why should she broadcast it. People would just think that she’s trying to seek attention. But it wasn’t like that. People can always assume the worse about you without knowing your story.
Chapter 5
So this guy that she was dating after he found out that she wasn’t a virgin anymore. Decided to take advantage of her one night when they were drinking together out at the club. Although to her she wasn’t that drunk, he was completely out of it. During the night earlier on, they had left the club because the guy had collapsed and injured his leg.
Two weeks later this guy stops talking to her completely thinking what the f**k is she wanting to be with me for. So two weeks go past and he breaks up with her all over again but this time forever!
At this stage she couldn’t give a f**k. She wasn’t even upset about it.
She knew that life could and would go on and she could find somebody better.
Chapter 6
The next year she thought she had found somebody appropriate but turns out he fu**ed her over big time. He was a drug addict. He made her feel like she had to give in to anything he asked of her or else s**t would break lose and he would treat her even bad.
By this stage she was s**t scared of losing him because she was the best damn thing for him but he spent a whole year with her and then fu**ed her off and started doin s**t on his own.
After this one year of dating this person, she went on and became single but he still tried to communicate with her but she couldn’t bring herself to bear it.
She had known him for 8 years and now things between them have completely turned a bad page.
She tries to find somebody else but there was no more luck in 2018.
Chapter 7
Now it’s 2019 and she doesn’t know what to do.
She doesn’t know what to think due to being all alone and single.
But as the short days of the start of 2019 occurs. She starts talking to one of her mates. She thinks about asking the question of dating him. But how can she bare herself to ask him when she’s gone through so much heartbreak already.
What if he does the same s**t to her ?
Obviously there are good points to him.
His not a drug addict that she’s aware of.
He tries to talk to her nearly every day when his not working.
But you see that’s the thing she talks to him or tries to when his at work.
She tries not to because she thinks that what if he is really busy and can’t talk ?
So she leaves it if he doesn’t reply and waits for his next move.
He has started to show her that she can start to trust him. But she can’t fully trust him until she goes to see him face to face.
She thinks she’s found the one that she wants to be with but she doesn’t know how he is going to be with her when his so far away...... How can there be trust if they can’t physically see each other.
Will she believe that things will be ok ?
Let’s see...
So far things are going good. Well she thinks they are.
She wants to believe that all of his good qualities and hers will help them get through anything.
Works going great for both of them. But they soon tell each other what they have had happen in their lives.
Sad times, painful times, happy times. They got through them all.
Life is a struggle in itself. Living day by day is hard when your family isn’t happy with each other.
2019 should be a good year for them both she thought. But she found out som**hing that was so upsetting that she didn’t know what to say to him at all. She was lost for words.
Chapter 8
It’s been so long since she’s been able to see him face to face, been able to kiss him, hug him, she wants to be his strength and his one and only for good but it’s all determine on what they decide to do together. They could have a long distance relationship with communication and see how it goes or they could do long distance for a little whole and then eventually maybe in a year or so move in together and hopefully settle down with each other and start their family that they’ve always spoken to each other about.
She wants to believe that he will do right by her and not f**k up again. But only his thoughts and time a lot or not a lot of time can sort this factor out. The past 4 years have proven this to me because they have constantly wanted to date each other no matter what.
Chapter 9
I was yet again wrong.
I have been played yet again by him.
Why do I bother trying to prove myself right when every time I prove myself wrong.
His moved on yet again. Fu**ed my feelings around yet again. Enough is enough.
The end!