20/12/2021
Grief at Christmas
Christmas and the Holiday season can be an especially difficult time for families and those who are grieving a loved one. Whether itâs a recent loss, or grief for someone that has been gone for many years, this special time of year can reignite and intensify feelings of heartache once more.
Maybe itâs not a family member youâve lost, but a close friend, a pet, or the impact of a life event such as divorce. Whatever you are grieving - sadness, anguish and even depression can steal your joy of Christmas time.
The holidays are meant to be a delightful time of celebration, spent with loved ones and family, but now there is a void and how can it be filled? Simply it cannot, your heart needs to heal, the pain and grief are there and need to be recognised.
As the Holiday season approaches, be aware and acknowledge that Christmas may be hard and certainly different. If youâre prepared in advance for these feelings and emotions, it may be easier to cope.
Decide where you want to be on Christmas Day, you may want the familiarity of a place and people that will spark fond memories, or maybe youâd prefer to be somewhere totally different that keeps your mind occupied.
If cancelling out of all plans seems right to you, then do it without the burden of guilt. Make sure that you let people know in advance, that this year youâre sitting Christmas out. Have a "plan B" up your sleeve though just in case you change your mind at the last minute, itâs comforting to know itâs there if you need it.
Set aside some time as the holiday approaches to focus on your situation and how you feel. Perhaps itâs time to start a new tradition. Light a candle, play some favourite music and bring out the old photo albums to reminisce alone or with other family members or friends. Use this special time to focus on your loss and not mask your feelings, there is no shame in feeling vulnerable and sad.
Itâs clear that Christmas is an intensely emotionally time for many, not just the bereaved. There is no need to hide or bury your emotions, just accept that you may not feel your best. Take care of you, there are no rules to follow at this time, no right or wrong way to handle your emotions.
With the passing of time, each season will become easier, traditions will change, and new ones will be created. Grief is the process by which you heal. Allow yourself time to feel the pain and make sure to always reach out to others for support when needed.
Talk to a friend or family member to share your feelings, or another option for you is to call Lifeline on 131 114 for a chat or visit their website on www.lifeline.org.au